Sadistic MotherI was 17 had been out drinking quite heavily and missed my station on the train ride home. Consequently I had to walk 13 miles home in the cold pouring rain. (actually there's another story to that but another time). So anyhow I finally got home drenched through and freezing cold.
My first priority was to get warmed up. We had a gas fire with a deep shag pile carpet in front of it. I lit the fire and removed all my wet clothes. Before I knew it I was fast asleep on that carpet in our living room in front of the fire.
At some point the next morning I started to waken and was ACCUTELY aware that I was stark naked and there were voices in the room. I was lying face down and at first didn't dare move, hoping that whoever was in the room hadn't even noticed me. Then I started to pick out the voices that I could hear. There was my mother, her best friend from down the road, this best friends daughters (all three of them aged about 16, 18 and 21), the woman from next door (aged about 45), my grandmother and I think that's about it.
They were all having a good laugh at my expense. It became obvious that my mother had called this meeting purely for my own embarrassment, she was saying stuff like "This is just how I found him this morning". Her friend was commenting along the lines of "He's very well built isn't he" and one of the girls was saying "When's he going to get up"
I just played dead hoping they would all just go away, but then became aware of the pressing need that my bladder had to be relieved. Now in case you don't know, there's a side effect of having a full bladder that I could really have done without on this morning. ie a very engorged member. After lying there motionless for what seemed an eternity, I finally had to go.
I thought long and hard and realised that I was going to have to make a dash for the bathroom. I then started to think about my options. I considered playing it cool just standing up and strolling out the door as if I wasn't phased at all. But that would just give those girls a good look at what I had. Then I considered covering the vital part as I rose with my hands. I could just picture that, I would just look so stupid. No I felt the best option was to just make a dash for it but without attempting to cover up anything, just make it fast. I could run fast eh.
So I stood and made a quick dash for the door, but I could feel this thing just bouncing up and down like some kind of nodding donkey. Even while I was upstairs I could still hear the laughter coming from downstairs.
I still think this was a very nasty thing for my mother to have put me through.