That Life Had An Undo Button


I am the computer
and each day i write my life
and when i made the mistake to
listen to that stupid guidance counselor back in 1977?
hit undo
and not listen

when i took the job with the carpet and the music
instead of the basement warehouse job that would've taught me everything?
hit undo
and take the basement job

when my parents made me feel that i was too young and irresponsible to buy my mom's house in 1979-80ish?
hit undo
and at least tried to get a mortgage

when my mother told me OH NO don't take out an IRA!!! what happens if you need your money? you cant get it!!!
heavens to mergatroid, first time i listened!!!!
hit undo
invest in an IRA----lol


when i met the man
that was to be my husband
hit undo
uh oh.........but what about my daughter i had with him?
hit undo back the other way now
go back and marry the man
so i could have my daughter
i wouldn't change a thing


spend to much money on junk
hit undo
and open an IRA account


i became a wimp and gave my daughter to much
never said no
tried to compensate for missing parent
hit undo
and be strong and firm and say NO when needed


many many too many little things
hit undo, hit undo, hit undo


the day i decided to date another man
became another day that i decided to get engaged
if i knew the future then i would have hit undo

my daughter left the house on 6/21/08
hit undo

maybe she wouldn't have died that nite

my daughter did die
hit undo

her friends told me that she felt abandoned by me
when i got engaged
that's why i wish i could hit undo
back when i first decided to date another man


SOOOOOO, what do i wish for most?

That i could go back and never have dated anyone till my daughter
grew up and was on her own we were too close
I could have waited
kids and parents weren't like that years ago,but now they are...

That's what i wish for most
I have no idea if it would have changed anything
But that's what i wish for most
OTHER THAN THE OBVIOUS THAT I WISH MY DAUGHTER HADN'T' DIED

RIP  DJL  2/7/90  TO 6/21/08

PS-- to anyone who really knows me that reads this, i mean no offense to anyone like my first husband or my other fiance or my husband now.  i loved the first two at one time and i still love my husband very much.

PEACE  <3




iamstillrighthere iamstillrighthere
51-55, F
1 Response Jul 22, 2010

thats really interesting. u know thats kinda what i meant in the back ground of what i was trying to say. at least now that u put it in words. gaining or losing? its a crapshoot, huh?