I Feel So Alone... I Just Want To End All Of The Pain.

I have been living in foster care for most of my life. Nobody has ever loved me. The house I'm in now they feed me and put a roof over my head, and send me to school but they don't care about me. They don't even know me. At school I never made any friends as I know I will be moved again and I'm just too weird. I began to talk to this teacher. He was so nice and he would listen to me. He was the only person who made me happy. I felt safe around him as if he cared for me. I fell in love with him. I went to him crying after something happened and he hugged me. Then I stupidly told him that I loved him. He pushed me away and left. For about a month he didn't so much as look at me. He is now trying to fix things. I know I shouldn't love him but I still do. I can't be around him without feeling rejected. I know that I was born for a reason but I can't go on. How do I not let the urges over take me?
Hushhush5 Hushhush5
13-15, F
2 Responses Dec 7, 2012

I think you love your teacher because when you are at school he is classified as your carer and its his job to teach and nurture you in the ways of the world. Similar to a parent. I hope you do find the strength to go on. I know its easier said than done but focus on your future. Make your dreams come true. If you want to go to uni? Why not focus on what subject you want to do! If you have a focus then you have a reason to keep on trying. Please don't give up. Your story really moved me. You can find comfort in strangers. I know I am a little older than you but if you ever need to talk. Please don't hesitate to contact me. I might not be able to give you a solution but I can be your friends and support you. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Take Care of yourself and remember what I said!

Yeah, I will write to you