Ouch!

"Failure". I've tried so hard all my life to be there for others, to achieve the "american dream" and stand for brotherhood and equality, all to be ridiculed, lied to, insulted, and abused verbally, physically, and mentally. I've given my spiritual experiences and comfort to others who have literally tarnished them, brandishing words and fists and the like. I've been told I wasn't a man, because men don't feel (lol, what do you call anger, nimrod?), I've been called abusive to women and never laid a finger on one, I've been called a liar, yet told nothing but the absolute truth as I knew it. I've been called crazy, and humiliated by large groups of people. I've been abandoned and forgotten about, being shown that I don't matter. But, the word that kills me is "failure", because in social context, it quite literally means I should not exist. It means that, as much as I've put my good foot forward, it was always the wrong idea; that being myself all these years has led me to be miserable and hated. Quite frankly; to be happy, I must undo myself, and be created in the image of others' approval... i.e.- the real "me" should have never been. Fail. I need a beer...