I Know It Can Work Out

I feel like such a fool. My husband cheated on me with my best friend. Initially, she said she wanted both of us. He and I had been having problems but he wanted to do this. Against my better judgement, I did it.

I had started to feel that she wanted only him and that I was just an obstacle. When I told him this, he said I was wrong. She eventually admitted she wanted only him and ended it with us. She has been trying to get him to leave. Now, he is deciding between her and me.

He has said he is in love with her, and not me. But we've been together for eight years. I fell out of love with him a few times as well. I've been changing and most of the issues we have had aren't there anymore. But he doesn't see that. He only sees the past.

The other problem is that she is 11 years younger than him (9 younger than me). She has never lived on her own, nor has she ever had to be accountable for anything. I'm fairly sure now that she has some sort of instability. She has no remorse on what she did to me (the betrayal, deceit, and manipulation of me). I also know her a lot better than him and I feel that she WILL hurt him. As much as I should be happy about that prospect, I can't be.

So, here I am... waiting for the possibility of my life ending as I know it. But I have such hope for this relationship and for us that I can't leave. I can't give him ultimatims. I can't even react to the affair. I am so confident that it will work, that he and I will be happy, that I can't give up. It can work, if we give it a chance. If HE gives it a chance.

I want to have hope... I DO have hope... but at what cost? I have ben hanging in limbo for two weeks now. I can wait, but I don't know if he'll ever decide. I'm starting to feel like I need to make a decision, but I just can't.

Surujen Surujen
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 2, 2009

I hope it turns out the way you want. <br />
<br />
All the best.