Does Anyone Feel Me Here?

i feel so weird. a happy family sitting in the kitchen....and here i am. alone, trying to express my emotions anonymously to strangers. does anyone else feel trapped where they should feel the most loved and welcome? i feel like a stranger here. all i want to do is run. as far as i can go. and i never wanna look back at them.
shadysecrets shadysecrets
1 Response May 5, 2011

I have a son about your age and as I read this I remember one day that how you describe being that supposed Rockwell family moment and I wasn't getting it. I was so not there. I wanted to be. I felt bad because I was so detached for the reality this is where I was. Questioning myself what is wrong with me. It is bugging me alot. I can relate to the just wanting to run from the whole scene. Is it just me? Why do I feel like this? I'm too old to be going crazy, I know better. We were my sister in laws in Lubbock a couple hours drive from home. We had gone there with my kids Grandmother and I usually drive in a separate vehicle. I'm not married to my kid's mom but we have been together forever it seems. I get along better with her sister so I enjoy seeing her and her family. I love the whole family thing but it hit me like a ton of bricks not being able to get out of there. I mean trapped and feeling so out of place. I really wanted to walk out the door and hop a flight to Las Vegas and never be or heard from again.