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My Nonabortion

This was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I was 19 years old and pregnant by a much older man who didn't want to be with me. He made this perfectly clear every day except for the days where he was trying to convince me to have an abortion and saying that we have a lot of time to have a baby. He made life hell, physically, mentally and emotionally at a time when I needed support. He was abusive physically and verbally. He cheated me on me with his ex and would sneak out while I was in his bed to be with her when he thought I was asleep. She would call me and tell me everything he said to her. Eventually I said **** him and left! Then a couple years later when I am in a healthy relationship, he takes me to court for custody. Aint life a *****.
casing6699 casing6699 22-25 1 Response Jul 12, 2012

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Surely he can't get custody if he hasn't been around, or been paying child support. If he abandoned you - you can say he's instable and will abandon again and that is unhelathy for the child's stability and upbringing. I doubt the court will rule custody to him ever though. Unless the mother is a proven full on drug addict then MAYBE the father has a chance.<br />
Here in my country (south africa) even if the father pays maintenance and the mother is unfit - he has to pay high court fees (like big money) and then he MIGHT get awarded visitation ONLY. and then the mother says when, where and for how long.<br />
The law isn't really in a man's favour with this unfortunately for them. I have seen woman be total ******* and keep the kid away from the father out of spite - and that's wrong. a child needs a father. and trust me they will resent you for keeping them from their father's so be honest about the father situation and arrange a meeting when the child asks (mine asked when she was almost 6 yrs old)