I Believe He Had A Midlife Crisis...

In January 2008 my then husband informed me that "I am done" justlikethat, I actually turned to him and said "done what" and was informed our marriage as far as he was concerned was over.  He said there was nothing to discuss or worth saving, and he walked out.  Nine days later he moved out to be with the woman he was having an affair with.  He shut everyone out of his life, his two older kids, me our twins, everyone he simply threw us to the curb like yesterdays trash.


He was more concerned with video games, drinking hanging out at the local pubs.  Fast forward to realtime (now) and the affair is over, they have split up, he has asked if I would take him back, but there is alot to consider and my trust has been shattered beyond belief by this man.  He has moved and is trying to get his around what he has done and try and fix things from afar, which I think would be much eaiser if he was in the same city as me.  He had his first child at the age of 20, so yes he feels like he missed out on his "younger years"  


Not to excuse what he has done because he was King of aholes during all this, but he needs to stop running and face his issues head on, he isnt a horrible person, just someone who needs help to get to understand why he does what he does.

How do  you know if its a midlife crisis or just being a turd?

doublesmom doublesmom
36-40, F
4 Responses Feb 15, 2010

reading this story its somewhat like mine minus him coming back it just begun for me and I am so lost and looking for some support of people who has dealt with this, is it midlife or is it an excuse to make others feel sorry for them I am so confused right now and need friends and the ones I have around me are not what I need cause I need outsiders with neutral attitudes...

Your post is my situation (minus the return of the husband part as it is still too early in the "crisis"). It's foolish and ridiculous of our spouses. I think it is a combination of midlife crisis and being a turd. Do you ever wonder how they would deal with the situation if the roles were reversed?

If reversed? They would not deal. Men usually are not that strong emotionaly. Good luck

forget about him... like u said he's the KING..... (of *******'s..)

Yeah we don't normally refer to children as 'horrible' people, but when that child is stuck in an adult's body, running around committing adultery, abandoning children and his wife, etc, I think we can make an exception. No, wait. Horrible? Nah - more like Satan.