My Borderline Ex Girlfriend

My name is Allie and I just ended an almost 1yr partnership with my girlfriend. Her and I became friends and I helped support her through a recent break-up of 2yrs with her ex. Afraid to be a rebound I took things very slowly with her. We did not have any sort of intimacy for about 4months and or not until we were "official" I was seeing other people, men and women before we were together and shortly after we decided to be together, I found out I was pregnant. We decided to take things day by day with no expectation she was going to stay with me because I was having someone elses baby. To my suprise she did, threw my baby shower, went to Dr visits and even slept with her hand on my belly every night when sleeping. She decided to love my child as her own. She was even my coach in my delivery room....that is why I am shocked to believe that she would end this relationship so abruptly with no regard. It ahs been a struggle for me in this relationship I am 31 she is 28 and this is my first relationship with a woman. My parents are unaccepting and treated her with disrespect in which I denied the granparents to my son visitation unless they started treating her with respect...They did eventually come around and apologized for being" rude" to her but that they would not ever change their belief that a same sex relationship was wrong. We also found it hard to do things together because a new baby places more demands on the relationship...we barely had alone time and she began to ask for space when I wanted closeness. I recently bought tickets to a concert to her favorite band. It was going to be our 1 yr anniversary. I had asked my parents to watch my son of 4 months so I could go for the weekend with her. They initailly agreed and then quickly took it back, used some lame-o excuse that they had plans...I couldn't think of anyone that I could really trust to watch my son and my gf was complaining of how much a "hassle" it was going to be to bring him along. Out of kindness I told her just go and have fun with your friends I have a responsibilty to my son, well she didn't like that at all, lashed out and said if I didn't go we didn't need to be together and that she would cheat on me.This sent me in an upheaval I lashed back and ended things in hopes she would hurt without me and my son and fight to have us back as well as repair the hurt she caused. We have had these ups and downs in our relationship...where she would constantly degrade and especially ridcule me when I would cry as if it were a great weakness to look down upon. She would always get mad at me for cying....it was often her fault for making me cry.It has freshly been 10 days since we split and its seems we are in limbo. We are broken up, but she is claiming that she is confused about hings and she doesn't want to talk. I love her and want to do whats best for her to help her get help. I knw that she already sees a Psychiatrist once a month so she can refill her Xanax, but she doesnt have the money to see a therapist twice a week which was recommended by her Dr. I have seen her get worst the longer our relationship went on, but she also held me and my son in such high regard, like we were her family. That is why I dont understand why she is fighting to have us back. help I am hurting because I love her, iwant to be back with her so bad,but I also want her to be healthy.
JaxxJaxx JaxxJaxx
31-35
May 15, 2012