Who I Am

Ten things about me. First I have four beautiful daughters that I love with all my heart. I also have a wonderful grand daughter that stole my heart.
Second thing, I have been in the service industry for 35 years. This job is ideal for me, it enables me to interact with a wide variety of people from all walks of life. That and the fact that it provides me with the income I need to maintain the lifestyle I am accustomed to.
The third item on the list that makes me who I am is the man I married. I was a young bride very much in love. Time has changed many things in my marriage. My husband doesn't love me. I believe he is a narcissist. He is the one that makes me dread coming to my home when I am elsewhere. He loves to make me feel sad. He is very controlling.
Fourth, I have a wonderful dog named Cooper. He is a yellow lab golden retriever mix. He is 41/2 years old and he is the opposite of my husband. He loves me unconditionally. He is a big part of my life. We hang out most days.
Fifth, I love to cook and bake. Most people love my food. They think I am a great cook, with the exception of one narcissistic person. I even won the local chili cook off in 2009.
Sixth thing about me, I love books. I enjoy reading. Every Tuesday night you'll find me at the local library. I call it my social Tuesday. I have a great relationship with Holly, my librarian. She will get me any book by any author you could imagine, even if she has to go through the university system.
Seventh, I am a Christian. I love church. I don't go as often as I should, but I work a lot in the summer. I think my pastor is the best.
The eighth thing about me. I lost both of my parents at the young age of 64. I miss them both very much. I think of them daily. They were dear people. They worked hard their whole life. I hope they are resting peacefully up in heaven, they deserve it.
Number nine, I am an old fashioned girl. I believe in love. I wish it was a part of my life right now but I'm in an impossible position to have it. Some day.....
Ten. I am like a wounded animal. I have been put down, dragged through a lot, and pretty much been told that I am worthless. I am afraid to trust or love anyone because of the way I've been treated and lied to. I guess I am just damaged goods. But I am a survivor.
47luckystars 47luckystars
46-50, F
15 Responses Dec 5, 2012

You are a wonderful person and you write in a very beautiful way.

Not damaged at all! You sound like a wonderful woman! He certainly doesn't deserve you if that's how he acts and treats. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put that beautiful smile on that pretty face of yours and take on the world :)

u r great really

you a fighter , you would not have been able to last this long if you was not , ! !!

You need to change number 10 to a great smile and a positive outlook on life. Spend more time with your daughters,

ty for your heart felt honestly hugs

You have great worth and deserve to be happy

love is out there for you - do not be afraid feel it or to embrace

You are not dmaged goods ! your hubby is ! you are a beautiful lady , inside and outwardly ! and you have a sexy smile ! you have to love yourself above all else and keep believeing in you !

Thank you dear . im just me . i dont know any other way to treat and respect a lady ! hugs night owl !

Thank you for sharing your story. They say you can't please everyone but it must hurt awful when you can't please the just one you want to so badly.

It's so hard being in a verbally abusive relationship. Being put down every day. You start believing that you are worthless. I hate coming home from a long day and having to deal with that. In the winter when I'm on break I just want to be home alone. I don't like being in this spot. When he pulls in the driveway I just cringe.

really sorry to hear sweety - did u tell him how u feel about his comments

You seem very together. Given a little time for yourself (other than the cooking) I would think you would be right back into the swing of lifes pleasures. Hang in there......better days are in front of you.

This story has such a positive, upbeat tone, until #10. Having read your story about the guy at the store, I'd say its time to dump hubby. He doesn't deserve you.

You and I have so many things in common. 1) narcissistic husband who can't say anything nice about us even though the rest of the world thinks we're pretty great. I also dread when he comes home. I cringe like an abused dog does when someone tries to pet them. 2). I love to read. 3) I am a Christian and find the hope in my faith sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane. 3). I love animals, we just had to put down our horse and are looking for another one. I love my cats and want a dog but the N won't let us. It's part of what I dream about. 4). I love to cook but not bake. 5). Marrying my husband was the biggest mistake of my life but I love my two children who came out of this terrible match. 6) my parents are still alive and I would be supportive of me if I left, I think. 7). I am also a wounded animal. The view of me inside my house and outside of my house are totally different. I have so many great friends who surround me with love and lift me up even when my husband tears me down. Stay strong! I will pray for you, please pray for me.

Do not forget that in spite of the husband narcissistic Awwadk God Bbnatk four and your love for reading and your dog golden all these things make you a human being endured and sacrificed for others ..... This is not the story as much as a life of study and learn from them so Naveed others .... greetingsthe ability to face life with all its difficulties

Thank you for the comment. I do have a rough life. I am a very sad person. Hopefully things will change. I am a survivor. Again thanks for the input.

Question #1 - Do you deserve to be happy?
Question #2 - Do you deserve to be happy, now!?
Question #3 - When are you going to take that narcissistic anchor from around your neck?

Sad...........I hate sad. Maybe I can cheer you up