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Being Beat By My Husband

i still dont know how to deal with it or how to get away from it. i always thought this was one of the easiest situations to leave. someone hurts you, not subconciously or subtly but outright physically hurts you you leave them alone and dont look back. but what happens when you love the person to no end that hurts you. thats where i am at and its a very very sad place to be.

goldie25 goldie25 31-35, F 7 Responses Aug 20, 2008

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Goldie, <br />
Stop and think. I hope by this time you have been able to work more out with each other, or you have severed all ties and walked on with your life.<br />
If not and still in this dilemma, seen a physiologist not for him, but for you. Find the reasons inside you that has you doing the yo-yo in your life. Find the answers in you may even help more than you realize. <br />
As far as his bi-polar, I know how that is, I also know that it doesn't sound like just bi-polar he has. Other wise he would be on the meds to control those issues by now. Go get a few more opinions on his behavior. Anger is hard to control if you don't know what the true source is. There can be many underlying causes within the mind that will cause this. Saying it is NOT you, Not the life you have, something inside the brain where it isn't connecting completely.. It is not easy to work with, without professional help.<br />
That I believe is what you Both need.. Seek it, answers are there, you have to choose to see them.

Goldie, why not compromise with yourself? Work on issues with him at. A safe distance, you'd be safe from harm and you wouldn't be giving up on your marriage, I see you don't want to end your marriage but you have to leave first and fend for your health and safety, because the next time he hits you might be the last breath you take, ask my cousin may her soul rest in peace.

everyone that really knows me knows what is going on or what has gone on. before they used to try to convince me to leave and i left more than 15 times. packing all my ****. moving out a week here 4 days there, then i always come back because he is so remorseful and full of promises. i even moved all the way south to a relative and quit my job just to come back and start again with him. i love him to no end. i think part of it is that i know he has issues. he is bipolar. he doesnt admit it but he and i know he has problems, he calls it "anger" though. he just blows up and cant control himself. then the next minute he is ok like nothing happened. i have learned to deal with it better and he has learned to control himself more when he is angry but its still hard.

I agree with the other two comments, goldie25. You don't deserve to be abused... nobody deserves that kind of treatment. I know it hurts, especially when it's someone you love. I've been where you are now, so I know how you feel. If you have a friend you can trust, please tell that person what you've said here.

thanks both of you.

Wow Goldie...there's a name for this...I think it's called Stockholm Syndrome. You should see if this applies to you and find out how to deal with it. The sadness will be temporary if you can bring yourself to move on. You don't deserve it.

Make a plan with people you know and trust to escape this physical abuse. The abuse will only get worse as time goes on.