So What?

It is so aggravating that our society makes clothing a priority in deciding what someones' character is. We are more focused on what goes over or skin than what is underneath it.

deleted deleted
26-30
12 Responses Feb 11, 2009

Not sure how I would react if I was dating a girl and found out she was dressing up like a dude like with fake facial hair or something . I think that would be hella gross. I really do think that gender segregation is bull **** though and we should just have clothing for every one not for men or for women. Of course that would end cross dressing as men and women might look like any thing you wouldn't be able to say this is "woman's " clothing and this is "men's" clothing. Personally I would LOVE a world like that. I love tights and wet look leggings but I can't wear them because of harassment.

Wow... it's amazing that you were able to extend the hand of tolerance and still be treated like that. What a horrible person, and yes it had nothing to do with their sense of fashion.<br />
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And I totally agree that people should be open and upfront about their kinks or whatever you want to call it. The bait and switch isn't cool, but sadly some people haven't come to terms with their 'thing' themselves, so they don't know how to be upfront with it.<br />
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There's quite a bit of mental processes that we have to go through in order to find comfort in ourselves. We spend years beating ourselves up for being a freak. We go through cycles of gathering clothes, and then throwing them out so we can quit... only to be back where we started a few months or weeks later. It's sad but society doesn't say, "its ok to be differnt so embrace it"... some of us come to that realization later in life.. I didn't get there until I was 30.<br />
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When I started dating I made sure the ladies knew I liked wearing pantyhose... and they accepted it pretty well. I didn't come up in a first date, but it did come up very early. When things got serious with my now fiance' I told her and she accepted and embraced it. After we dated for a couple years I started having that desire to wear other things again... oddly enough I had stopped wearing other things after high school and thought I was over it.<br />
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I sat her down and shared very openly my desires, that yes I found it kind of silly, and why I thought I had them. She agree to give it a try and see what happened. That was nearly a year ago and she has embraced that too. I don't wear make-up or try to pass, I just enjoy wearing short skirts and lingere. It adds some fun spice to our lives and we both have fun with it. I think it worked out because I was honest with her about it as soon as I knew what was up.<br />
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I would have been ok just wearing pantyhose though, but the rest is just fun. I feel sexy in a skirt in a way thay I never have in guy clothes... I find them boring and lacking in options. I find the female form sexy, so its am emulation of that... it sort of channels those sexy feelings for me. My love loves it, and loves the way it makes me feel... she never makes me feel uncomfortable or sick, or weird. I'm truly lucky to have found her... you crazy guys were lucky to have found understanding women too, but they blew it by being jerk wads.<br />
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Thanks for your support :) Just wanted you to know that not all of us are nuts.

Exactly Qaz, it had nothing to do with him wanting to feel feminine! It was all about the drug abuse! He could have been the most Masculine guy (or the most feminine guy) under the sun, but by abusing drugs and therefore me; was the Meth talking!<br />
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You know I do consider myself a heterosexual woman, but I have been attracted to females before! But the ones I was attracted to were soft, feminine women!<br />
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I guess what I'm saying is --- I like my men Masculine and my Women feminine!! LOL<br />
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.......... Maybe I am Bi-Sexual??? ha ha

WM- ((hugs)) girlfriend. You are attracted to whatever does it for you but that guy was probably so much difficulty for you because of the meth use/abuse! When you just love the person, you can adapt sometimes to all the other stuff. But drug use changes everything. I'm so sorry that all happened.<br />
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I guess because I liked being with girls as much as guys, that I didn't mind 'girlie' guys. It isn't the outer package so much for me but who's inside.<br />
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Thanks, PW, for such a great conversation thread. :)

You're both so right! It comes down to one's own personal preference! It is the beauty within that matters. Plus, I'm no one's judge and jury and frankly it's none of my business what people choose to do in their lives!<br />
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It just so happens in my situation, this guy was handsome and sexy on the outside and vile and disgusting on the inside!!! NOT because of the cross dressing but of the beatings and black eyes I received from him! He felt so guilty (in his own mind) that he took it out on me!<br />
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I remember he would dress up in his feminine clothing and be the sweetest person ever! But as soon as he got bored with it and take of his female clothes and make-up he would Freak Out!!<br />
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He blamed me and said I was "sick" to go along with it, and then the beatings would start!!<br />
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Very, very confusing!!

agreed!

Thank you PhysicalWreck, and grits,<br />
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You know I really did try for almost a year to accept it! I even went with him and helped pick out clothes and gave hime "female" fashion advice! Lol<br />
I mean I really did love this man!<br />
I really gave it hell because I was Hugely attracted to him when he was dressed as a man in his jeans, boots, and stetson! (By the way---he was a cowboy)<br />
He was tall and masculine and had the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen!<br />
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But as soon as he put on his "female" attire, the sexual attraction vanished into thin air!<br />
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Like OMGMeToo said, if I wanted to be with a woman I would be a lesbian, or even if I was bi-sexual I would still want a real woman!<br />
That whole experience confused the Hell out of me!<br />
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How could I be so fiercely attracted to him one minute and so completely Not attracted the next?!<br />
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I would have no problem having cross dressing friends and hang out as gal pals by any means!!<br />
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I just wouldn't want to have sex with them!!!

yes, honesty should be the first thing in a relationship. Even if these men wanted to dress the way they felt like it should have been something that was talked about with you once the awarance was there that the relationship was going to be more than a "just friends" one.

Wow, OMGMeToo, <br />
I went through the same thing! I started dating this guy who was Gorgeous and real masculine on the outside! Well, a few months into the relatonship, I started finding womens clothes, panties, shoes, make-up, etc<br />
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My first reaction was that he was cheating on me, but I could find no other evidence of that. This went on for awhile, and when I started finding water balloons hidden in odd places, it dawned on me that perhaps he was cross dressing in private! He denied it when I asked him about it and then became defensive!<br />
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Well, needless to say, not only was he cross dressing behind my back he was also smoking meth!<br />
I loved him and told him if he wanted to cross dress that was his business, but that I personnaly (as a hetero woman) was not attracted to him when he was being "feminine" but that I was Extremely attracted to him when he was in "masculine" mode!<br />
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Anyway, he made "me" feel ashamed that I couldn't "get in the mood" when he was wearing his feminine clothing and he eventually became ashamed of what he was doing (I never insulted him for his secret desire to be a woman) but he would get embarassed about it (and especially because by now he was deep into drug use) he started getting pysically abusive! <br />
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I had to get out of that relationship, not because of the cross dressing (I like to think I'm an open-minded and non judgemental person) but because of the drug use and abuse!!<br />
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Sorry I'm rambling, but it's like OMGMeToo was saying about the "bait and switch" <br />
I shouldn't feel guilty because I'm a hetero woman with healthy sexual appetites of my own! I can't help it that I want a "Masculine" man for my sexual partner!<br />
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Now cross dressing or homosexual friends, I have <br />
absolutely No problem with!<br />
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But I guess that's the point, they are my "friends" and not my sexual partner!

Living on Capitol Hill, Seattle in the mid-90's I was immersed in LGBT lifestyles. I personally LOVED the eclectic variety. I loved being part of the community without labels. The only experience I had with labels there, was in the personals ads.<br />
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My best bud had his head shaved, wore fishnets, platforms, hot pants and boas whenever we went out. We shared clothes. He was welcoming to me when I was alone and he's a great friend.<br />
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I think America is caught up in labels and the microscope. For me, it never mattered what was worn but how you treated me.

Whoa! I have personal experience with this. I was in a hetero relationship, living with a boyfriend. He decided to experiment with crossdressing for his own enjoyment it was not part of any thing to do with me. Truthfully, I would have preferred to NOT know. Yup, I got the rap about "I'm the same person on the inside" But my contention is that if I had wanted to be with a chick, I would be a lesbian--no one can help what they like! And I did not feel that I should have to apologize for being a plain old boring hetero woman who liked men. It's just how I was wired, and I was furious with him for doing a "bait-and-switch" in the middle of of a relationship. I'm not gay, and I didn't want to kiss, cuddle or anything else with someone that looked like, smelled like, tried to sound like, another chick...by the the way, he actually "passed" pretty well.....long story, short: We disintegrated into roommates, then I began dating a regular-man-kinda-guy. He moved out soon after, and we did not stay in contact. I still say it was a dirty trick--he should have found someone who was into similar interests from the get-go.

You have much to learn about crossdressers! Most are hetrosexual in every way!

Didn't dresses come before pants for men anyway?<br />
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Clothes, beauty, and all the other stuff is just a way to make people think they are not good enough or too different through advertising.<br />
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Wear what you want and be happy. What matters is what is on the inside.