Getting Involved W/ A Man W/ A Child From A Previous Relationship


I absolutely HATE being a custodial stepmother.

Being a custodial stepmother is much more difficult than being a stepFATHER or a NON-custodial stepmother.  There are very few supports for custodial stepmothers.  Custodial stepmothers have the Wicked Stepmother myth looming overhead at all times.

If I was given the chance- And, of course, this is totally setting aside my two wonderful children that I've had with my stepson's father (my husband).- I would turn back time, & NEVER, EVER, EVER get involved with a guy who has a child(ren) from a previous relationship.

It is a NIGHTMARE & pure HELL.

Not only is my relationship with my stepson severely strained, but his non-custodial bio mother is a nightmare, as are her whacked parents.

I hold a lot of anger, bitterness & resentment towards my husband, the decisions & choices that he's made, the things that he's done behind my back, his lack of support for me as my stepson's stepmother, his treating me as if I'M the enemy & his ex is his FRIEND, & the never-ending disappointments that he continues to put me thru.  All of this has severely affected our marriage.

Whenever I hear of a woman speaking of dating a man with a child(ren), I want to scream to her, "RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!" I sure wish that I would have. It's been the biggest mistake of my life, & a decision which I would undoubtedly change, given the chance to go back, & assuming that our two beautiful children didn't result from our relationship/marriage.

I stay. I stay b/c I don't want to have my children go thru what my stepson goes thru. I don't want them to end up with a stepmom like me.


scapegoatprophecy scapegoatprophecy
2 Responses Mar 16, 2009

This is so my story! I am in the same situation. I hate that my husband has a child from a previous relationship. No matter how old that child gets they are still dependant on your husband. I too always tell people never to get involved with someone who has kids. It's just not worth the hassle. If I could do it all over again, well...... I wouldn't!!!

Bless, it sounds a bit like my life as a child. But now my stepmother and I are closer than ever. All that love and hard work that she gave me paid off as an adult. When I realized what a blessing it was to have her even though as a child I felt like cinderella because I had my two evil Stay strong and I am sure in the long run it will pay off and your step child will also realize how lucky he is to have a mother that cares so much even though you may not have given birth to him. My stepmom and dad spilt but my stepmom is still a huge part of me. its funny how it all worked out really. My real mom gave up and lived in a fantasy world and my step mom took all the blame because she wasn't my real mom and I blamed her for that. I resented her as a child for it. My dad never supported her either and she eventually moved on and is happoer now. The funny thing is my mom and dad are best friends now and perfect morons for eachother.lolx