It Was Like A Fall From Grace When I Found Out His Age, Now I Don't Know What To Do...please Help Me...

I've known this guy from work for a couple of months or so and things have been running so smoothly.We go slowly, chat a bit in the mornings and in the evenings, another bit here and there when we run across each other in the office,we have a lot of fun together. He seems to be the perfect guy for me, I know he likes me, he even asked me out on a date, we did go on it but he was called to return to work. Even then, he left me with the promise to continue the date some other time and place. So everything seemed celestial up until yesterday, when I found out his age. He is 40 and I'm 23. I could have sworn he wasn't over 30. He seems so young and he is so handsome and I feel so many things for him that my heart nearly bursts when I'm around him! I was really shocked, it was like my dream was shuttered...I really feel a lot of things for this guy, he's the only one over the years who's shown real respect for me and he's humorous and sweet, and caring and always smiling, and looks me in the eyes, he's mature and everything I've always longed for...But I'm very scared of such a big age difference.. Nearly everyone that I know and knows him is against us being together...My mom is against it. My dad doesn't know yet, but I know he will be against it when he finds out. All of my friends disapprove of him because of his age. Only one of my friends is supportive of this...Her relationship has that kind of an age difference too...It's kind of comforting a bit, but it doesn't mark out my fears.I keep thinking about the future, when I will be 40 and he will be near 60...This whole thing scares me. I think I found the man of my life only to lose him so early... :(
Windsurferarmad Windsurferarmad
22-25, F
6 Responses Apr 29, 2012

I've always told myself I'd never date anyone over 3 years older than me... I'm about to move in with the love of my life who is 7 years older then me. I know that doesn't seem like a really big gap compared to your situation, but honestly he could have been 50 and it wouldn't have mattered to me.

Give him a chance. He sounds like a great guy. What I've learned about friends is, they want what's in your best interest and a lot of them will sacrifice your happiness for what they think is best for you. The truth is, you know what's best for you and if you think you've found the man of your life. Go to him.

Friend don't just let him go because of his age.. I understand the age gap between both of you.. When you will be 40, he will be around 60.. Who knows these 20 years will give you experience of a life time.. Ask yourself can i let him go?? Think on the pros and cons, consult ur parents, friends on those and then come to conclusion..

Thank you for your kind words! He is no longer in my life though.This story still remains so that I can remember! ;) Take care!

Love is does not discriminate by any means. Love is alway comes and go. The only thing that stay with us is the memories we choose to make. You could be dating or marrying to someone your age and that still don't guarantee anything. The only thing I see is that knowing that he's older and younger you both need to seriously discuss the pros and cons and see if both of you could work it in agreement of things that could or couldn't happen for either of you. Like having children or activities and so forth. You both are adults so it is just a matter of can you accept that there are things you can't get from each others and there are things that would work wonders. Love is blind and acceptance.

Thank you very much my friend. Your words are true and kind. :)

What you need to be concerned about is : is he health-conscious? Does he care about things like good diet and exercise? Does he have an aversion to seeing doctors? If he looks young at 40 it may because he takes good care of himself.

I think he does. Thank you :)

By the time the difference in your age will make a difference in your life, you will have lived with someone who seems to treat you as you want to be treated. How many of us can say that ? Take it slow but, don't rule him out because of his age. It could be a real asset for you.

You've got the point my friend.It's exactly that. I seem to have found someone who treats me the way that I want without me having to say exactly how I want to be treated.That's what's so special about him and why I make such a fuss, otherwise I wouldn't even give a sweat. I never was the kind of girl who would fall for a guy so easily.

I forgot to mention that I married a gal 12 years my junior. While that's not quite the age difference in your case, I want to tell you it worked out great for us. I could never see what she saw in me and was very flattered that she found me attractive enough to marry. I have to admit that she seemed beyond her years in intelect and intellegence. Worked for us but, take it slow and if you still feel the same about him in six months, you may have a winner. But be sure to get to know him before making a long term comitment.

(1) Get rid of your fears as they will only serve to hender your progress and 17 years is not that big of an age gap (2) To Quote Mark Twain : When you go fishing in the sea of love bait with your heart.....Not your Brain , Your heart will always guide you true .

Thank you so much my friend, that is a strong argument you gave me there

From a support view I'm not one to argue as your future facts will speak for themselves in knowing both hearts .