I Want To Be Me Again.

I have been married to my husband for 14 years,  we both had children when we married that are now grown.  My Daughter is away at college now, and I am learning that me and my husband have nothing in common anymore.  We live our lives day to day, hardly talking and never doing anything together.  He seems perfectly content to live this way.  But I am not!!!, Maybe I am having a Mid life Crises, but I want to live again.  I feel so dead inside,  Like   "I" don't exist anymore.  I have revolved the last 20 years of my life into being a MOM, and the last 14 years as a WIFE.   But in all of this time I forgot about the fun loving woman that I forced down deep inside, because she did not fit into the plans anymore.   I miss Her!!!   I married when I was 29 and feel like part of me died at that time.  So I have made the decision that I am going to live my life the way I want to, I am too young to let my life slip away.  If my husband is not happy with the life that I choose to live, then either he can decide to learn to accept it or maybe it is time for us to end our marriage.  I have lived his way for 14 years and it is killing me and my spirit, now is my time. 

MKsweetness MKsweetness
46-50, F
5 Responses Feb 13, 2010

You go Girl !!! Life is too short to be miserable... God cannot open a new door until we close the door of unhappiness and leave it behind.. Im in the same boat as you.... dont know why I have stayed so long in misery and unhappiness. I cannot wait to be free of this so called lifeless , emotionless, loveless marriage !

You are seeking space and want to have your share of fun in life. I totally agree with you. You could communicate with me if you want . My mail id "zingzang27@gmail.com"

i understand where your coming from its hard to do but you have the right to live and have a happy life go for it and come alive again

I totally understand what you are saying and can relate!

Thank you for sharing this experience....although my daughter is still very small but I have started to feel like I don't exist anymore...as if I am a dead person doing things for others to keep it going...