I Want to Kill Myself But Not Today

Where do I start...I want to kill myself,but just not today.Life for me,just hasnt been fair.I suffer with a lot of problems.Physical AND Mental. Sometimes I wish I could just end everything. No more pain. Physical OR mental. Life just gets TOO much sometimes.I know I would hurt a lot of people.But I'm not wanting to do that. I just cant take life anymore. Im not going to kill myself today, or maybe not even tomorrow....but I still want to. I think it should be MY choice though. Im an adult.I'm 35years old. You should be allowed to make that decision in life, whether you want to continue living on this earth, or not. Death is not a bad thing. EVERYONE who is born will DIE. Is it wrong to just want to go before my "time", before my biological clock says is the RIGHT time?! Or when "GOD" says.(I dont believe in GOD,but thats another story). Life hasnt been good to me, it hasnt been fair. Ive just had enough. I could be an alcoholic,but I dont drink. I could be a druggie,but I dont do drugs.I dont want to. Thats MY choice. So,why not the choice whether I live or die?! MY choice. MY LIFE.

LibertyBell LibertyBell
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 16, 2009

I completely understand your feelings, Liberty...but I think you can turn it all around...I really and truly believe it can and WILL get better...I think everything happens for a reason. When I look back on my life and all the terrible things I have been through, I can see how they have influenced other things down the road for the greater good...for my children...for others...hang in there, please!! You are in my thoughts!