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I Lost My Mother 2 Years, And 22 Days Ago

I lost my mother who was my favorite "crazy lady" as I affectionately called her.

My mother was like a cat with 9 lives, she had been near death 4 times already and the last time I just knew she would be ok. My brother had her move in with him and he was her primary care giver. So he worked 60 hours a week, took on being a step parent and took care of mother.

The last time I saw my mother, she was in a hospital bed. She was just an animated as ever. She was talking about my brother's upcoming wedding which was less than a few months away and excited about going to Las Vegas. She was happy that she was on the waiting list for a kidney. She had just received a letter telling her so!

Hearing my mother say she would just die if she couldn't make it to my brother's wedding when the Dr's told us she wouldn't be with us past the week was devastating. How could she be dying when she was clearly her talking to us just like any other time?! She didn't realize how sick she was, she wanted to eat something but the Dr's wouldn't allow it. My brother and I talked about having a huge party for all the family to come and visit with her while she was still with us. She could eat something and enjoy her family one last time. However, my brother decided he just couldn't do it. He opted for one more surgery that 4 different specialist told us would not work. I was not for the surgery only because I felt it wasn't want she wanted. We asked her too, she said she wanted to eat. My brother told her if she ate she would die. She says I am so hungry let me eat. Anyway, that's still something that bothers me to this day.

I think my mother sensed the tension or maybe she was just being her crazy old self, I don't know. A Dr asked her if she had done alcohol or drugs. My mom says I'm not going to lie to you I smoked some pot. My brother and I looked at each other like what?! The Dr laughed and said ok when? She said 12-7-1989, her father's death anniversary. My brother and I looked at each other again and laughed.

That was my crazy mother.

She was a single mother who supported myself and my brother until I was 14. She was such a hard worker. She taught me so much and she was the best mother you could ask for. She wasn't perfect but boy was she close and she tried her hardest to be the best mother she could be. That's all anyone could ask for.

That was my mother, my favorite crazy lady. Who sometimes said things that made you ask, did you really just say that? I would call her on it too.

One last thing. My mother loved flowers. She used to always say buy me flowers when I'm alive and can enjoy them. Her last mother's day that she was with us she got a dozen roses from me, my brother and her husband. Her funeral she had more flowers then I had ever seen! My mother loved cardinals and blue jays. I saw a cardinal on the way to the cemetary. I also saw a little butterfly who seemed to be going from each arrangement as if to study them. I thought that's my sign from my mother. I got into the car to drive away from the funeral and the song, Spirit in the Sky Norman Greenbaum. I thought there is my second sign from my mother... I cried again but it is part of life and loving someone.
She taught me alot :)
dfwgirl dfwgirl 36-40, F 8 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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Moms are very special. And obviously, so are you.

I lost my mom right before I turned 16,she was my best friend. Your mom sounds like she was an amazing women. Am sorry for your loss. God bless you.

You are very sweet thank you for your kind words

I lost my father 9.5 years ago. He was buried on his 61st Birthday. I definitely have my moments...as well as miss him terribly. He was my father, my guideance, and a very good friend.

I understand how you feel and our parents will always be with us.


Take care.

As long as you remember her, your mother will live on forever. What a wonderful way to honor her.

Thank you for your kind words :)

Also, let go of what is bothering you. It does no good to hold onto those feelings. The inevitable has come and gone, you have had your time of grief, and now you must forgive for the healing to be complete for you and your family.

I'm not sure you can ever get over losing a parent. I still miss her but it doesn't consume me daily like it did in the beginning.

My Mom passed away in 1994, but I had lost her years before. When my dad died in 1981, my mom had Alzheimer's Disease. We moved her into our house and with the help of my family, we cared for her for 6 years. It got to the point where I could no longer take care of her physically, so I have to move her into a nursing home. The last time that I her was the day before she died - not knowing who I was or who she was, and I hope, not caring.

I never cried at a funeral until i found myself sobbing uncontrollably at my Mom's(kinda like I am now). I realized then that i was not crying for her, but for me! her birthday was July 4th, and for the next 5 years i was very sad and morose on that day - so much so that when our youngest was about 17, she asked my wife why I was so sad. I finally was able to let her go. i keep her in my heart all of the time and I choose to remember the beautiful, caring mother of my youth...I miss her

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you're crying. We have to remember our mother's would want us to be happy! When I remember my mother I remember all the loving times we shared. She was my angel before she passed on.
After my mother's death I found a birthday letter she sent me that told me how proud she was of me. I held that letter in my purse for a long time. I lost it somehow but I won't forget her words of love to me.
Hugs!

Yes, it has been years and I am comfortable with it, but every now and then. I just recently found and old box with My Mom's high school and nursing school records and diplomas. I cherish them. my Mom was always there for big sis and me - she gave us unconditional love which enabled me to do the same for my children. My kids are all grown and gone now with families of there own, so I dont see them often, but i love them always and forever....

I never liked my Dad, I did not even cry when he died. I was happy. I was sad to see my mum cry.
it is good that you had a loving mum who cared for you.
Bless you

Thank you, My mother and I fought but I knew she loved me. I was her little girl and she always called me that. When I would call her she would scream my name, like she hadn't talked to me in years. She was a good Mother.

that is so nice. you make it all come to life.

Thanks chica955, it was a beautiful thing and believe it or not I felt like yes, Mom is in heaven :)

Thank you for sharing your story....believe in all the signs that your Mom was telling you she will "always" be with you, everytime you see a butterfly, a cardinal and hear that song.