My Ex

Divorce brings out the worst in people (at least in my experience it does)
My 2nd husband told me durign divorce that I ruined his life and "for the sake of the world, don't get involved with anyone else or you'll just ruin their life too."
That was the most hurtful thing ever said to me and I'll never forget it no matter how much he apologizes and says he didnt' mean it and that he still loves me. How can I feel like he cares when he said such horrible thing to me?
kzoodiana kzoodiana
36-40, F
2 Responses May 23, 2012

That one struck me; my ex said the very same thing. It might have really wounded me deeply for a very long time, save that by the time I finally opted for a divorce I wanted away from her so badly I was actually grateful we didn't have children (though that had been part of the reason for the end). What was striking over the next few weeks was the recovery process as HER friends kept approaching me and congratulating me, saying I was much better off without her and they'd always wondered how a nice guy had ended up with someone so awful.

How can you feel like he cares when he said such an awful thing? You really can't, because while people may lash out, there are some lashings which simply cross a line from which there is no returning.

It seems as though people in relationships and marriages that go bad,do not want to take responsibility for their part,and so they shift all of the responsibility onto the other person.It takes two to make it work,and it takes two to make it break.It truly is sad how something that seems so wonderful in the beginning,can end in such misery.No one is perfect,but I think that there are people who can rob another of their power by way of insidious and suttle mind control methods.I am not saying that this is true in your instance,but the human psyche is very complex with la<x>yers of experience that make a person behave in certain ways.I have done much research about human behavior and it is easy to see after the fact.I wish for you that you can move beyond the hurt and heal and love again.That is the only true happiness in this world,to love and be loved,and be accepted for who and what you are.At least for me,it is.And I loathe it when others say you have to love yourself first,because it just ignores all of the chemical reactions,or lack of,in the brain.That is what it really comes down to.