I Lost My Mother 2 Years, And 22 Days AgoI lost my mother who was my favorite "crazy lady" as I affectionately called her.
My mother was like a cat with 9 lives, she had been near death 4 times already and the last time I just knew she would be ok. My brother had her move in with him and he was her primary care giver. So he worked 60 hours a week, took on being a step parent and took care of mother.
The last time I saw my mother, she was in a hospital bed. She was just an animated as ever. She was talking about my brother's upcoming wedding which was less than a few months away and excited about going to Las Vegas. She was happy that she was on the waiting list for a kidney. She had just received a letter telling her so!
Hearing my mother say she would just die if she couldn't make it to my brother's wedding when the Dr's told us she wouldn't be with us past the week was devastating. How could she be dying when she was clearly her talking to us just like any other time?! She didn't realize how sick she was, she wanted to eat something but the Dr's wouldn't allow it. My brother and I talked about having a huge party for all the family to come and visit with her while she was still with us. She could eat something and enjoy her family one last time. However, my brother decided he just couldn't do it. He opted for one more surgery that 4 different specialist told us would not work. I was not for the surgery only because I felt it wasn't want she wanted. We asked her too, she said she wanted to eat. My brother told her if she ate she would die. She says I am so hungry let me eat. Anyway, that's still something that bothers me to this day.
I think my mother sensed the tension or maybe she was just being her crazy old self, I don't know. A Dr asked her if she had done alcohol or drugs. My mom says I'm not going to lie to you I smoked some pot. My brother and I looked at each other like what?! The Dr laughed and said ok when? She said 12-7-1989, her father's death anniversary. My brother and I looked at each other again and laughed.
That was my crazy mother.
She was a single mother who supported myself and my brother until I was 14. She was such a hard worker. She taught me so much and she was the best mother you could ask for. She wasn't perfect but boy was she close and she tried her hardest to be the best mother she could be. That's all anyone could ask for.
That was my mother, my favorite crazy lady. Who sometimes said things that made you ask, did you really just say that? I would call her on it too.
One last thing. My mother loved flowers. She used to always say buy me flowers when I'm alive and can enjoy them. Her last mother's day that she was with us she got a dozen roses from me, my brother and her husband. Her funeral she had more flowers then I had ever seen! My mother loved cardinals and blue jays. I saw a cardinal on the way to the cemetary. I also saw a little butterfly who seemed to be going from each arrangement as if to study them. I thought that's my sign from my mother. I got into the car to drive away from the funeral and the song, Spirit in the Sky Norman Greenbaum. I thought there is my second sign from my mother... I cried again but it is part of life and loving someone.
She taught me alot :)
dfwgirl 36-40, F 8 Responses 9 Sep 13, 2012