Ok, I've Had Enough

That's it, EP, I'm putting my foot down.  i can no longer be a part of this website and not say something about the current state of the site.

Which is absolutely terrible.  If this was the state EP was in when i first joined nearly 3 years ago, i would not have joined.  The original purpose of this site was lost a long time ago.  Many people may not know that this site started out being a support site for people dealing with multiple sclerosis or cancer (don't remember exactly which), caring for those with the disease.  a place of SUPPORT.  a safe place to come and talk with others about the trials and hardships about dealing with that disease.  EP expanded into a SUPPORT site for other diseases, and then life experiences.  but the main focus of EP had always been SUPPORT.

EP has lost its focus.  Gone are the days of the majority of the members caring for, supporting, and lifting each other up in times of need.  Gone are the days when the members would report to EP that someone was violating the TOS and the issue would be taken care of almost immediately.  I was there during these times.  EP was the BEST website on the planet.  We were a small, tight knit community who cared about each other and EP cared about us.

Reading the stories in this group, and others, lately has done nothing but make me severely disappointed in what EP has become today.  EP is overrun with trolls, perverts, people who constantly say negative things to others to hurt them...EP NEVER used to be like that at all.  NEVER.  I have to be very careful now where i go on EP because who knows what my young daughter will see when she walks by??  The amount of avatars that are ILLEGAL and violate the TOS are astounding.  you tell us to report and flag...we do...nothing happens.  NOTHING HAPPENS!   WTF EP?  Where the HELL are you?  are you not listening to us anymore?!  When did WE stop being so important?!  WE, the members, make up this website.  WE support this website....where are YOU?  What are YOU doing for US now?

Sure, i know, you make improvements to the site, that we really don't need, or want, and are fine without.  Where are you where it really counts?  WE don't give a rat's *** about making the site LOOK good.  if it works, we're ok with it.  WE would be WAY more impressed if you did something about the amount of trolls that are on the site...the amount of nude/indecent pictures that are used for avatars.  it's fine if they put those in the private album, that's what it's for...it's NOT for putting out there for everyone to see.  NOT everyone wants to see it.  There are other websites for that stuff...it shouldn't be here.  That's real nice EP...starting out as a support site for those dealing with cancer...and ending up as this...a place full of negativity, hatred, drama, sex, inappropriate sexual advances toward the younger members...the young members that YOU allow to be here!  seriously, like a sexual predator can not pose themselves as a 14yr old kid.  THAT sickens me to death!  EP used to have higher standards than this.  Where did they go?

i think you have gotten a little too big for your britches EP.  Making the site bigger, publicizing it, making to where ANYone can just hop on here and do/say/treat others how they want....making the MONEY.  EP was better when it was smaller and everyone genuinely cared about each other.  If there were fakes, they'd get called out, and taken care of quickly.  NOW, there are so many no one knows who to trust on this site anymore.  YOU have made us all jaded in trusting anyone we come across on this site by your lack of control over this site.  you're letting the fakes, the trolls, and the pervs run this site, not you.

Yes, everyone should be able to freely express themselves.  but it should be done respectfully if one disagrees, not full of hatred and accusations and NAME CALLING.  seriously EP?  you're tolerating this ****?!  there should be rules.  BETTER rules...rules that are ENFORCED.  Better yet, let US do it.  YOU don't seem to be taking the time listen and care about the stuff that's going on on this site, so let us do it.   I know of SEVERAL EP members who would be up to the task of cleaning up this website and making into something to be proud to be a member of.

A mere suggestion, would be to have a completely different site for the ADULT members.  Maybe a button on the homepage that directs you to the more adult content of the website.  that way...if one doesn't want to see it, or isn't OLD enough to viewing it, they don't have to.

it saddens, disappoints and ****** me off that EP is what it is today.  In the beginning, i could spend HOURS here, commenting on stories, back and forth, full of fun, great people.  and those same people would turn around and support you to the fullest if things got bad.  NOW, it's almost like no one cares...every tries to one up each other with their 'whoa is me' story...which may not even be true!  no one cares...everyone is so cynical and quick to judge instead of SUPPORT.  There are a few members still out there who are genuine and care...emphasis on FEW.  We are a minority now...often sticking our own small circle of friends because the only thing that is out there on the rest of EP is NOT worth it.

As stated before, i have been here nearly 3 years now.  I have seen MANY changes since then...some have been good, some not so good, and some completely unnecessary.  It saddens me as well that many of the friends i started out with in the beginning are long gone...either deleting their profiles or simply haven't logged in for quite sometime.  Drama being the cause for laying low for some, HARASSMENT, others just moving on. 

EP...we have enough drama in our REAL lives.  We want to come to EP to unwind, be around friends.  We want to know that SOME one cares about us.  The main reason I come to EP is because writing is a great source of therapy for me...getting it all out there to view on 'paper'...it helps.  PLUS...getting feedback from friends is a tremendous advantage.  I don't have much of that in my REAL life.  I would hate to see the value of that decrease as EP continues to grow and allow unsavory members to continue to be a part of what USED to be such a caring, supportive community.

I, for one (and i know i'm not the ONLY one), have had ENOUGH of this!  It's time for EP to take back control of this website.  LISTEN TO WHAT WE ARE SAYING!!  AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

KinkyFlower KinkyFlower
31-35, F
43 Responses Aug 7, 2010

lol it's completely fine flask, i AM wrong every once in a while :P

thanks guys :)<br />
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you may be right flask...my point really being it started out for support for people struggling/going through dealing with a specific disease...and then branched out for other diseases, then developed into a much bigger site than its original intention :)

Wow....See, I didn't even know this site had originally been intended as support for those struggling with cancer! Now it's like a mild version of myspace....or wait, maybe not mild! Myspace doesn't allow any nude profile pics!!! That does really gross me out...browsing through stories and then *wham* some nasty dudes junk for the world to see:P I'd love for this site to clean things up a little bit just like you've stated!<br />
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This was VERY well written and I agree with every word you said! I hope this gets through to someone out there and changes start being made for the betterment of EP and all of it's users! Thanks for posting this and allowing your voice to be heard!!

EPArsineh, I can appreciate your response. And I thank you for your dedication to EP Service. You were the only one to respond and try to help in my personal situation and I can see this is a BIG job. I applaud you, and thank you for all your efforts. ~

Thanks for posting this story and sharing your concern with us. Many of you have also added valuable comments and I want to do my best to address many of the points that came up.<br />
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We've seen the EP community grow significantly in the last few years. A lot of the members on the site are here for the right reasons but there are certainly those that abuse the site. <br />
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We are a small staff and can't possibly review every single post that is made. I think many of you can agree that fact that EP gives it's members the ability to express themselves instantly without having to wait for each and every post to be approved by staff, makes it far more enjoyable and interesting. <br />
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We rely on the community to help bring inappropriate posts and misbehaving members to our attention. EP is home to many of our members and I'm confident that you care about keeping EP a positive space as much as we, the staff do. <br />
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We do have mature/adult groups on EP but as long as they don't violate EP terms they're welcome. We have adult filters in place for those who don't care for mature material. We have extensive filters in place for minors on the site, much of this is behind the scenes. We also have blocking tools that allow you to block specific members which will prevent him/her from interacting with you. Within this thread it was mention that there maybe a bug with the blocking tool and we'll be investigating this. <br />
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We do our best to let members express themselves freely, but personal attacks and inappropriate behavior that goes against our community guidelines, isn't tolerated.<br />
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When you flag content EP staff receives an email about the behavior. Though we can't respond to each email individually we do certainly investigate each complaint.<br />
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EP enforces a 3 strikes your out policy for some cases. For example if a member post nudity on a public area of the site, which is a violation of EP community guidelines, it will be removed and the member will be warned about EP community guidelines but if this behavior is repeated they will have their account removed.<br />
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Depending on the seriousness of the violation we will suspend, remove, or permanently ban a member. In some serious situations we have contacted authorities.<br />
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We do ask every member of the community to flag inappropriate content or behavior on the site, but we also have EP Volunteers who have helped with these efforts and we are currently working on more ways and tools to quickly address misconduct on the site.<br />
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No system is perfect, though one of the most valuable community tools we have is flagging. It does help and because of community flagging we are able to address hundreds of concerns a day.<br />
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Please continue to flag as we work to come up with ways to improve flagging and also work to introduce other useful tools.

i agree Breiks...the rules are there, but not being enforced nearly as much as they should be!<br />
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Thanks Reece *hugs* i stopped writing a lot of stories a long time ago for this reason. people just want to bring other people down further instead of help support and bring them up<br />
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i agree destiney24...there are still wonderful people here, but i, too, feel like EP is being taken over by people who are not here for the right reasons

I hate to say it KF, but I agree with what you are saying 100%..... I miss the old EP ALOT. I used to be happy here, making friends and expressing myself, now I worry about the ppl I DO care about...

EP just needs to enforce their rules more, period. <br />
They definitely need more staff members to monitor what happens here. There is obviously so much going on that is wrong, but it's like a tidal wave and we're standing here with little sandbags in our hands trying to stop it.

BrokeHeart...i do have to give EP some credit here...they DO post in their TOS that the site is public and content CAN be picked up through the world wide web. granted, not everyone takes the time to view the TOS or privacy policy, but it is stated there.<br />
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i, too, hope when the kids go back to school, things will get a little better :) i DO wish EP would enforce the rule where they have to have parent's permission to be on EP if you're under 18 a little bit more. i'm not sure what they do now to ensure that, but...i don't think it's working lol

Well I hope someone is truly listening. I so enjoy this site -- but it is straight lunatics now. The questions are beyond ridiculous -- a lot of avatars are obscene and obviously no one is screening, and they know those should be private -- the age range has dropped to maybe even 12 -- scary. And some perverts you can even recognize, they are so bold -- eww. Not to forget, I had NO idea my stories would appear on the worldwide web if you just googled my id name -- not cool at all. Personal sharing with the EP Experience Family. Not the worldwide Internet! I think that should have been made known when joining. It has shut me down from posting my true feelings or thoughts. But ever hopeful, I will stick around and see if it's just summer kids going wild with free rein these last 2 months. At least thru September. I would hate to lose a good thing. But I no longer feel safe or cared for...

sleepless and m2bf....if you two have something to say to each other, please do not continue to do so within this story thread. I am trying to gather support for EP to listen and take some action and follow up as we flag and report. I do not want the original content of this story to get lost because of other issues with other members. any more comments directed to each other will simply be deleted. thanks :)<br />
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Thank you Breiks and Shyirishrose for your continued support!!<br />
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Smilingfaces...i hope you didn't the impression from me that the perverts are the trolls, as that is not my intention at all. to me, they are two separate categories, that yes, some members do fall into both. i do more blocking these days than i used to. but before...i didn't have to. it's almost a necessity now. it's there and we should practice using it more as you said, for offense and defense.

Troll =/= someone with sexual experiences.<br />
Troll = someone who purposely posts rude/hateful/offensive things with the intent of getting an emotional, angry response out of other people. <br />
Speaking personally of myself here, trolls are what I really want to help get rid of on EP. I will also flag inappropriate profile pictures because they are against EP's rules. Sex is a part of life, and I have no problem with those who share those kinds of experiences on EP, as long as they do it in accordance with EP's guidelines---especially the part about what is and is not ok for profile pictures, because that IS public and WILL show up if they post, for example, in Q&A in any general, non-mature category. I'm preaching to the choir in this thread, of course, so please no one take offense---none was meant.

Thank you then Sleepless42 and forgive my narcissism to the coincidence of your postings. I am still pondering why you would imply that my post on your story was intrusive or rude, but we're about to part ways so other than making sure the fine folk in this thread know I didn't abuse you...<br />
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Recently, my groups have suffered heavy abuse at the hands of folks who "want to clean up EP", it's quite understandable that my wife and I were appalled to see this thread going that way. We've been made to feel a bit subhuman of late here and in our eyes have seen the wonderful side of EP being ruined. <br />
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I'd delete my comments and withdraw from this thread. It has become rather confusing and has filled with very unfair implications and innuendo. I too am an oldbie. I don't agree with jp5040 and I am not the monetarily supporting this site ********* he is talking about though it is difficult to see that since he is referring to me in the same paragraph and implies it rather pointedly. I do not read that trash and when my circle has stories that go there, I block those "friends" and sweep it under the carpet - cleaning up EP isn't my job. I'll leave you folks to plot your clean up effort. Be careful not to turn yourselves into the very thing you complain about. To each their own.

The implication here is that the "perverts" are the trolls and that the people who have joined sexually oriented groups are condoning and encouraging abhorrent behavior. I, along with many others here, am a happily married woman with normal sexual tendencies and behavior and I happened to be married to a man who has quite a past but he has overcome his history but still has some desires that are quite legal and acceptable to some and not acceptable to others but that is OUR business and not out there for others to judge, so we block them to avoid imposing and exposing ourselves to them. <br />
My experience with trolls is quite different from what others have implied or stated. The "trolls" that I have run across are the "nice" and "sweet" yet judgemental and condemning ones who have accused me of having sex with animals and my children and being one of the most evil and vile sorts to walk the earth. I have been told by "Super S's" (People who are strong, super, sensible, sexual, sweet, sensational, etc) that I am quite nice and wonderful and told by the ones with G rated experiences that I am scum. I would feel like Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde if I cared. The point is that there are bullies and tyrants from all walks of life so don't discredit me just because I have a sexual side that I am proud of when I have done nothing illegal and do not plan or fantasize about anything illegal, but if I do, am I not allowed to write about it? Guess I better stop threatening hubby about Bobbitt doing it wrong! Oops, sex alert.

lol, bf is best friend!!! I am not saying this for him but from my perspective.Blocking is not just a defense but also an offense. If I feel like my stuff will offend someone and I do not wish for them to see who I am or what I have written, I will go ahead and block them that way I know that I will not drift into their world but if I do, then they do not have to be exposed to my thoughts and experiences and comments. It is not done in anger or hatred but as ep says when you block someone "you don't have to like everybody" and I know that everybody does not like me. I am just closing a door that I can always open later. I do not understand why people get so offended about being blocked unless they really want to be in a place where they are not wanted. Sounds masochistic to me... I bet there is a group for that!

Wasn't random and I don't understand your anger for my respectfully stated and slight divergence of opinion. married to best friend if you don't mind btw. I did pop over to your profile to check out just how much more of an oldbie you are than I, since you implied I don't have a place to stand due to my short lifespan here. I left a nice comment for you on a story with which I agreed with you... why would you imply otherwise here?

I totaly agree with you! Im here to offer my support and friendship and maybe get sum support during sum of my hard times. Hopefuly the negative people will go somewhere else.

The problem with texting, net, blogs, and all the other things that involve only the written word is that you cannot hear the tone in which it was said. You can read the words in any of these comments with hate, anger, or merely calmly stating a fact or opinion. People can disagree without being angry. This is still a support site and folks can go to the rooms they wish to either get or give support. This is a good example of it. When someone comes in and presents an opposing viewpoint, you can assess if they are on task, swearing, insulting or degrading someone and delete the comment (the responsibility and the right of the moderator/writer of the story). If that is not happening but you feel they are angry and baiting for a fight, then the moderator can either douse the flame with their words, ask the commenter if they meant it in hate or anger, and/or, once again delete the comment. We hold a small staff responsible for an enormous task. Even following up on flagging is a dauntless task. I think that we should reserve flagging for the avatars and things that we cannot do ourselves and as moderators/writers, delete comments that are off task or insulting, and as commenters, request that the moderator take care of inappropriate comments. If that does not work, don't go back to that story. That would ease up the ep staff to stay on the multitude of tasks that they have.

So cute that I blocked you moments before your comment and had to uncover it to see your POV. I wish I had taken my own advice and left it hidden.<br />
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I think everyone would do much better if they used the block function at the first sign of a troll. I have blocked some fine people but so what? Delete their comments and move on. The real problem is that human nature asks us to try to teach each other how to behave... so a troll posts a rude remark, incites the emotional response and ruins the thread. It happens in the political threads all the time - it is an actual stated strategy of our Secretary of State's hero Saul Alinski.

Looks dubiously at <strong>JustAVolunteer</strong>... Flag inappropriate logos all you want - they are public. Inappropriate content is a very tricky area. EP says child abuse and animal abuse is inappropriate, I haven't had any trouble avoiding posters of this content, I don't understand how you have had these problems. The only infiltration of filthy child abuse and animal **** my wife and I have suffered here was when a "do gooder" sent us a graphic email to make disgusting accusations that we participate in activities we find abhorent. Trolls as defined by Wikipedia are "<i>posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion</i>” It seems you are asking the folks here to become trolls for the "benefit" of cleaning the place up.<br />
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EP asks us to create an environment to share ourselves without fear of judgment and disgrace. I don't see how your blacklist will foster that idea.

Slash, I'm sorry, but I don't see many trolls in the "real world". Most online trolls wouldn't have the guts to say half the junk they say on here to someone's face in person! Yes, drama and stalking and other junk happens in "real life," but that does NOT make it okay for it to happen on EP. Trolling, stalking, harassing is not what EP is about, and EP used to not be this way. We want to see EP restored to its former glory.

Welcome to the real world! no where is safe, the world is corrupt, and if you think your gonna find sanctuary on a web site that ANYBODY can join, you better think again. get a diary.

Excellent story! I hope they listen once and for all. If they are making some more $ now, then they should be able to hire, or get volunteer, moderators. That's the only way to clean this place up!

Awesome idea JustAVolunteer! I've been trying to do that for a few months now, but it's never taken off.

Hello yall! I am just like you, a fed up EP member. I love this place too much to leave it in the hands of perverts and trolls, and sadly, the admin that seems to care about this place much less than the users. Instead of waiting for EP staff to give us the opportunity (God knows that would take ages to happen at their pace) I propose we band together and 'volunteer' our time together as a group, where it really counts. I have created this account and my plans are to send out greeting cards on a daily basis with links to stuff that should be flagged, and I personally think obscene avatars should be our first focus. I think if we flag each offending link as a large group this will get things off the site quickly. I also ask that you also send any inappropriate content you come across in link form to this account in PM and I will add it to the daily sendout. So if you are interested, add me to your circle and I will start sending the links to you as well!

Yes GS, there does need to be some action taking place here! We are in DIRE need of a positive aura!

the obscene avatars are my main concern with that. i generally stay away from that, but when someone requests to add me as a friend, and i click their username to go to their profile, i don't want her to around if their content is mainly adult.<br />
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i agree...reporting and blocking and flagging only do so much. it's EP's job to follow up...and i feel they have been severely lacking in that area for quite some time now. EP used to be SERIOUS about punishing users who were breaking the rules. now it seems like 'oh we don't want to offend anyone, everyone has a right to be here' blah blah blah. they do, IF they follow the rules!<br />
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I think EP should designate a few EP members to more involved in that part. WE take it seriously and are here day in and day out, and know who's here for real and who's not. I'm sure there would be several volunteers to actually MAKE something happen in regards to deleting offensive material, users, avatars....as is stated in the TOS.

They're giving too many little slaps on the wrist for pretty serious rule-breakings, definitely. Rules and statements that are not enforced are pointless to have in the first place.

If you have the mature filter on, which is the default option I believe, then you must click to show a story that is marked as mature and that filters. This cuts down the risk of what children passing by the computer will see. It does not guarantee not to show anything because some things that should be marked as mature are not, but I think that you may be able to mark them as mature or you could send a nice message to them saying please mark this as mature. People forget that they can catch more flies with honey... There is no way to get rid of the expletives though and my children can see symbols that are substituted for swear words from further away than the actual words!!

I'm not saying the solutions are perfect but … members could start the process by using the thumbs down and the blocking options more readily. When enough people thumbs down - EP makes the offensive comments disappear. When a child has annoyed you, you can block them. There are adult filters that can readily block out adult profiles and stories. All of my stories are marked Adult (even the ones I post in this group) <br />
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If you want to clean up EP, then you must start with simple and clear plan. There are 10 people serving 5 million stories. The point of being ashamed when your daughter slips by is clear and quite fair. Logo censorship seems reasonable to me to some degree and may be well worth the limited time and resources available to EP.<br />
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As for content... well I figure that I never get stuck in the “I Drink Coffee all Day” Group... I'm not sure how folks are getting stuck in “I have too many fantasies regarding my wife” EP billed itself as a support site (anonymous) so it's only natural that folks would seek it out for support in aspects of their lives that they have no live person anywhere that they might connect with..

I hope EP will see how many of us are feeling this way now, and hopefully all our voices together will be loud enough for something to be done about it. Not just little things, but big things, important things. It's time for something MORE to be done.

thanks Hippie :) i hope it gets restored too!<br />
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Brieks~~Thanks for your support! reading your story, and countless others that are similar is what inspired me to write this. i, as well as a few others, have been members for almost 3 years or more...i'm hoping EP will take that into consideration when viewing this story...as i hope they do. <br />
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We're NOT kidding around! We want our EP back!!

i know you do LK :) that's one of the reasons i value our friendship so much *hugs* i just wish EP would be more diligent about keeping the pervs under control and actually following the rules of the TOS themselves. We tell them over and over and over again about offending members, but...nothing gets done. it's very discouraging.

*In strong support of your story*<br />
It needed to be said. I'm glad you wrote it. Now I hope EP listens....not just hears and reads, but TRULY LISTENS to what their members are saying. There are HUGE problems here now, problems that used to not BE here. And I know because of myself and the others I see posting here, especially in this group, that there are members who are willing to fight for what EP is supposed to be! ...But some are giving up because we do what we're told to do, but we see no results.

This post is the perfect example of the anger that exist on this site. Hopefully EP reads these stories & does things to restore this site back to it's former glory.

This<br />
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Yes! I completely agree. I think this has come quite a bit off course from what it originally was. But I dont think there is anyway to get rid of all the perverts and such now. It really sucks! It says something about society really. You can build a nice clean building with a pure purpose behind it but it will still rot and decay and end up painted up and desecrated over time. The best we can do is just try to support people who need it. I know I offer serious advice here in between my crazy ramblings!

Thanks Facingmyfears! i hope they do too!

Snowy~~i think this the best story i've ever written here lol<br />
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It just angered me to the point of tears to keep reading the same stuff over and over again, and not seeing any results from EP....that's NOT how it used to be at all!! I'm beginning to think EP has failed us :(

This is by far the BEST post I have read ALL week Kinky!! <br />
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Thanks for putting it out here. The way it used to be was amazing !

i agree with that last statement 110% Sleepless.<br />
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if they think it's great now, they should've seen it before.<br />
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i think i remember that. as well as other members who were deleted and banned from returning b/c they were violating the TOS. Where are EP's standards now? in the freaking gutter? seriously.<br />
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i think we should take over EP for a month :) we'll show them how it's done lol

Thanks Snowy and LP!<br />
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There is something to be said when a website ends up being the ONLY source of drama in your life! You should able to be here and FEEL SAFE! not threatened or isolated or picked on. i hope EP opens their eyes soon!

Well said!! Damn girl!! *stands with Kinky*

AMEN Kinkyflower!! <br />
Very well written and very true. This place is not what it used to be at all. I remember when we were here before , the bantering back and forth was all in fun. No one deliberately hurt another member nor speak of them in a negative way. <br />
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We were allowed the freedom to express ourselves without JUDGEMENT! <br />
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The drama here is unbelievable. Being in the middle of a ton of it recently myself it has been nothing but disgusting. The TOS used to be you couldnt even mention names however people even put that out there now and nothing was done. There tear other members to shreds and justify it by feeling they 'need to protect themselves'. <br />
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It's sad and it is so far from what it used to be.