Greatest Desire

I want my kids to be happy and successful, unhindered by any set backs stemming from any short coming of mine or their mother. I intend to work toward this end, though my divorce has made it very difficult.

I make a point of avoiding "wishing", wishing is a curse of poor diligence or total lack of diligence. I recognize the existence of motivational barriers and yet still suffer from them greatly, doubt; angst; fear; procrastination to name just a few. But, there is no greater purpose to my life than providing for, caring for, and loving my children.

I am afraid my feeble persona is naturally incapable of handling the solitude of absolute dedication to the purpose of ensuring my children's future. My nerves have 'shattered' and I now convalesce in constant suffering of anxiety and panic. This not only hinders me from obtaining this goal, which I am left to assume comes easily to those that do not obsess over it as I do, but also prevents me from simply functioning.

I need a solution, not an answer. I have answers and the questions to go with them, answers are wanting of questions and remain elements of the cerebral, imagery of the mind lacking substance and sometimes relevance.