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I Want To Know The Worst Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To You

The Beginning Of The End

By: Verwandlung
Written on July 17th, 2010
"I dont care what you feel like, youve got to work"

That was after I was rear ended on the highway by a car doing more than 60 mph and I was stopped. My back and neck were really messed up though I di walk away from the accident. My job is very physically demanding and I couldnt take the pain I was experienceing. For a few weeks I had been in and out of the doctors and they wanted me to do some rehab and go on muscle relaxers and pain medication. The ensuing fight brought out a less than sympathetic nature in my wife and that response. All I di was walk away. Right out of the house and very nearly left.

It broke me, whatever problems we had up to that point were eclipsed by the mushroom cloud of that bomb. Gone. My faith, my heart, my will. Replaced by bitterness, depression and the realization that I was a paycheck. The meal ticket. If their were tears that night I dont remember. Certainly Ive had none for her or our marriage since then. Just maintaining what I could for our kids.
By: Verwandlung
Age: 41-45 , Male
1,678 people have read this story

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67 responses
  • DinahMoeHumm
    DinahMoeHumm

    How horrible- to feel that your wife sees your worth was only in your capacity to provide money. Devastating to read. How lonely you must be, in such a situation. Your children must provide you a wonderful comfort to continue is such a marriage. I hope that your back and neck issues have resolved and that you are fully recovered- for your own comfort, not for the wages to provide for your wife.

    I am sorry to hear of anyone in such a situation. Protect your emotional self. You do deserve love. I hope you find it somewhere, sometime.

    Sep 17, 2012
    1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      Thank you Dinah. The body is better but still aches. That happened eight years ago and was the beginning of a very bad time in my life. Unfortunately nothings ever changed despite attempts at counseling. Emotionally I think thats when I left and Im to the point where I think I can financially.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • DinahMoeHumm
      DinahMoeHumm

      I do most truly hope that you find someone who cares about the emotional, the sensitive, and the passionate you. There is a wonderful joy that can suffuse the soul when we are cared about, and I mean truly cared about- not for appearances, not for earning potential, not for money that we already have in the bank, not for the cars we drive, but for who we are. I hope your body continues to heal, and I wish you well in finding someone who treasures you for you.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      I realized the first step was finding me so I focused with being content with myself and trying to be positive.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • DinahMoeHumm
      DinahMoeHumm

      You are correct- without knowing who you are, you have less of a chance to find someone who loves you for you. A very wise step on your part. I hope you have found that place of content within yourself, and that your positive outlook has made your path less difficult.

      Good luck in the near future as in your first reply you commented that you may soon be taking action for your legal freedom.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      This was one of those rare moments that I griped about something in my marriage here on EP. It was really about sharing that moment and the emotions. I hate being just another guy grumbling about his wife. We all need to went and I dont mind those who do at all. I pay $90 an hour to went so I figure Ill appreciate it more and get as much out as I can.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      I let things take their own course. The anger has long since subsided now and I see where our faults are. More importantly I see where we are different.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • DinahMoeHumm
      DinahMoeHumm

      You are not "just another guy". You are an individual, and you had a pivotal moment in time when a horrible realization was foisted upon you, about how you were viewed by some you cared about, about how you were valued( or not)when you were hurting physically, no less. Those at traumatic- and hard to recount, and really hard to get comfy with. I am sorry if I did not address that in my comments. Your pain at the time is evident, and it was enough to kill your love. I hope that you are moving forward towards a better future.
      -Dinah

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      Like Dory says.....just keep swimming

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • DinahMoeHumm
      DinahMoeHumm

      So true- and after the field of huge jellyfish (Man o'wars?) w/ pain and the unreality of it all, the rest should be easy going......

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      Lol. Thats a nice analogy to a bad marriage.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    7 More Replies
  • girlmcgirly
    girlmcgirly

    I'm sorry you've had to bear that weight...that cruelty. (hugs) I hope your peace finds you! ***hugs***

    Sep 17, 2012
    2 likes
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      Peace comes from within so I am gradually getting there. That is the past and Im focusing on my future.

      Thanks for the hugs.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • girlmcgirly
      girlmcgirly

      Smart words and smart idea. The hugs are always here if ya need em. :)

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
    • Verwandlung
      Verwandlung

      The pain of the past is there....Ill look forward to the future and hugs.

      Sep 17, 2012
      1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    THe way I interpreted it jerrica, she was because I was making all the money. It was one of those things that I feel she didnt think at all how her words would affect me.

    Mar 2, 2011
    1 like
  • jerrica
    jerrica

    that's just lousy. does she even care that you could have been killed?? *shakes head*

    Mar 2, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    Playing Sherlock?

    Mar 2, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    *Pulls out magnifying glass.*

    Mar 1, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    Oh do you now? Errr... how close?

    Mar 1, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Might need to look close

    Feb 28, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    Sweet... thank you, sire...

    Feb 28, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Im looking at the pieces. : )

    Feb 28, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    And you just said you love a challenge... *pouts*

    Feb 27, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Hmmmmmm

    Feb 27, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    *dumps a sack full of puzzle pieces onto Dean's lap*



    Just say when...

    Feb 26, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    I love a challange.

    Feb 24, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    *mumbles*... I'm trying... waaahh...



    Dammit... *faerie takes vacuum cleaner*



    Looks like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle... wanna help...?

    Feb 23, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    The hard parts finding all the pieces. You have to do that before you can glue them together.

    Feb 23, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    How strange when something unexpected becomes the realization of something else... all for a reason, sire...



    So... did you find any glue? ...

    Feb 21, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Th e odd thing about it is I dont think of that as the beginning of the end. It was just at that moment I realized it.

    Feb 21, 2011
    1 like
  • Queenofargyll
    Queenofargyll

    Wow..that's incredibly cruel. I'm sorry Deanze. *hugs*

    Feb 21, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Thank you kuro-unfortunaately I dont think theres been any growth from that day.



    *runs to the garage for glue*

    Feb 21, 2011
    1 like
  • Mameha
    Mameha

    it makes me sad to read it.. a wife should never, EVER, say something like that.. i hope things will get better for you..*hugs*

    Feb 21, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    It happens when you least expect it... or perhaps because we choose to ignore the signs... because we already know it will hurt... so the wall helps... feels safe... until it's climbed over... because one feels the need to be on that edge... to take the chance... again... to fall apart or not... well...



    Got any super glue?

    Feb 19, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    I dont want you to come apart faerie.

    Feb 19, 2011
    1 like
  • Sylphy
    Sylphy

    I can be Humpty Dumpty... ??? Faerie likes walls...



    I'm not helping, am I?

    Feb 13, 2011
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Thank you very much. All of the comments were along those lines, very supportive and understanding. At the time it happened I didnt realize how deeply it affected me but now, several bitter years down the road, I know that it was the point of no return. Unfortunately all the kings horses and all the kings men have been unsuccessful at reconstructing it, and this king is weary of it all.

    Dec 1, 2010
    1 like
  • girlmcgirly
    girlmcgirly

    First I am going to say I only read your story and not the comments after...so I don't know what other people have said to you or where you are at this moment...but



    I am so sorry that someone, especially someone you think of as a partner, friend and lover would say such a thing that would make you feel that way. It's so hard when someone slaps us in the face with their truth and it is so far removed from what we thought.



    I'm sorry and I truly hope you've found something somewhere that makes you feel better about your own self worth!

    Dec 1, 2010
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Actually, she does treat them similarly. Shes distant to most emotions except anger.

    Sep 28, 2010
    1 like
  • DeadOfDecember
    DeadOfDecember

    That's just COLD... And selfish... How long has she treated you like this? I would leave if I were in your position, theory being if she treats your emotions that way, could she be treating the kids similarly? You won't always know, I can tell you from experience. My heart really goes out to you... **HUGS**

    Sep 23, 2010
    1 like
  • Verwandlung
    Verwandlung

    Thanks bella, im sure she didnt but its the ctions over the years that hurt the worst. Those are the opportunities she had to prove it was a mistake but it never happened. Everything shes done has pretty much reinforced those sentiments.



    *hugs the dark faerie and gingerly takes axe away*

    Sep 14, 2010
    1 like
  • bellas31
    bellas31

    Sorry Dean,sometimes people don't think about the words they utter and how it affects others...



    *bigs hugs to you*

    Sep 14, 2010
    1 like

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