My Mom Is HomelessGrowing up, I was naive and blind to my mom's gambling addictive. Freshmen year of high school my brother and mom moved in with my oldest brother, and he supported us while being a full time student. My mom didn't work, so our only income was my oldest brother's, and help from an uncle. She used to be a nurse, but was unhappy, and materialistic. Her escape, and method for easy cash was gambling. When I was younger I believed she went to work, but now know that was not the case.
By the end of my freshman year she became homeless, after my brother's lease was up, and he moved to a university. I moved in with my dad instead. Mom was a religious person, and instead of trying to get better, she waited for "signs" gambled money her family gave her for food. After a year it became alarming. Talking to her on the phone(she used the public library phone) she told me God didn't want her to go to the soup kitchen, and God wanted her to be homeless because she was being punished. In fact, "being homeless isn't that bad" she stated.
My family and I began to understand what isolation from society can do to a person. She would have irrational conversations with God, or a telepathic one with someone else to escape her loneliness, and cope with isolation. By her second year of homelessness, she was closed off from us. She would not accept help, and often had cases of hallucinations. My uncle still tried to take us out as a family now and then, when she agreed. One day I went to the movies with her. It was obvious she was homeless, and I tried my best to ignore the looks of strangers, and my cousin's wrinkling nose at the smell. She refused to come to any of our places for a shower.
By my junior year of high school, she acquired a homeless bf. When looking at his record we found that he was a rapist, and violent man. My mom would not have it, and still stayed with him. On the streets, she had no one else. I wanted to help her anyway, but little by little she stopped staying in contact with me. Now, my uncle who is a bus driver, sometimes sees her. She doesn't recognize him.. One time he saw her passed out in a parking lot as he was driving, but when he went to her - she was already gone.
On mothers day she actually applied to one of my emails. She didn't want anything to do with her children. On my high school graduation day, I have twelve people there, supporting me, and had a big dinner. I felt like it made up for that one person missing in my life, and was grateful. I will never forget something someone said to me when I told them I wanted to organize a homeless food drive, "Homeless people are creepy, and scary. Every time I see one I shudder."
Every time I see one, I think of my mom. Without a home, she has become mentally lost, and her fate is unknown to me. Homeless people were once important people of society, and they still are. One thing I will never forget, is the last time I saw my mom. My uncle gave her money for food, etc, and we all went to the mall. When we came back she bought me a pair of inexpensive earrings and a necklace. I wanted to decline, but my uncle let me know better. She wanted to be a mom again. It broke my heart that despite having nothing, she still wanted to give me everything.
spaceshiplazer 18-21, F 6 Responses 2 Jul 12, 2011