Whew...

If I could tell myself anything it would probably be something like this:
Don't regret having to take care of your nephew so much, someday you'll be so happy for all the time (2 yrs basically. My sister had different operations so I had to watch him ) you spent with him and the connection you 2 made. Some day down the line , when so much seems hopeless, you'll think of him and his smile, and you'll find the inner strength to go on. You'll wish you had even more time with him, and you'll feel so bad for the times you were unenthusiastic about watching him.
I know sometimes it's difficult to get along with different ones in your family, everyone has their personality quircks, but make sure you don't hold them for too long. Keep looking for the good and focusing on the love, because there is so much of that in your family and you're blest to have it. In a couple of years you're going to move away from most of them, and you'll look back on these times and see them as the treasure they truly were.
one summer your best friend is going to stay over. It's going to be really fun, but at the same time there's going to be alot of drama. At times you're going to be really frustrated and annoyed with her. She'll be acting like a crab at times. But she has a reason, you know that guy your doing stuff with, that you sort of like but not really, she really really likes him. She's really jelous and it's because of that that she's acting the way she is. She doesn't mean it though. So if possible save her the trouble and just don't get with him, because it doesn't mean that much to you but it means the world to her, and someday it will to him too. So enjoy the summer, do fun things, and be happy. She'll tell you to do some totally stupid things, saying she'll do them too, but won't but it's okay, because you'll look back and know that it was the greatest summer of your life.

The year 2001, it was a month before your birthday you were going to turn eight and you wanted to plan it all out. You were thinking of writing one of your older brothers to "invite him" to your party even though he was really far away. You had this strange feeling to do that but you didn't. You need to write him. Tell him that you love him so much, that he means the world to you. Tell him you don't want him to do what he did, because even though right now he might feel really depressed and his world might be upside down, you need him to not do it for you. He needs to know that you all love him. So do that. Even if he still does it, he just needs to know that you love him.

That one night you first did anything with a guy, have fun but don't get emotionally attached. You're still young and although it's very easy to feel like you love him, in reality you might not. So do it, have fun, but be careful. Learn to move on fast. You don't have to make excuses for people, just accept that they don't feel the same way, but don't waste so much time thinking that it's something wrong with you. It's not, that's just the way some people act.

Don't be afraid to step out and try new things. Don't let your fear of falling or messing up keep you from stepping out and becoming everything you can. Sure, some peopel won't like you, sure you'll make mistakes, but none of that has to hold you back. there's always a new start to things, you can always get up again. Don't let people push you into being what they want you to be. Be free to be yourself, they'll love you more for it.

In saying some of this I feel kind of silly, because honestly I'm not that old. I hopefully still have a ways to go, but these are things I would have liked to know a bit earlier or that I tell myself each day . In saying some of this this I'm not saying I regret any of my past. I know that even though it was very hard at times, it's made me what I am and taught me the lessons I need to learn.
sloshy sloshy
18-21, F
Jul 13, 2010