Why Did They Become A Fan? I Would Like To Know.

When someone initiates a fan request, it would be good as part of the process, for there to be a reason box, that sends a generated message to the if a story impressed them or they had similar interests or they liked their avatar, for example.

I don't normally accept requests, because I don't have a clue who they are or why they want to be a friend, it they are just adding names as fast as EP can generate new members or if they want a cybers*x buddy.

For example:
Imathinkin wants to be your fan, because they read your story "I have Triplets" from the EP group "I come from a large family" and made the following comment "I gave birth to two sets of twins. I can relate. It's a lot of work, but enjoyable."


imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 26 Responses Oct 4, 2010

Your Response


i think EP is no different than real life..Just because someone contacts you and wants to be a friend, doesn't mean you don't find out about them on your is not the friends responsibility to check you out. According to their system, they already have, and they like what they see. You however, may have a higher standard, based on similar interests, and ethics. So it is up to you to decide if you are also interested in them.

Does not look like EP has changed much in this area, but I as you wish they would.

Okay so I started asking again. How about some of you do it too...ask why they became a fan. The person today said...because you are a human. Oh.....kay.

Serve...there seems to be a disconnect here.

When I said I wanted to know why someone decided to become a fan, I was told that I should just write back and ask. Maybe I should have used the word "circle" as in, they add me, and I reciprocate, so now we are all friends in our own little circle.

But, I think you already knew what I meant. ;)

I don't have any red dot paranoia. But, I would like to know the reason why someone is adding me.

Me too.
Would be helpful if one could see where they got your ep name from and what they read that made them want to be in your circle.
I normally do a check on their proffile and stories and blogs and age and gender etc and especially what they are interested in.

@ima -- your terminology is confusing. People don't "ask" to become your fans -- they simply become a fan by adding you to their circle. There is nothing for you to approve, nothing for you to do at all unless you want to add them and thus make them your friend or follow the "block/unblock" trick to remove yourself from their circle.

Knotty is right -- if you don't like the person, don't add them to your circle. If you have an issue with them being a pedo or other abuser, flag and then block. If you don't want to be in their circle, block then unblock.

Side note: All this red dot paranoia -- that because we have an interest in adult topics, we're all slobbering, lecherous perverts who see everyone as a potential sex partner and are incapable of being either respectful or carrying on a conversation on a topic other than adult themes -- is ridiculous.

That's a good suggestion, a check box, with a comments text box. It shouldn't be a requirement, but an option.

Telling someone to "just write back and ask" seems logical, but it's not productive or fair. If someone wants to become a fan, they should say why, but there is no process now for them to do that other than for them to email at the same time, but I can see why some might be embarrassed or feel awkward. For example, if you send someone a gesture, you wouldn't feel a sense of rejection if you didn't get a return gesture back. But, if you write to someone, and they don't write back, it feels a bit awkward.

Also, when in the past I have asked, they often say "it was something you wrote", but can't recall what specifically...too much time has passed and they have slept since then, read lots of stories and sent lots of fan requests.

I've asked about this several times in the last year. I also want to see a "reason" for asking to be my fan/friend. Even a check box list with a comments text box would be good. But I also have often asked why, and sometimes the answers made no sense...

By being to friendly to whoever :-D

People are hardly going to experience a feeling of belonging, comradeship, bonhomie, call it what you will, if asked to sit a bloody exam before making any friends on here. Retention?? Why bother registering in the first place!

Mind you. Another argument youi will find espoused on here is that EP has already outgrown itself. Not like it used to be in the old days, etc etc. So for some, retaining even more users would just spoil it. Apparently.

Well, making it a premium option would be an oversight. Experts agree that retention is necessary for growth of an organization, and the cost in loss is high thereof, and if people don't feel a sense of belonging, if relationships don't form, people leave.

I'm usually not a negative Nelly but come on now: Yahoo chat had that option a long time ago, Facebook has it if I remember well. This is just plain oversight. It's as easy to fan as it is to block. Beside, nothing forces anyone to add back and you don't get to see their updates if you don't, they just see yours, period.

Facebook's privacy options are often criticized but they're still a lot better than EP's. I suspect the note option may come as a Premium benefit though if enough people feel like it's worth paying for it.

Good idea Ima.

Yes Opium, I have a daughter the same age. It's disturbing.

EPA, thanks. A "notes" option is good, but it should ask something to direct them, like XYZ would like to be your fan, because ______. A reference to a story or group would be far better.

If you read my comments I already addressed that. Writing back is not effective. When the reply to my mail or notes is "something I read"....what does that accomplish? Nothing really. :)

Thanks for this suggestion. We'll talk to our engineers about adding an option to type in 'notes' when you make a fan request.

In the meantime, if you want to know why a member fanned you, just send them a PM and ask. It's a great way to start a conversation.

The same sicko added me Opiumskore. I managed to flag them three times, they also had ****** and animal abuse among their groups.

I love it when Opiumskore points them out to me...give them my address babe..I'll talk with them..*LMAO*

I don't add any more - mainly because of the hoops I am expected to jump through sometimes to explain to the recipients satisfaction that it was a genuine thing to do.

So, yeah go this route if you want. It won't change the way I use the site. I still won't be adding anyone new to my circle!

Personally I believe pedophiles are only good for one thing TARGET PRACTICE!!!!

That's sad. Another good point just never know why someone sends a request. It's important to know. We deserve to know who we let into our home or if we should unlock the door.

That's good underconstruction.

Also, it's worth noting that it might be a day or two before I see their fan request, and by then they forgot what story they read, or perhaps even who you are!

That is a good idea. That is the way I do it. When I read interesting stories from a poster I contact him/her directly and ask If I can add them to my circle and explain the reasons why. I believe that is the polite way to go and I would appreciate the same in return.

Just because I don't accept a fan request, does not mean I don't want them as a fan either. I just may be busy doing other things and get distracted. If I accept someone as a fan, I want it to mean something.

GREAT idea. I also never add people if there is no common ground. I'm not here for popularity, I'm here for connection. And most of the time, I will ignore a request. I agree with you that it feels like interrogation - Why did you add me? - just sounds so abrupt and almost rude. So it's easier to leave them there and see if they try to talk to you later. (I have a feeling most of mine are from the "suggestions for you" box. Which I HATE.)

Marji - if you have fans you don't want, go to their page, block them, and immediately unblock them. It removes you from their circle, but leaves the door open to finding ommon ground later. : )

Thanks Walkin and Hoss :)

Yes, DJK, but checking is not enough. If they are a red-dotter for example, is it right to assume they just want a willing partner; maybe not, but if I am not looking for that, I will side with caution and won't accept. Should I hunt for a comment, when a simple input box would do the trick?

I have written, and they always just say, I liked what you wrote. Too vague. Anything questioning from me beyond that would sound like borderline interrogation I think, and would be more likely to PUSH someone away, than to welcome them in. And there are some I would rather not welcome with open arms.

Great Idea, now if it could just get done. Thank's

I agree it would be great to have a box in the fan request to tell them why I am becoming a fan!

Good idea!