My All Time Low...

I'm going to admit to myself that I'm really scared to venture off by myself and that I've become dependent on him. Things happened, my feelings changed, but my mind just won't kick my butt into gear to just ready myself for a whole big world on my own. I trust him but I don't but all signs point to the road he isn't walking. Why can't my soulmate/SO/the ONE just drop out of the sky like Thor???
Grr...then I see that **** and I'm like hell no your not doing this sh*t again, which must be another reason why I'm not leaving...I'm terrible.
And I hate that she is the girl everyone likes, yet I'm the dreamer who doesn't really socialize. This is probably why he me for her and now she's back and he can't not be friends with her.
Hey though, if I could and had the funds my *** would be scouting for a new apartment and getting back my independence again.
I'm conflicted though because he says he loves me and wants to marry me and she's nothing to him now, yet she's gotta be in his life even after all that drama. Maybe I need to pick up my self respect while I'm working on my independence. Boy I could cry right now.
ladybugsonthebeach ladybugsonthebeach
22-25, F
May 20, 2012