Just Another Take On the Confessions

According to The Experience Project:
“The Experience Project has a section on the sharing of confessions and secrets because secrets held within often represent critical aspects of ourselves and our life situations. We usually can't share these secrets with loved ones and friends because they are too sensitive or embarrassing. As an anonymous community built around the idea of connecting people who understand each other because they have shared similar experiences, anonymously sharing secrets and confessions at the Experience Project is an important complement to discussing the life experiences and stories found on the main portion of the site.”

Take a good look at this definition.  Then take a few minutes and peruse the confession section.  What do you find?  Certainly a large segment of the confession population are using it as nothing more than a banter board, a form of instant messaging and texting, a **** stop, or a bashing forum.  The inanity and ridiculousness throughout certainly don’t meet the criteria stated.  The so called confessions don’t reflect any “critical aspect” of anyone’s life except that they need to get one.  The idea of connecting people who understand each other is lost when there is absolutely nothing of substance or real meaning offered.  Confessions are designed to complement the main portion of EP, yet the abusers don’t contribute anything else on the site, submitting few, if any experience stories or blogs.  These people don’t enhance EP, they drag it down and dirty it up.

Too many problems are being created in this section.  It has become hateful and obscene.  Fights get started and the abusers feed on them like rats.  There is name calling, people are being insulted by name or mean nicknames, and the language is offensive and nasty. It’s unfortunate for those people who really do need to get something off their chest, whether it be with their username or anonymously, only to find it is ridiculed and hijacked by the nefarious folks who abuse it.  Those of us who enjoy this section when used properly have to weed through the **** and garbage just to find something worthy of reading or receiving a comment or advice.

The EP staff has implemented many new features in the confessions.  There needs to be some way to see that people adhere to the definition of use as stated by the developers of this site.  There will always be disagreements among people.  Not everybody likes everybody.  That’s life.  But it doesn’t have to get ugly.  Stick to the definition, and maybe we can make a start to keep it from getting that way.

Myonis108 Myonis108
56-60, F
25 Responses Feb 16, 2009

I like your plan a lot.

You are right, Fallentower!

Lilt - D'oh!

Works with the husband too.

My son would argue for the sake of it. I would shrug and say, "you're right." He had no answer for that one, either.

This is the advice Bill Cosby gives to young kids who are being bullied....<br />
Next time the bully says, "You're so ugly, your grandma won't even knit you a sweater."<br />
<br />
You calmly say to the bully, "So."<br />
No bully ever has a response for that. Bullies hate that!

Yep. Let them think they won. It's the quickest way to end an argument. Maybe we should do a story on the Hatfields and McCoys, a fine example of the futility of feuding.

Absolutely right Myonis. If letting someone think they "won" is what it takes to defuse the situation...then they can "win" all they want.

fallen, I agree that ignoring would help immensely and also that it's not likely to happen. Too many people need to "win" whatever it is they're fighting about. My attitude is if somebody absolutely needs to have the last word, let them.

I agree with you in priciple, Myonis, but the problem comes down to policing. First of all, if those who were attacked in the confessions area would just ignore those attacks, I think it would go away...but that's not likely to happen. So, perhaps those of us who don't like this behavior should use the tools available to put an end to it.<br />
<br />
Oh, and Kitten - I seem to recall that you're just as guilty of using the confessions board as a mud-slinging tool as any of the "young ones" you are pointing the finger at. I gather the forum you're suggesting would be for you too, right?

Oh, you got that right!! And that's not just confessions, either.

Some confessions are so outrages they almost make me sick. If they are real, there is some desperate help needed here that we are not qualified to handle.

Great comment and approach, kitten. I wish they'd go off to Facebook or MySpace. It's a much better fit for them. They're just bored and ubiquitous. We need to set the standards and use it for the purpose confessions was designed to serve.

i never go to the confessions section but i agree with you!

Awesome, le0n! That's along what LilAnnie was talking about!

Thanks for the comments and support! Good ideas, LilAnnie. I think a sandbox in a playground would be great, but personally, I prefer they go somewhere else entirely. The EP standards originally set should stand.

Correction. I think the writer categorizes and the reader reacts. That's it. We should remember to rate a reaction so that we can use that little sidebar on the side if we want to read serious ones.

I never categorize a confession when I read one. I'm going to start doing that. Maybe we all should. It really is a good indication of what's what. Maybe EP can add a new category, like "kid talk" or something like that.

Excellently stated, Myo. The Confessions (which I just don't bother with anymore) are out of control, and the Questions are starting to get a bit dicey, too. I think the thing most of us like here about EP is that it ISN'T MySpace or Facebook. Giving them a sandbox here so the adults can converse in peace sounds like a good solution.

I hadn't noticed a problem with the questions, except sometimes they don't make sense.

Kitten, you're right, a separate place would be good, but I sure don't want this to become a Facebook type of site!<br />
Thanks for the comment, ptp. I haven't noticed the questions, but I'm sure I will now.

Yep, lilt. EP has done a lot just in the past couple weeks and it helps. But as far as the rest of us, how do we step up without engaging?

Thanks, mewold.

Yes, "banter board." That's it.<br />
EP has done their job. And they did it very well.<br />
It's time for the users to step up.

You are, as usual, 100 percent right.