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Losing Hope

Yes, I do want to improve the Experience Project.

I want my son, the computer engineer, not to be lecturing me about EP and what a bad reputation it has acquired. "Look it up, mom. You'll see". I did. He was right. "Google any disgusting topic and see what comes up, mom." I did. He was right.

I want to log on and not have fan messages from men with their genitals on display in their avatar photos, even though my profile is set to not receive mail from these type of profiles.

I want to read stories from my circle list that are fun or uplifting or poignant like they used to be. Now so many of the stories are about removing the **** that has taken over this site.These stories are necessary to get the staff's attention, but I don't want there to be a reason for those stories to even exist.

I don't want to read comments from EP staff telling us that nudity is not permitted in public areas of EP. It simply sounds ludicrous! It IS here. EVERYWHERE.

I don't want to be told to flag the offenders for fast action from staff. I have flagged some nude avatars and stories with nude photos and photos of sex acts in them over and over, sometimes for days or weeks. They remain. Flagging is not working. The flagrant posting of nudity is getting worse and worse every day.

I want to improve the Experience Project, but I have no effective tools that actually work at my disposal. Flagging is not really effective even when items are removed. For every group or nude profile photo that is removed, many more pop up to replace them......yes, I know. It is not permitted. Please don't say that again. I'm begging you.

I want to improve the Experience Project, but I can't. Only Experience Project can do that.

Maybe it's too late. The growth of ****, nudity, and illegal groups on this site has been exponential. The flood gates have been opened. Anyone googling any unsavory topic can easily end up here.

I want to improve the Experience Project. We have been begging for a clean-up for years now.

I am losing hope.

datura datura 56-60, F 48 Responses Jan 30, 2012

Your Response


I agree with all you have said datura. I just logged on and the first story I read is about guys ******* off while on Ep ... yuck! :(

Oh, yuck is right. look chilly today, Tassie. Have you gone over to the dark side?

I am doing research datura ..

This is so sad.....<br />
I too have voiced my concerns many times but the staff here doesn't get it at all. Does there really need to be badly written **** called "erotica" posted here? Is there actually a shortage of sites where one can share this sort of thing? I think not. Also....there is software to automatically filter out nudity in images. It's BS for anyone to say otherwise. All they have to do is utilize it. How about we err on the side of caution and yes maybe a few innocent images get automatically flagged. Isn't this better than chasing around people who don't give a crap?<br />
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It really hit home for me a while ago. I wrote a piece of erotica for someone I was dating and briefly considered posting it here. When I put it on my status as a question I was amazed at how inundated I was with responses; mostly from people I had never talked to. When I clicked on some of their profiles it pretty much answered the question for me. I'm not going to be associated with that crap or those kind of people in any way. Any imbecile can write ****. That takes zero talent. It makes me crazy.<br />
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EP is not what it used to be and the really sad thing is when I say that there are a lot of people that have no idea what I'm talking about. It used to be harmless fun.....sometimes silly.....sometimes even a little flirty but it was never a place where I might have to worry about my child looking over my shoulder because of content that might be on the next page.<br />
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EP is a hollow sham of what it once was. Sad. All to make it more appealing to the younger crowd.

Yes. Eventually this site will be sold for a pile of money. Staff here wont acknowledge that but who are they kidding? The whole goal is to show investors the number of users and stories even though many profiles are created by the same people to attack others or cause sh*t. If they truly cared about the quality of content they would delete inactive profiles after a certain amount of time. I've always lobbied for not being able to post anything until your profile is completely filled out. I believe that the trouble makers wouldn't want to take the time to fill out all the boxes just to cause trouble.

You've written great stories about this in the past, Bassie, with terrific advice and solutions. But here we are still begging for help with these problems. This is exactly why I'm beginning to totally lose hope.

Thanks Datura. I feel like the answers from EP are being cut and pasted now I've heard them so many times over. Mature topics and **** are not the same thing. Why is that so hard for them to understand. The fact that they allow children here is absurd.

The perverts are all ages. There's a nasty old man in his 70s on here who keeps sending messages asking to be added to see dirty pictures. Gross.

1 More Response

I guess all we can hope to do is keep our circles ful of people worth being there for us and let the other part of EP crumble around us!!!

Hence, why I've kept my circle small. I've lost a couple of friends but they were the ones who were posting naked pictures so it wasn't real loss to me anyway. If someone can't follow the rules on here, then I don't want them as a friend. I want EP to be safe for everyone.

*sigh*<br />
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I will reiterate. I am aware that you don't allow nudity, Arsineh. I have read your terms of services for a full list of acceptable behavior, many times actually.<br />
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I know you rely on flagging, and I know it is not working.<br />
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I know I can also block adult members from sending me fan requests, an option also available under account settings.....because I have already done it. It hasn't worked.<br />
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I anxiously await for you to roll out major upgrades to your flagging system so that staff can more quickly be alerted and address these situations quickly. As a matter of fact, I remember when you said that a year or so ago. Didn't seem to work that time. Maybe it will this time. <br />
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I don't think I'll hold my breath.

You will be waiting a LONG time for that. In all the time I have been here I have not seen ANYTHING done to prodect the real members of EP. Plenty of advertising and pushing to get the figures higher, but nothing needed.

I agree, Des. ZERO tolerance. Make everyone e-sign some agreement when they create a profile that they understand the rules. First infraction of the type you mention and they are gone. No second chances.

I am in 100% aggreeance with you datura. It wasn't all that long ago that EP was a good place to come and share. Now days, I come here out of loyalty, because it is not a place I feel welcome.<br />
The staff has lost control of EP as it has grown. There isn't enough Admin. members to police the rules they try to enforce.<br />
If I came to EP as a new member, there isn't a chance in hell that I would join up. It is not a safe place any more...

I agree, Reece.

Soulful one, <br />
If you had any idea of the kind of heat I took back then, when Ep was new. <br />
It was the women--boobs mostly, lingerie. "This is how I want to express myself" they told me.<br />
My point was--BUT--<br />
Once people start logging in here and they see that, then this place becomes a haven for people looking for that kind of thing. Then it becomes a contest to see how the limits can be pushed.<br />
Then the men said..well what do you think will happen if I post a crotch shot? Fair is fair.<br />
I said that censorship was necessary IF you wanted this place to be about friendship and support (which the great majority of us did.) I said, HOWEVER--if you want this to be a place where cybersex rules and depravity sets up shop, then do nothing. <br />
They did nothing.

Thank you for taking the time to express your concerns.<br />
<br />
With nearly 13million experiences shared on EP you can find experiences around just about every topic. Though we do allow adult/mature experiences to be shared we do not allow nudity, or content that promotes harm to others or animals. Please review our terms of services for a full list of acceptable behavior. <br />
<br />
Due to the size of EP, we rely on community monitoring and flagging. No automated system is perfect and we are constantly working to improve our flagging system but without members flagging the improvement we make to the process will be useless. In addition we also have automated systems in place to help us automatically classify adult content on the site to protect minors. <br />
<br />
In the next couple weeks we will be rolling out major upgrades to our flagging system so that staff can more quickly be alerted and address these situations quickly.<br />
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In the meantime--If you haven't already done so, you can opt to turn on your adult filter to limit your exposure to mature material. Visit account settings off your profile page to do so. <br />
<br />
You can also block adult members from sending you fan requests, an option also available under account settings.

I know you don't allow nudity. How's that workin' for ya?

I hope this roll out is more effective than the last one!

And finally, I did block adult members from sending me fan requests. It just doesn't work.

It is SO easy to stop this nonsense! Simple rules. No custom avatars, no ability to post pics, no ability to create new groups or add pics to groups until you have been on EP for a certain time or have a paid membership.

Requiring a paid membership will not stop perverts from posting ****. They will do whatever it takes to degrade themselves and others. Requiring a paid membership will make it hard for younger members to join and share their experiences among their peer groups.

The blocking features for adult content don't work. The flagging system doesn't work or is ignored. I should have to flag pornographic material that is posted by the same person every time I'm on EP. It should get removed. I know I'm not the only one flagging inappropriate material on here.

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It's really sad to read such a decent long-standing member of EP having to write this about losing hope :( Luckily I don't get the naked pictures or avatars posted to me or requesting me, if I did I probably wouldn't remain on here for long. <br />
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It would be a real pity to lose members who have been on here since it seemed primarily a site genuinely for people to find others who have had similar experiences to them. I remember really enjoying matching up profiles with so many similar experiences, small things in life, that people just have in common, and may lead to a realisation of people being kindred spirits to an extent.<br />
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I think one of the most unfortunate things in society at large is that everything seems so sex-oriented. About EP in general, I think it's a place where people can find what we call "the comfort of strangers", but I am beginning to think more and more that like "in the real world" with its over emphasis on sex, many people may be seeking comfort through sex, as a means of distraction from other problems, be they mundane daily-life problems, or emotional problems that may need dealing with through other means and without compounding them with some kind of sex addiction :((

I'm with you. I am really sad about this post.

I seem to remember a "discussion" about naked avatars and how that would open the floodgates -- how it needed to be curtailed before it got out of hand. How once that door was opened it would not be able to be closed.<br />
I was crucified for that suggestion--free speech and self-ex<x>pression and all...<br />
Made a lot of enemies.<br />
That was four years ago.<br />
<br />
I won't say it--but I think about it all the time.

I remember that discussion very well, too, Q. Gee. You must be psychic. You sure predicted this fiasco.

I commend you for taking on this fight. Datura. Nevertheless , at least 75% of these members believe the way they are is right for them or they come here to search for the things that will make them happier in a confined place, where their loved ones would probably not think they could be spending time at. So We, the sane members have to put up with all that is sick to us but, is the norm for them. Still we keep the hope of just finding a site that shows true ex<x>pression and not a lot of drama.

Datura isn't the only one fighting. We want EP to be safe for everyone. Many people are in agreement. EP needs to be cleaned out.

Nice post; sad, but true.

I wouldn't have stayed back when we joined if it had been like this then, Juan. I would have peaked in the door and ran!

great post, datura and i'm in agreement with you.

Thanks, Jerrica. I know there are a lot of us who are sad to see EP go down this road, and I appreciate your support.

great post, datura and i'm in agreement with you.

I've run into several videos of that nature, LadyGodiva. I have to believe that some of those people actually think they are on a X-rated site. They google, they join. Their friends are doing it so they think it must be ok. It is sad and sick.

Thank you, cowboy. We appreciate you good guys!

Even though I post some adult content, it is not on display on my profile. You have to dig for it. My EP friends who also post adult content know that if a bunch of nude pictures start popping up on my newsfeed because they have decided to befriend idiots who cannot follow the rules, then they are out of my circle. I keep private photos private. I don't advertise that I have them. I don't post my email address (that's just crazy). Out of all of my stories two-thirds is non adult and one-third is adult but none of the adult stuff appears on my main profile page. People need to use some tact and common sense when posting comments, stories and pictures. This place has turned into a pornographic zoo. Some clown even posted a ***** video on his profile page for the world to see. How sick is that?

Thanks, Mary. As a relative newcomer, you never had the opportunity to know the EP that we knew a few years ago. An EP where an avatar of pretty tame negligee was promptly removed! An EP where one NEVER ran into any nudity or disgusting groups. It is unbelievable how much this place has changed.

I suspect it's gotten away from whoever manages these things. Too many sites to audit and make a decision about.

I'm with you, Datura, 100%.

Thanks, Des. I can actually feel how the energy of this place has changed over the years. It is very sad.