Losing Hope

Amazing how some people seem able to find all this stuff here and I almost never run across it except when the censorious-minded chose to provide links so no-one can miss it.

This is a great post. I share your disgust and disappointment with what EP has become. I find myself logging on less and less, because it's just too depressing. The Confessions section is a total sewer, the Stories are becoming overwhelmingly filthy, and even Q&A is overrun with pervs and trolls lately. But worst of all is the feeling that EP Admin doesn't care. Like so many others, I have been flagging and reporting these things, to no avail. It's getting worse and worse, and I, too, am losing hope. :(

What I find most dissappointing is that given an opportunity to express oneself anonymously, so many choose to pull down their pants. I suppose I expect more from humanity.

It is frustrtating to witness how folks choose to behave when they believe there are no consequenses for their choices.

Hi Marji! Yes, as usual...a copy and paste job. I have a feeling she didn't even read my story. After all, I did beg her not to say they don't allow nudity and she said it again anyways. (Like I knew she would.) It was a clever test to see if she was really listening ;-)



You're so right about all the new bells and whistles on the "New and Improved" horrible beta profile being meaningless in the scope of what's going on here. And I'm sure you're right that there are ways to filter and block those avatars.



I just don't know, Marji. I don't know how they can take any pride in hosting some of the garbage that is filling this site. 13 million experiences. Big deal. I would chose quality over quantity any day. But EP doesn't seem to get that.

There Is Hope In Troubled Times! I understand your concern! Writing a letter voicing/stating how your feeling is a first step toward Change. Brainstorm (alone-then with friends-then in a group). Networking with other large online sites will Bless you with incites to Overcome. Craigslists has people who post vulgar nudity; dating sites. Get more info. About people signing up! Even Google is making big changes starting March 1, 2012. You could have new policy of paying a fee ($3-$10) to join EP. Get credit card info. Those that post nudity pay fine. I will think on this some more! Pray; God will Help You! Respectfully

Excellent story and thread. Keep the heat on, people, and EP will have to listen eventually. They can't support this site on the backs of the horndogs and tramps if the normal people leave.

And once again, here's EPArsineh telling of huge changes coming soon to EP. I wonder if she even believes the cr*p she repeatedly tells us, or if it's just to shut us up for a while. My bet is on the latter.

I agree with all you have said datura. I just logged on and the first story I read is about guys ******* off while on Ep ... yuck! :(

This is so sad.....

I too have voiced my concerns many times but the staff here doesn't get it at all. Does there really need to be badly written **** called "erotica" posted here? Is there actually a shortage of sites where one can share this sort of thing? I think not. Also....there is software to automatically filter out nudity in images. It's BS for anyone to say otherwise. All they have to do is utilize it. How about we err on the side of caution and yes maybe a few innocent images get automatically flagged. Isn't this better than chasing around people who don't give a crap?



It really hit home for me a while ago. I wrote a piece of erotica for someone I was dating and briefly considered posting it here. When I put it on my status as a question I was amazed at how inundated I was with responses; mostly from people I had never talked to. When I clicked on some of their profiles it pretty much answered the question for me. I'm not going to be associated with that crap or those kind of people in any way. Any imbecile can write ****. That takes zero talent. It makes me crazy.



EP is not what it used to be and the really sad thing is when I say that there are a lot of people that have no idea what I'm talking about. It used to be harmless fun.....sometimes silly.....sometimes even a little flirty but it was never a place where I might have to worry about my child looking over my shoulder because of content that might be on the next page.



EP is a hollow sham of what it once was. Sad. All to make it more appealing to the younger crowd.

I guess all we can hope to do is keep our circles ful of people worth being there for us and let the other part of EP crumble around us!!!

*sigh*



I will reiterate. I am aware that you don't allow nudity, Arsineh. I have read your terms of services for a full list of acceptable behavior, many times actually.



I know you rely on flagging, and I know it is not working.



I know I can also block adult members from sending me fan requests, an option also available under account settings.....because I have already done it. It hasn't worked.



I anxiously await for you to roll out major upgrades to your flagging system so that staff can more quickly be alerted and address these situations quickly. As a matter of fact, I remember when you said that a year or so ago. Didn't seem to work that time. Maybe it will this time.



I don't think I'll hold my breath.

I am in 100% aggreeance with you datura. It wasn't all that long ago that EP was a good place to come and share. Now days, I come here out of loyalty, because it is not a place I feel welcome.

The staff has lost control of EP as it has grown. There isn't enough Admin. members to police the rules they try to enforce.

If I came to EP as a new member, there isn't a chance in hell that I would join up. It is not a safe place any more...

Soulful one,

If you had any idea of the kind of heat I took back then, when Ep was new.

It was the women--boobs mostly, lingerie. "This is how I want to express myself" they told me.

My point was--BUT--

Once people start logging in here and they see that, then this place becomes a haven for people looking for that kind of thing. Then it becomes a contest to see how the limits can be pushed.

Then the men said..well what do you think will happen if I post a crotch shot? Fair is fair.

I said that censorship was necessary IF you wanted this place to be about friendship and support (which the great majority of us did.) I said, HOWEVER--if you want this to be a place where cybersex rules and depravity sets up shop, then do nothing.

They did nothing.

Thank you for taking the time to express your concerns.



With nearly 13million experiences shared on EP you can find experiences around just about every topic. Though we do allow adult/mature experiences to be shared we do not allow nudity, or content that promotes harm to others or animals. Please review our terms of services for a full list of acceptable behavior.



Due to the size of EP, we rely on community monitoring and flagging. No automated system is perfect and we are constantly working to improve our flagging system but without members flagging the improvement we make to the process will be useless. In addition we also have automated systems in place to help us automatically classify adult content on the site to protect minors.



In the next couple weeks we will be rolling out major upgrades to our flagging system so that staff can more quickly be alerted and address these situations quickly.



In the meantime--If you haven't already done so, you can opt to turn on your adult filter to limit your exposure to mature material. Visit account settings off your profile page to do so.



You can also block adult members from sending you fan requests, an option also available under account settings.

It's really sad to read such a decent long-standing member of EP having to write this about losing hope :( Luckily I don't get the naked pictures or avatars posted to me or requesting me, if I did I probably wouldn't remain on here for long.



It would be a real pity to lose members who have been on here since it seemed primarily a site genuinely for people to find others who have had similar experiences to them. I remember really enjoying matching up profiles with so many similar experiences, small things in life, that people just have in common, and may lead to a realisation of people being kindred spirits to an extent.



I think one of the most unfortunate things in society at large is that everything seems so sex-oriented. About EP in general, I think it's a place where people can find what we call "the comfort of strangers", but I am beginning to think more and more that like "in the real world" with its over emphasis on sex, many people may be seeking comfort through sex, as a means of distraction from other problems, be they mundane daily-life problems, or emotional problems that may need dealing with through other means and without compounding them with some kind of sex addiction :((

It's so true though, Quintesse. The floodgates have definitely been opened.



And on the other side of the argument, many worry about what kind of precedent censorship will set. Once censoring comes back into play, will that eventually be taken too far?



And within reason, I can see some merit in both sides of the argument.



I think the reason nothing has been done about it is that no one can agree on a happy medium. EP has just fallen down on the side of little to no censorship. Perhaps because it takes less time and effort? Again, I don't know.



But the EP terms of use they've laid out seem to be just words anymore.

I seem to remember a "discussion" about naked avatars and how that would open the floodgates -- how it needed to be curtailed before it got out of hand. How once that door was opened it would not be able to be closed.

I was crucified for that suggestion--free speech and self-expression and all...

Made a lot of enemies.

That was four years ago.



I won't say it--but I think about it all the time.

I finally came to realize that these "public ******" types are more visually-oriented, as well. They take any image that even remotely reminds them of a female form as an open invitation to see their penis.



"A smiling female face? Well, she must want to see my penis..."



"A beautiful lady in a demure dress? Well, she must want to see my penis..."



I finally found an avatar that I love, and that doesn't seem to attract a lot of that kind of attention. It has a female figure in it, but it's obscured by the overall design. A while ago I changed it to a silhouette of a girl laying on the floor reading (fully clothed), and even that drew a lot of attention.



I remember getting so mad about this with my last profile. In principle, they should be the ones keeping their penises to themselves. We shouldn't have to hide our faces or be blah and genderless with our choice of avatar. It's kind of like the rapist's argument of "she was asking for it."



THEY are taking away OUR freedom of expression.



A smiling female face is not asking to see your penis, sorry. But their neanderthalic logic will never pick up on that.



Yet these pathetic creatures are cowards, in the end. They are only waving their junk around in other peoples' inboxes because they aren't getting any action in real life. Are they to be scorned? Pitied? I don't know.



But I wonder how they would react if confronted directly? That is one thing I haven't tried yet.



I'm not offended by the sight of a penis, as I'm sure many here are not.



But I do get bored with seeing them. And their presence in my inbox annoys me. How unoriginal.

I commend you for taking on this fight. Datura. Nevertheless , at least 75% of these members believe the way they are is right for them or they come here to search for the things that will make them happier in a confined place, where their loved ones would probably not think they could be spending time at. So We, the sane members have to put up with all that is sick to us but, is the norm for them. Still we keep the hope of just finding a site that shows true expression and not a lot of drama.

Nice post; sad, but true.

great post, datura and i'm in agreement with you.

great post, datura and i'm in agreement with you.

I've run into several videos of that nature, LadyGodiva. I have to believe that some of those people actually think they are on a X-rated site. They google, they join. Their friends are doing it so they think it must be ok. It is sad and sick.

Even though I post some adult content, it is not on display on my profile. You have to dig for it. My EP friends who also post adult content know that if a bunch of nude pictures start popping up on my newsfeed because they have decided to befriend idiots who cannot follow the rules, then they are out of my circle. I keep private photos private. I don't advertise that I have them. I don't post my email address (that's just crazy). Out of all of my stories two-thirds is non adult and one-third is adult but none of the adult stuff appears on my main profile page. People need to use some tact and common sense when posting comments, stories and pictures. This place has turned into a pornographic zoo. Some clown even posted a ***** video on his profile page for the world to see. How sick is that?

I agree, Tendereyes. Sexuality is all a part of the human experience, but I believe there is a clear line between erotic and pornographic. Your profile and stories are erotic, but you don't go around flashing your lady parts in other members' inboxes, haha. I think the fan adds from such members border on harassment, sometimes.



And I've seen this debate several times before, but EP doesn't do anything about it. Possibly because many of these adult profiles are paying members? Or because they can't see a distinction between erotic and pornographic?



I don't know. I've just mainly ignored and adapted my profile.



I set my gender to "Unknown" a while ago and blocked friendship requests from members with adult profiles, and I haven't gotten any friend requests from a set of genitals in a long time.

There are literally millions, possibly billions of **** sites out there. Do we really need another one?



And there are much fewer support sites out there, like this one used to be.



I'm all for freedom of expression, but it's obvious when users are only here for a pornographic experience. Their groups and stories do nothing to contribute to this site or prove that they are anything more than a set of genitals sitting in front of a computer.



I don't mind groups and stories that talk about sex or have some sexual content, but it's really gotten ridiculous.



If you fancy a ****, go to a website that was originally designed for that purpose.

Thanks, Mary. As a relative newcomer, you never had the opportunity to know the EP that we knew a few years ago. An EP where an avatar of pretty tame negligee was promptly removed! An EP where one NEVER ran into any nudity or disgusting groups. It is unbelievable how much this place has changed.

I'm with you, Datura, 100%.

Thanks, Des. I can actually feel how the energy of this place has changed over the years. It is very sad.

me too.



you said it well. :-/