What Could Have Been :)

My very first crush ever...I was like 8 and there was this boy who lived in my building, I don't recall his name, but I do remember his eyes. They were the deepest, most beautiful, soulful brown eyes I had ever seen and this perfectly blended chocolate colored skin and I was just smitten. He was a couple years my senior and a friend of my older brother, so it was practically impossible for me to talk to him (it didn't help that I was painfully shy either). However the first time I did speak to him I was so freaked out I ran away from him, all he had asked was if I had to play tag w. everyone else. I ran all the way to my secret hiding spot, which I'm not gonna lie wasn't very secret at all, and tried to figure out how to tell him that I liked him. Just telling him 'hey I like you', was totally out of the question because I couldn't just admit it like that, but luckily for me I didn't really have to tell him. I guess being older you can see the signs of someone liking you faster than a younger kid and he came to me the next day and offered me a ride on the handlebars of his bike. I eagerly accepted his ride, and he spent the entire day with me. Needless to say I was too excited, but I still couldn't tell him I liked him. So as the day drew to a close all of the kids in my building and some from across the street were playing 'Mother May I' and I was sitting on the sidelines watching out for cheaters, and he walked right up to me and asked me if I liked him. I thanked God at that moment that I wasn't lighter or I would have been bright red, but I told him no and I tried to run again, but he grabbed me and in my struggle to get away I fell and he pinned me to the floor and told me that he knew and that I should just admit it. Me, being ever defiant, denied it until he let me go. I went home and probably didn't stop blushing for days.
I regret not telling him though because I never saw him again after...
SimplyMisunderstood SimplyMisunderstood
18-21, F
2 Responses May 24, 2012

Thinking too much about Plan B will take you away from Plan A, and that is living now and doing what you have to do!

Well, you have to move on, no point in coming back to grudging over old mistakes if you know nothing can be changed. Live in the present, not the past.

Oh no worries, I'm far past over it, it's just a sweet memory that happens by my mind every now and then :) I'm very much on to bigger and more beautiful things