To The Brother I've missed...................

I look back on are times as kids and I know things were hard. Mom and dad always strung out and never really around to teach us how to grow. The times we spent outside in the garage playing pool or the times we spent laughing together playing video games. The times I spent standing up for you because kids always made fun of your ears. I know they were big and when a gust of wind came I would hold your ankles afraid you would fly away but not because I was making fun of you but only because I would of been alone and you were my brother who I protected. As I lay here knowing my days are ending I reach out to you asking for you to forgive me for leaving and making a life for myself. I know you were young and even though you never blinked and said you would be okay, I know that you had pain. I look back on it each day and I ask myself why? Why did I leave you and go and try to make a life for myself, why did I not take you with me? The reason is, mom. Mom needed you little man. Who would be there to hold her hand after dad yelled at her and told her how bad she was, how much she mad him mad. Who would be there to protect her when know one else was. In my heart I wanted to take you with me but I knew someone had to be there for mom and if I was not there that you would be the one to handle it. I knew you were strong and I knew that she would okay. But now as I lay here looking out this window for a 15 year old boy that was to much to handle. I know in my head I was doing right but now here looking out this window I know now I was wrong. Please forgive. I do not want to die knowing that my little brother will not accept that I am sorry for leaving. I do not want to take my last breath knowing that my little brother does not love me or has hate for me because I left him alone. Please allow me to die in peace knowing that even if its not true that you will accept that I am sorry. Allow me to say Steven I am sorry, I am your sister and I love you and I am sorry for leaving you.
This is one thing I would say if I was dying only because I want my little brother to know I love him and I am sorry however I have tried over and over to tell him but at least if I do die maybe one day he will find this and read it and know I am sorry and I have always loved him and will always look over him know matter were he is. I love you brother always and forever D.R.B Jan.12th 2013
heretolisten heretolisten
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 12, 2013

That is so sad!!