Pain On Earth! Why!!!!

I Suffer from pain all my life and the best of it all is most of the time I did not had the best treatment for it because I was not a rich man or come out of a rich home! Always depend on the state hospital for treatment and did not get the best medicine for the pain! I had severe Arthritis all my live and had 19 operations and today I am going for 61 next month! Now I want to ask was all the suffering worth it because I am just as poor as the day I came in live with all this problems! So many people told me to change my life stile! But what do the know about my life stile if they did not live one day of it and are ten time more healthy than me!

I have to drink pills every day to live a painless life! And than on top of it my Docters don't want to give me any pain pills because it will bugger my lever up! So I must depend on over the counter pills! My real docter is my trust in God every day that tomorrow I will be better!

But 18 years ago I went for a fuse'n in my spinal court My back co-laps from Scolioses! They said that I will feel better after the operation but instead I'm of worst than ever! Now the Scolioses is back and I am suffering all over again! I must go and see my Docter next month just to get a new description for the same pills all over again! And to tel her that it don't help she just pull up her shoulders and say Uncle you must remember you are not young anymore and the pills are only going to make you more sick! How must a man coup with that answer how must I gather strength in that words! But I have to pull my face to keep a smile on it every day just to make my wife to not feel sad because of me!

I look every day at the Docters program on TV and see all the good things they do for the same sick people like me in America and if I tel my docter about it all she can do is pull her shoulders and say we are not as up to date as the Americans! All my life I had to live by excuses And listen to people who can only say O how sorry they are for me even my docter has a nice word Shame when I tel her how much pain I suffer the last 6 months.

I told my Paster that I have got hell on earth then all he can say Ag! no you are only have to believe in God and every thing will go away! Gosh don;t I do it every day all my life for God sake what els must I do to get relieve from the pain I have!

Last night I went to bed with pain and this morning I up and feel the pain is buzzy coming back! What sine did My forefathers did to make me suffer like this! I sometimes think if there was a God how can he let me suffer all my life and at the end of it let me suffer in hell as well! This is all things that go through my mind every day! If I talk to my Paster about this the best he can say is leave it in the hands of the God! How long more must I wait for that same hand to take the pain away! My whole life was one big hell and when I sit here today there is nothing me or no one can do about it! Because the law of God have done his way and can not be changed! Amen!
deleted deleted
26-30
Apr 12, 2011