A "Real Man" Is A "Real Person"

I'm tired of hearing the term, "real man". As if to suggest that because I may not possess certain traits or characteristics that somehow I'm "less of a man" (whatever that means) or "not a (real) man". Believe me, biologically speaking, I am very much a real man.

I'm tired of people saying that I'm "not a real man" because:
  1. I don't like things they like, for example, fighting and violence.
  2. I cry. Okay, I don't cry habitually or frequently in fact; I seldom do, but when I experience strong enough pain (whether or physically or emotionally) I will not fight back tears. I'm smart enough to know: that's not healthy.
  3. I get sick. Some people are born with a weak immune system; they can't help getting sick. In fact, all humans are known to get sick from time to time; therefore, male human beings can get sick. Logically speaking it follows that, if a "real" man can't get sick, then there is no such thing as a "real" man.
  4. I show emotions. See #2 and in addition to that, suppressing human emotions induces stress; it's very unhealthy. In fact, there's an entire EP group that understands this. There are even studies that show that suppressing emotions generally doesn't work; that there's actually a "rebound effect" due to "thought suppression" that can exacerbate negative emotions. Any man who thinks they're being "real" by suppressing emotions is deluding himself or "living in fantasy land;" so much for being "real".
  5. I'm not macho, which is basically "a man who is aggressively proud of his masculinity." But what's there to be proud about? I did not choose my gender; I was born that way. It's one thing to be proud of accomplishments, but where's the logic in being "proud to be a man".
  6. I don't binge on alcohol. I've tried it, I don't care for it, and I don't know what it has to do with being a "real" man. I don't even know what it has to do with being a man. I've been told that there may be historical significance, but I'm not the kind of person caught up in "tradition." It goes hand-in-hand with questioning things people tell me to do. I just don't like to blindly go with whatever people tell me to do.
By the way, I found some of those aforementioned characteristics in columns on "how to be a real man" on various websites. Those websites list other characteristics such as:
  • Being responsible
  • Cares about family
  • Can defend himself
  • Keeps fit
  • Offers firm handshakes
But if you ask me, those characteristics shouldn't just apply to "real men," they should apply to everyone.

That being said, everybody seems to have a different idea as to what a "real man" is like, so I doubt there's a universally accepted definition. Also, I find that a lot of criteria for being a "real man" don't just apply to men. So instead of working on being a "real man," I think I'm (and every individual is) better off working on being a "good person." The way I see it, I am very much a real man, as I am a "hu-man." So let me be one.
SuperAquaboy SuperAquaboy
26-30, M
1 Response Sep 30, 2011

Hi :) this is a perfect article I found online about a real man :) http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/the-real-truth-about-boring-men-and-the-women-who-live-with-them-redefining-boring/

It has brought me to a lot of perspective