I want to help people but its hard. I can barely help myself. I have so many issues too. When I go to get some "me" time I end up leaving my friends to suffer alone. I feel so bad. I don't know what to do.
How can I help someone who doesn't even want help?
How can I improve myself when I have to worry about how my friends and family will be? Should I stop worrying?
I wish they can understand that just because I can't talk to them all the time doesn't mean I don't care.
ponycupcake ponycupcake
22-25, F
6 Responses Aug 22, 2014

I think worrying may be counterproductive. Unfortunately it is hard to turn off. Not worrying does not mean to stop caring for others - I think caring for others and helping is important - but one can care and help without focusing on worrying. Worrying is a mental state that can paralyze one into inactivity, increase one's stress level even beyond what the situation calls for because a stressful situation can be blown out of proportion by worry. As I said, I am not good at not worrying myself unfortunately, but I recommend the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhard Tolle. This book's author gives a lot of food for thought about how to improve one's attitude about life for the better. Best!

My dad reads that book too

You have to take care of your needs first so you are healthy and strong enough to then help your friends.Hope that helps.

First things first..I was told that before you start helping others, you must first help yourself. And they should understand that you can't talk to them ALL the time. Second, you should have an awesome "me" time because we should all be at least a little narcissistic sometimes. Treat yourself to dinner or a movie or whatever. Once you're done taking care of yourself then you'll have time to take care of others..I hope this helps :)

This does help (: thank you for the reminder. Ima start doing things to treat myself (:

You want to help people. That is a caring attitude that many individuals do not posses. So, you are way ahead of others.

Helping others while you suffering yourself is a way of improving yourself. Your selfless act make you feel good about yourself. As a result, you become a better person.

People not wanting help, does not mean you should stop helping them. Friends in need of help sometimes are in such distress that they believe it is the end of the world . Nothing will make a difference anymore. Why should they even try. That is why in US, we loose more people to suicide than to murder.

The persistent of a good friend like you help to reduce self harm and total hopelessness. Stay strong, feel great about yourself and just keep trying. Do not stop. You can't save everyone, but you might save one.

Your a people pleaser, and trust me they will bleed you dry!
Your " you" time is really important...
You don't want to burn out...
Ask yourself
Did anyone fall apart well you where gone? If so did they cope?
The answer is probably yes, so don't feel guilty, you are important to.

That's true, but I've had a friend who killed himself. Ever since that I've felt like if I'm not able to help someone they'll be gone like that.

Being self centered is not the answer Fasilly!

Sounds like you're developing a messiah complex. Be there for the ones you love, but don't let them dictate how you live

Yeah, I'm trying to change that