My Rude Awakening - Miracles

The last fifty (50) years I have been sensitive to the needs of others.  Sometimes, my sensitivity even reached out to the "wants" of others. Do we really reap what we sow? I always thought, no matter what, when it came down to the "wire" my previous actions would see me though.  It has been hard for me to write about "myself", I see myself in many of the postings, statements and comments made here.  Several of the groups would be a fit for me.  If not at this moment, certainly in a "been there, done that" kind of way.  I believe in a custom package for the individual.  The thing is, is the individual honest or is it a scam? The problems I now have are directly related to my disregarding age old advice:  Look out for Number One.  I have no savings, not because I was not thrifty, my savings has been depleted, I have none.  This is not very I've never been able to "save" much.  Family, friends and strangers needed it more than I needed to see my balance grow in a bank account.  Who could know what today's economy would hold or not hold for any of us.  My money is not gone due to the work of con artists, scammers or bad investments.  Every time I "helped" someone, it was a blessing to them.  Years ago, during the disco era, I passed up many chances to buy the most fashionable outfits to hit the dance floors in, passed up the best Broadway, concert & event tickets to use my money to buy prescription medicines for elderly friends who needed the prescriptions, but could not buy them because they lived on "fixed" incomes.  I paid rent for people to keep them from getting thrown out on the street.  When the weather reports predicted an impending snow storm,  I shopped for elderly friends, using my own money to make sure everyone would survive being snowed in.  Somehow I really believed that each dollar I invested for a good cause would be "returned" to me in some miraculous way, when my day came and I was in need.  Yesterday, I was at my wits end.  I took an inventory of family and friends, the ones that are here now.  Those that have used my shoulders, picked my brain, picked my pockets, sought and received whatever was needed of me....and now my rude awakening.  No one wants to be "bothered".  Everyone is afraid of the economy, no one can help me.  They all appreciate what I have done in th past, but, things are different ... today it is not wise to "let" anyone have a dollar.  In my past, I have given hundreds of dollars.  I've helped my family and friends through whatever was going on for them at the time.  Now, the amount of help that I need is so small compared to my several years of being there for them. It hurts me to know I was a fool to squander my money in the "dire straights" time for them, and now when I need, those that can, won't.  It is all in the hearts, mind and soul.  My heart, mind and soul went out to them.  Now, I am the "elderly" one.  I need their help.  No one sees me, no one feels what I am going through.  We are supposed to reap what we sow.  I sowed good, kind and nice things so I would reap these things now.  I also believe that the people who should care now don't, but, there is always a chance for a miracle to happen to and for me.  I refuse to believe I am a lost cause.  My situation can change at any moment, I just know the change will not be coming from or through those who could have and should have reciprocated and remembered "when".

GraceBMine GraceBMine
61-65, F
3 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Vince is right. There is a difference between helping others and becoming a door mat. <br />
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I suspect what I am going to say will be painful. I get the impression that you volunteered to help more frequently than you were asked to help? Those were your choices. Now when you ask -- particularly the same people -- they say no. Those are their choices. You expect them to make the same decisions you would make, but they don't. This is the sense that I get. Am I correct?<br />
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It hurts to hear that you have spent the majority of your life expecting others to behave as you behave. They just don't. And being nice does not require you to take care of others while neglecting yourself. However, they must live with their decisions, just as you live with yours. <br />
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I am sorry.

wow!!!! Your story sounds similiar to my wife and I. We've always helped people, but when things got tough or turned for the better, they were the first to leave with no "thank you's" or kind words, especially family. We bought a house, big enough for friends and family. My mother inlaw and a friend of mine moved in. Since she (inlaw) took care of our children while we worked, she was charged a very very low rent, (if any). Now mind you she also spike my energy bills, water. gas....etc... Free cable..etc..<br />
So one day she decides to move. The next day she no warning, no heads up...nothing.<br />
Next, my friend moved in. He lived w/ us for four months, free cable, free utilities.... and only gave me $80 the entire four months of him the boot!!!<br />
Next, my wifes father (father-figure)and brother move in. My wife and her brother get into an argument, a door gets broken, he moves out and the father goes running after<br />
so again, helping people and they just bounce on you.... Beleive me the list can go on and on and on...... My point of the story is I learned to cut it off now, while in my late 20's/early 30's.<br />
I am sorry you had to learn later, but, better now that even later. Remember being kind is the way to be, just dont sacrifice your well being by doing so.

I will be in your place in a few years. I have given what little I have. I would rather have given.