My Own Stupidity

he does love you you know!

I wish I can flick my fingers to make you more happy without thinking of him and how is he treating you. Don't try hard let it go. Obviously it's time. But you know this. LOL
Do you like scrabbles?

Are you kidding me?

I hear I love you all the time - I just don't see any evidence of it. If he really loved me, he'd go to see a marriage counsellor with me, instead of refusing and doing the small, petty things that he thinks I want. He has never asked about my day, could care less as to why I got a tattoo, stopped going to church, or just what is happening to me - despite the fact that I've told him and he can see.

Many men find the expression of emotion a difficult thing. I know I did and when I was married, even more so. The words you want to hear, were to me back then a part of a soap opera. And, I didn't see our life as that.

I thought, putting up with (her) was enough of a statement. We had a roof, the kids were good and I was working my *** off.

But, I was wrong, in a lot of ways. The biggest was that all of the above were excuses, a justification for my lack of action. Not until after the divorce, after other mistakes did I realize, I didn't love her, that had not, perhaps ever.

I learned much at a time when, I thought I did love another...and I said the words. After more time had passed, I came to the understanding that I didn't love this one either, and the next and so on.

I am still in that place. I have learned to accept myself and to me that is love. The words, that actions, gifts and so on are not a measure of such a profound notion. One day, she will come along and she will see the gift I give myself every day. If see can see this, she will hear the words. If see needs help accepting herself, I will model as I know it.

If she never makes it, I will still have known the love of my life. Acceptance is love.

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Okay, it's not the same as hearing it from him... but maybe it made you smile?

You mean that play boy bunny or my real pictures?

Ok....I'm going to sound naive and cold here, but if I had never heard those words said with passion and meaning in 22 years...I would just slap him silly and go. Yes, I know it's WAY more complex than that, but holy f sister....you are one resilient woman.
*HUG*

TRW, that's not naiive or cold. I am with you--I would have let him have it with both barrels if I hadn't heard it after that long. IWM is truly a very special woman to have been able to stick with it and put up with as much as she has...

Mother--hire an interpreter. I think they are called "Louisville Slugger"... ;P

Hey ladies, maybe some of us guys don't like talking about our feelings (reminds me of the new beer commercials about the can with the vent), but saying "I Love You" isn't like getting in the woods and crying while sharing - it's a pretty simple statement of appreciation.
Another unique thing about saying it - we soon really believe and act on it. I think our minds can't handle the dichotomy (unless you are a total dirt bag). Saying it is important.
I feel for you. I can't remember my wife ever telling me that either. She may have early in our relationship, but I started noticing the gap 13 or 14 years ago, and so have paid attention.
My feeling is that each time you leave someone, you may never see them again. There could be an accident or something, and they are gone forever. I never want my loved ones to wonder how I felt. So I make sure to say it regularly. My teenage daughters may not appreciate it so much now, but I expect they will come back around.

More, in each of us there is a gift. We are given the "parts" of our partner. We have both male and female attributes. Our brain is devided between logic and emotion. It seems then a simple task to "switch" and understand. Most of us, I know I did, feel that to remain on "our side" was being true to what I am.

Until I began to switch, I could not see the whole of me and what was possable. Throughout my marrage of 23 years, we remained on our side. Much later, when I got to the point of my life when I said, as your avatar: "I want more" did I begin to understand.

I went full circle then. Understanding led me to the point where I realized, I had known this all along. I thought I was done then, I was wrong again.

We live in a place full of the distractions we call life, and we forget. So, every day, all day, I try to remember my mistakes, it an effort. Very much like my efforts while I was married to not "mess around", which I never did.

And, by the way, should you ever appear before me in those stockings, I will say, I will do anything, anything at all.

I will prepare.....you know this will kill me don't you, but thats the way it is..oh well.

You "feel" to me as woman I had always wanted to know but never did. What I call a complete female.