I Want You...

i am a 20 yr old female, i have wanted to have sex with another woman for years now, the few chances i had i blew because i was scared, didn't know what to do, or didn't trust the other person now..i just was not ready. i am now...but i have a bf...who i love, he is my best friend, i get turned on the thought of having a ********* with him...but i honestly don't want to share my first time with a women. he lost his virginity in private, why can't i loose mine that way?...why? because it will destroy him...i know he won't take me back if i leave just to do this..he won't understand, he's very insecure that i will like it better and leave for it...which i don't know...it might happen that way....it's very difficult to find women that would be in to both of us, because we are so incredibly different. but i have had gf's in the past, i ache for female companionship, some of my friends say i'm just bored, but they also don't consider sleeping with the same sex cheating, or are straight, they can't really understand, i love my bf so much, i've hurt him before and i never want to do that again..i couldn't live with myself if i cheated...i know its not fair use his love as a saftey net if i want to go off and sleep with women i should break up with him...and loose everything i have with him...i just can't seem to bring myself to hurt him...or myself with the loss...he's been the only person i ever truly wanted to spend my life with...and i'll miss him...i'll miss his touch and his love and his friendship...for something that may never work for me...for someone else i haven't even met yet...idk how to tell him this or even if i want to..more then likely i will just suffer in silence....i wish i wasn't so inlove and so affraid...idk what to do...or how to make him understand....
gjump gjump
18-21
2 Responses Aug 1, 2010

mty partner loves the idea of another woman with big **** ,she gets really turnt on by this ,so do i .cant wait . any one out there thats willing

I am in the exact same boat, I am 20 years old and I've been with my bf for over 5 years. Neither of us have been with anyone else, but for the last year or two I've found myself becoming very attracted to other females. I know that I want to be with him because I love him very much, and I dont think I could ever tell him how I feel. I wouldn't expect him to let me cheat with another man, so why would I cheat with a woman? And even though the thought of a ********* is very hot, i could never include him in my fantasy because i would feel uncomfortable with him being with another girl - i would feel jealous. I dont know if I should tell him my secret or just keep this unbearable urge to myself...