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Losing Hope

Yes, I do want to improve the Experience Project.

I want my son, the computer engineer, not to be lecturing me about EP and what a bad reputation it has acquired. "Look it up, mom. You'll see". I did. He was right. "Google any disgusting topic and see what comes up, mom." I did. He was right.

I want to log on and not have fan messages from men with their genitals on display in their avatar photos, even though my profile is set to not receive mail from these type of profiles.

I want to read stories from my circle list that are fun or uplifting or poignant like they used to be. Now so many of the stories are about removing the **** that has taken over this site.These stories are necessary to get the staff's attention, but I don't want there to be a reason for those stories to even exist.

I don't want to read comments from EP staff telling us that nudity is not permitted in public areas of EP. It simply sounds ludicrous! It IS here. EVERYWHERE.

I don't want to be told to flag the offenders for fast action from staff. I have flagged some nude avatars and stories with nude photos and photos of sex acts in them over and over, sometimes for days or weeks. They remain. Flagging is not working. The flagrant posting of nudity is getting worse and worse every day.

I want to improve the Experience Project, but I have no effective tools that actually work at my disposal. Flagging is not really effective even when items are removed. For every group or nude profile photo that is removed, many more pop up to replace them......yes, I know. It is not permitted. Please don't say that again. I'm begging you.

I want to improve the Experience Project, but I can't. Only Experience Project can do that.

Maybe it's too late. The growth of ****, nudity, and illegal groups on this site has been exponential. The flood gates have been opened. Anyone googling any unsavory topic can easily end up here.

I want to improve the Experience Project. We have been begging for a clean-up for years now.

I am losing hope.








datura datura 56-60, F 50 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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I "understand" How the Presence of Evil CAN seem overwhelming 'To The Senses'. Isn't THAT "part of Prophecy" ? How Evil Will wax WORSE AND WORSE ??
The ONLY Solution (I Know) IS to Put Your Life IN Gods' Hands. HOW else "can" there be Hope (which you claim you're Losing) ?
Don't "stress out" TOO Much over the Evil. Flag "occassionally"; and Try to Believe EP DOES care. Otherwise.... hope Will disappear. (just my advice)

I totally agree. They broke the stuff that actually made it useful - like blog notifications. ARRGGHH!! Many days I am not even sure why I am here.

I know.Me too.

You can build your own social network at Ning if you are serious about doing that sort of thing

I'll check it out, OC...thanks! Unless you want to do it for us :-)

Sorry, I already have far more obligations than I can handle.

Thanks EatdrinknBmerry.
Great Destry!!! I can't honestly see me doing it personally, but maybe someone will help us...

I blocked someone yesterday,he started sending me posts in my mail, he was not in my circle but I don't believe in closing access to people who are not in my circle,some do genuinely want to know you and befriend you,but that was another story,I was shocked by what I discovered, reading one of is "stories" I will not repeat it here.If I flagged it it would I am sure have remained behind "the pink notice" giving the choice to read or not read,this disgusting story had not been flagged,would you believe! no pink notice! And there were loads of answers,I read one and that was enough,there are some real weirdos out there! I know the world is changing but there are limits,cleaning up EP will be a huge challange but we must get the cooperation from EP for it to happen and they certainly must start seriously monitoring these things before too many good people get put off and leave and some of us get traumatised,EP has have a moral responsibility to its members.Take care.

Well said, Berangere!

Datura I never like to give up or lose hope, but cleaning up EP at this stage would indeed be a huge challenge. Society is a changing. I am a little older than you, but remember when Catcher in the Rye was banned in many libraries. I frequent the library a lot, and the books they handle today are so much more explicit and make no pretense of being anything other than a sex novel, and there are thousands of them.
I watch very little television, but when I go to visit my 4 granddaughters they have a filter on the television and they tell me how short some of the shows have become.
I am sure EP could put a similar filter on here, but how many members would they lose? Like so many things it is a numbers game; and they need/want those numbers.
I came to EP to encourage and uplift as much as possible. I have gotten side tracked at times as some of the people in my circle have. Recently I felt I had to remove one that seemed to want to see how far she could push the vulgar language in daily messages to me. If it had been sensual we would still be friends maybe good friends. Who would draw the line?
I am certainly no saint and have been tempted to bring one or two of EP’s sirens into my circle, so I could see the pictures they promise. I have been able to resist only because I think that would impede my ability to help others. Look at some of the sirens number of friends though; some are over a thousand. Unfortunately I think we are in the minority.
I thank you so much though, for bringing it to light.

I think we do need to weed out some of the disgusting topics basically sex. But sharing that I drink blood was helpful to me as a person don't catch dophlieans when fishing for fish.

DF, it does seem that the original aim of EP has changed over the years. Allowing all types of stories and groups has come at a great expense to what EP used to be, a supportive and uplifting place. I can't see how mean and nasty trolls, explicit sexual avatars, and groups glorifying ****** can possibly fit into the original intent of this website. Yet there are entire EP neighborhoods populated by these unsavory, and at times illegal, citizens and topics.<br />
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EP saying to us that this is not permitted doesn't change anything. They are still here.<br />
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I don't want to lose hope. But I'm not seeing much of an improvement.<br />
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I would be very interested to hear from EP staff just exactly what their goals and hopes for this website are at this time.

We can't lose hope. We need to give this a happy ending too. Hopefully, EP has not lost sight of its original aim. But sometimes we wonder if the aim has changed. Has anyone asked? DF

A very good question, DF.

I think we have been replaced Ms Dat. Just like the movie The Artist..... No voice.

At least The Artist has a happy ending. I'm not so sure this mess will, Duchess!

I doubt if i'm going to say anything that hasn't already been said. (quite a few responses to this post).<br />
I'm sure that it's worse for the ladies on here. <br />
In my approximately one year of EP membership i've recieved only a couple of invitations to become friends with naked 'crudely so' young women. However the complaint from female members has been constant.<br />
It would be easy to say, ignore them and just concentrate on the acceptible members, but apart from that being an irritating platitude, it shouldn't be neccessary.<br />
I symathise with all the ladies on here who are exposed to this type of feeble minded sexual display, there are far too many moronic people in the world, and they all seem to be online.<br />
What is needed is for some philanthropic techno geek to whisk us all away to a perv proof new EP. Alas the chances of that happening are less than remote.<br />
Or are they. is there perhaps a healthy minded techno geek who could build a perv free new EP. One with a more vigilant method of censorship.<br />
I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who have the technical know how, the problem is finding one who has the inclination and motivation.<br />
Perhaps a more technically minded EP member could put out feelers for such a person/persons out there in cyberspace.<br />
Yea sorry, I know it's pie in the sky, but for all you ladies who seem most abused, I really wish it could happen. <br />
Maybe you'd take me with you.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if that could happen, Ari! We definitely would take you with us. You are one of the best!

100% FULLY COMPLETELY agree with you!<br />
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I wish the staff of EP tries to truly consider this issue. The popularity of EP will just fastly decline due to the immorality of spreading posion. It's like cancer cells Vs healthy blood cells.<br />
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SUGGESTiON:<br />
We should all agree to write a complaint message to them all at the same time time and day - maybe that would alert them abit, in order to actually take some positive action. If you don't want to do it for yourself, then do it for the people who are on EP looking for help, advice, inspiration, motivation to keep going. Because honestly, there is so much good in this social network and I seen so many people be TRULY inspired in actually becoming better, in recieving ''immediate'' advice, help, etc.<br />
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We are all talking about the problem, which is good to show that there are many good people out there, but ''action'' speaks louder than words and maybe if we all gather as many people on EP to put some suggestions in trying to solve this problem, then voting on the best one we can therefore, implement it in order for righteous change to occur. By EP seeing us make a move, they will sure do something about it even if it's 10% change.<br />
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We do have the freedom of speech or action BUT freedom shouldn't negatively effect its surroundings or others because freedom has its limits. And lastly, as there is good in the world, there is also evil, but that doesn't mean we should sit back and watch darkness prevail, rather righteousness should spread it's light.<br />
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May righteousness overflow EP - ameeen:)<br />
Datura... beautiful and a very important post - thanks for sharing!<br />
<br />
]PEACE[

Very good suggestions, ILoveAllah.Thank you for your terrific comment.

Save EP,cause i just found my new off an would fight to save it.

Save EP,cause i just found my new off an would fight to save it.

As a newcomer to EP , I was ready to leave after only a few days on the site. I'm not a prude or a saint but engaging in cybersex is not a prudent way forward to anything meaningful. Talking about an illusion! Getting all steamed up sitting in front of a display of light and shade on a computer screen . What a waste of time.

Am I missing it???<br />
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I have not once, encountered any of the mess that you describe. Really, are only women targets. <br />
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well, I do not accept certain things, eg anyone with 69 in their username ---------- gone. Do not even check the profile, assume one dimensional twittering of an ignoramus. Do not waste emotional energy reading his/her bs.<br />
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I love women, the female form, my sisters here......... etc but nudity is private. If you believe that it is art then keep your art private.<br />
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Muses-- To think, some people thought that I might be a perve when I lodged my first story....... hmmmmmmmm<br />
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love<br />
b

You must have blinkers on.or something

Well, I guess I'm glad that you don't see it, b. I wish I didn't. I'm tired of seeing it. I'm tired of talking about it being here. I'm tired of knowing illegal garbage and **** is here even if I don't see it. I'm tired of cut and paste responses from staff about the issue. I'm just sick and tired of it.

Hi EDnBm/Squiggles! I so agree with you.

Another well-phrased "story"/report, and I'm fully in agreement. EP has been a great support to me and I've met many genuine friends over the past year or so. Being transgender inevitably rates me and these friends as "adult" because "gender is sex, innit?". Well it isn't, and I do resent all those "fans" who suppose I'm interested in what I would consider degrading activities. Sexuality that is respectful and tender is one thing, wife-sharing and incontinence etc. is not, and I can do nothing to automatically distinguish and block. So I cough and move on. But I have a large "fan" following that thankfully only I can see, that at times frankly disgusts me.<br />
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My guess is that EP overwhelms those few who are asked to manually moderate. But how can there BE groups like ****** etc. without being noticed?? Even EP moderators can do databa<x>se crawls for terms likely to cause breach of T&Cs. No? And photo scanning software to alert stories with em<x>bedded nudity? Surely ...<br />
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I do get less interested the more explicit sex content there is, especially when it ob<x>jectifies and degrades.

I believe coming here and seeing nude avatars up makes the pervs feel at home. I believe failure to deter this misconduct is the root of much of the grief on this site. Deterrence does work on other sites which have avatars but you never see nude ones, e.g. Answerbag.

First, I'm with Conceptualclarity. I have met many "quality men" on EP. There are a lot of men here who are respectful and fun and interesting. <br />
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And I agree with Quintesse that the ultimate solution is not to come up with better and better flagging systems, but is to make EP an inhospitable place for the X-rated set. How? I don't know, but it's not my job to run a website. Surely there must be a way.

"Quality men"! Really!!!!!

heheheee

you have expressed your self and the problem well..there is nothing more i can add....except......thank you...

Thanks, nueilly. I do feel it's important for us all to stick together and voice our objection to what is happening here. Stand up and be counted, so to speak.

I guess the point is that while self -ex<x>pression is a beautiful thing in theory, the nature of this site is such that you cannot protect yourself from that which offends you. I get fanned two or three times a day. I wrote a story once about how if you post a story about how you enjoy looking out of your window you will immediately be fanned by someone who "is a peeping Tom." I found a million ways to laugh about this phenomenon and even joked that at least they were reading. <br />
No matter what you do, you cannot prevent someone from fanning you, and that is okay except for when your fan is rude. I went to Tom's profile to check out his stories and came face to face with depravity that is still giving me nightmares.<br />
The answer is not in creating features that alert staff to inappropriate material, the answer is to change this place back to a place where you do not have to be scared, stalked or intimidated by lonely, perverted cyber-holics. The only way to do that is to censor groups and avatars. I am not optimistic. Once the door is open it is next to impossible to close. Ep would have to show some integrity and that is unlikely at this point.

This is the strangest site I have ever been on.. actually outside of facebook it is the only social media-tytpe outlet I have ever been involved with.. <br />
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This is a pic-up place, no question about it... a shame too be/c it could be so much more...great place to test out writing pieces.. but it really needs a good hot shower !!

And saddest of all, Richie, is that it DID used to be that kind of place!

This situation saddens me. It brings disgrace knowing that some men can't respect women. I know men aren't the only ones posting naked pictures. I think it is pathetic when a man posts a naked or sleazy picture of a woman as his profile picture as if to say, "I think all women are this way." It is even more disgraceful when they post a naked picture of themselves. All it shows is that they have no sense of respect for others on here (including children). Those kinds of people need not be on here.

So true!

It is sad. There are some quality men on here but not many. I realize you and your wife and others like you will not stay if the **** continues to exist. I read WildSpectrumArts story "I'm leaving EP" I don't blame her. Other quality people will leave. I wonder how many people have already left because of the rampant ****.

I don't agree that there aren't plenty of quality men on EP.

Yawn at that. Anyway. I'm glad that there are decent men and women on EP who want it to be a good website that is safe for all members.

1 More Response

Nimbus and Chipernie are both men. Men do not get as much harassing requests for **** as women do. My husband told me that he gets requests for friendship from women who are usually around his age and are lonely some are harassing. He gets nothing at the level that I and many other women members do. EP is not getting better. It is getting worse. When people are posting pornographic videos on their profiles and it is flagged many times over and nothing gets done about it, there lies a serious problem. <a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Want-To-Improve-The-Experience-Project/2034979" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a> The link is to a story within this group about flagging videos. The profile within the link has been flagged for the pornographic video it has on its profile. It has been flagged by several people but it is still up and it has been over 24 hours since the person who brought this situation to light posted it. Yet, nothing has been done about it. EP is a "hot" mess.

It is so frustrating to flag and flag and see things like this video remain posted. It is absolutely disheartening.

Thank you for posting the link to my story in the group. I hope that others will click on the link and flag the link within the story. Posting pornographic videos are disgusting.

The one thing that always seems to work is writing dirrectly to EP either via the contact page or E-mail. It seems that after flagging numerous times I will contact EP dirrect via e-mail and I always get a reply and reaction in less that 12 hours.

Yes, I agree with that, Lingerieme. Except on weekends, when it does not work to contact EP. Flagging is not working very well at all. But, these measures are not stemming the tide of new rule violations. They just keep on coming.

And they will always think they can avoid the rules, by trying new and discusting things

I concur with Ernie.<br />
I have been an EP member for some considerable time now and during that time I have only ever encountered pervs very rarely.<br />
Perhaps I am just lucky or perhaps I just don't go looking for it.

I don't go looking for it either, Nimbus. When someone sends a friends request, I look at their profile. That's where I see the X-rated groups, genital group photos and naked avatars. Maybe I should stop looking at profiles of people who send me requests for adds? I think you should consider yourself lucky!

"Looking for it"??? I am certainly not seeking *********** here. It is unavoidable. I actually changed my account settings to only allow contact from friends for awhile, but I hated blocking out good people trying to escape the pervs. I do not post suggestive avatars, or ask nasty questions, and my account settings are supposed to filter out pervs, but they don't. I still get approached by people with sleazy avatars looking for a cheap hookup. And I don't have to seek it in the stories, either. It is everywhere. The point is, *********** does not belong here. It is in direct violation of TOS, and some of it, like the people and groups encouraging **********, rape, violence, ******, and **********, are illegal. The decent people who use EP in good faith, and follow the rules, and don't want to see that filth, should not have to see it.

Exactly, Abbey.

Amazing how some people seem able to find all this stuff here and I almost never run across it except when the censorious-minded chose to provide links so no-one can miss it.

Got one. :) I can see how the women here might have more of a problem than the males, and I do get "add mes" from some strange people, both male and female, but I just steer clear of them.

I dunno, Ernie. I'm not soliciting the penis avatar friend's requests. The just appear in my mailbox. Or someone with a less risque avatar will send a request and when I look at their profile, those XXX-rated groups will be there and many of their friends will have the naked avatars. I'm not trying to find them, believe me.

This is a great post. I share your disgust and disappointment with what EP has become. I find myself logging on less and less, because it's just too depressing. The Confessions section is a total sewer, the Stories are becoming overwhelmingly filthy, and even Q&A is overrun with pervs and trolls lately. But worst of all is the feeling that EP Admin doesn't care. Like so many others, I have been flagging and reporting these things, to no avail. It's getting worse and worse, and I, too, am losing hope. :(

Thanks for your support, Abbey. I, too, find myself logging on less and less. It does get depressing, and I want to come here to have fun and feel good, not get upset over this crap.

I became aware of the **** issue when I decided to jump on EP during my lunch break. I hadn't been on for a while and wanted to catch up with my friends. I decided to check out the Q&amp;A section and there popped in my face was the picture of some young, fat, naked slob lying on a bed. What kind of an jackass posts a naked profile picture that everybody in the world can see? Here he is answering a question in the Q&amp;A section. The question wasn't about ****. It was a normal question. I nearly lost my lunch. I was thankful that I was in my office and not working in a cubicle otherwise people could have easily seen this. It was disgusting, unexpected and unnecessary.

What I find most dissappointing is that given an opportunity to express oneself anonymously, so many choose to pull down their pants. I suppose I expect more from humanity.<br />
It is frustrtating to witness how folks choose to behave when they believe there are no consequenses for their choices.

It is really disappointing when you think about it. I have all these hopes and beliefs that humanity is evolving, and yet we get to witness the worst of human behavior here.

Hi Marji! Yes, as usual...a copy and paste job. I have a feeling she didn't even read my story. After all, I did beg her not to say they don't allow nudity and she said it again anyways. (Like I knew she would.) It was a clever test to see if she was really listening ;-) <br />
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You're so right about all the new bells and whistles on the "New and Improved" horrible beta profile being meaningless in the scope of what's going on here. And I'm sure you're right that there are ways to filter and block those avatars.<br />
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I just don't know, Marji. I don't know how they can take any pride in hosting some of the garbage that is filling this site. 13 million experiences. Big deal. I would chose quality over quantity any day. But EP doesn't seem to get that.

What really gets to me is the one reply per story. They don't go back and comment again. We get some stupid half a**** generic answer which isn't relevant to what We are actually asking for and they seem to think that is enough. I don't believe they are taking this seriously at all... It's sad

I am told he no longer heads EP.

There Is Hope In Troubled Times! I understand your concern! Writing a letter voicing/stating how your feeling is a first step toward Change. Brainstorm (alone-then with friends-then in a group). Networking with other large online sites will Bless you with incites to Overcome. Craigslists has people who post vulgar nudity; dating sites. Get more info. About people signing up! Even Google is making big changes starting March 1, 2012. You could have new policy of paying a fee ($3-$10) to join EP. Get credit card info. Those that post nudity pay fine. I will think on this some more! Pray; God will Help You! Respectfully

Thanks for the ideas, Thankful.