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It Could Always Be Worse

What I mean is that people handle the same experiences differently. I can not pick one thing.  The horrible deaths of loved ones, rapes, abuse, illnesses, surgeries, bearing children, none of these have hurt me as long or as relentlessly as the words people have used! It might seem crazy but I'd  have to say... other peoples desire to exploit, feed off,  and inflict emotional and/or physical pain has become my most painful life experience. And knowing that others have suffered so much more makes it hurt all the worse. Survivors guilt, an empathetic heart and a tender conscience make life nearly unbearable for me and because of all this I have to wonder why anyone would want to hear another persons most painful life experience. But that's because I've become so paranoid and now my chest always hurts. I probably wrote this in the wrong place. Sorry.

Shelled1 Shelled1 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2008

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Thank you Warrior Mom. I apologize for the late response. I havent been back here in awhile. And I'm very sorry you're going through this. I have 5 kids and I am so grateful all are relatively healthy. However, now I'd have to amend that story because in January of this year, my second daughter lost her beautiful baby boy when he was only 25 days old. What's worse is, it was due to the hospitals refusal to send him home with an apnea monitor. She had been so careful because of his prematurity that none of the rest of our family ever got to hold him. We all grieve his needless death but at the same time we all hurt for each other and are not sad for the baby because we know beyond a doubt he is in Heaven and he really didnt suffer here either.<br />
Having chidren is the most joyous things and the most heartwrenchiing. My daughter is strong and because of her 3 living kids and a supportive husband and family she faces it and didn't fall into crippling depression as I fear I would have.

Shelled: I don't think it's ever wrong to be truely honest. I like the way you were concerned how it might be takin wrong.<br />
Although I have experienced despair, my most painfull emotion currently is the fear of my daughters cancer and losing her.