My Id, My Ego, And Definately My Alter Ego!

Since my first conscious thought, I identified with the other girls around me. At that time I had no idea I wasn't a girl, except that mom kept putting really ugly clothing on me. Unfortunately I didn't have a sister to borrow from, as I would have insisted mom let me borrow her clothes. It wasn't until It was demanded that I wear what I'm told as I was not a girl and that I had to dress and act like a boy for my own good! lol!. That I had to start and learn to survive. I guess, I want to say, I have been, and am influenced by feminine styles and many women that were in my world at that early stage of life. But, it's only because I desired to emulate what it is that I feel I am.

Some of those I would emulate were, of course Ninnette Funicello, Barbara Billingsley, Haley Milles. What was really interesting was that after great dissappointment about not being a girl, I was enlighted with the concept of still wearing a dress, when I went to see the movie, "The Vienna Boys Choir" In it, there was a skit were some of the boys dressed like girls! It was from that point on, I knew there was a bright and shinny future!
JoanieNewHampshire JoanieNewHampshire
61-65, T
3 Responses May 1, 2012

Nice story.<br />
It was not hard for me to decide who to emulate, it was my own mother.<br />
A sweet sexy loving mother to me, she knew I was different to my older brother and treated me different, not telling me to be more like him.<br />
It was not that hard for me to do, in fact it was so easy for me to be like her, I just have to let me be me. <br />
My mother and I both would get into trouble with my dad for her treating me like a girl and me behaving like a girl. <br />
She just let me be me and she would defend my right to be me.<br />
In ways I wish I had her guts back then to defend my right to be me instead I tried to be his little man only because I didn't want him to go mad at my mother and doing that only distanced myself from my own mother and not closer to him.<br />
It was only after the divorce that I let my mother treat me as me and it took a long time for me to find me again.<br />
<br />
If only he knew what he did to me for not letting me be me, trying to be something I am not had became a part of me for many years after that and that only lead to no confidence and confusion on who I am.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, Robyn! Your mother sounds like she is/was an angle. Not because she offered her feminine, but because she knew you would accept it! I'm sorry that dad clouded and confused the issue. His ego (like many men) It's something they believe the must pass on disrespectful of their offspring, especially their sons. If only more parents understood that they have a precious individual that has been loaned to them for a short time, and that time should be spent developing that individual with good intent and good manners, not a carbon copy of themselves, Hugs! and at least you had that chance to reconnect with mom

Thanks Sammi!!!

Fabulous sweetie<br />
Hugs<br />