Sorry to Say and Almost Impossible to Fix

 

My worst mistake in my life - marrying someone so incompatible.  Begging him to take me back when we called off the engagement - and then trying to "fix" our bad marriage long enough to have 2 children that are now innocent victims IF we decide to call it quits.

I can't ever undo this or fix it or even make it better - I think - I am stuck and there are no do-overs.  It is frustrating to me that one decision can have such an enormous and irreversible impact on your life.  It is depressing to me!  And I feel stuck - how's that for honesty?  There is no good decision to be made - all decisions have a negative impact - it is just deciding which decision has the least negative consequences for my children.

And then figuring out how to deal with it myself.  (I guess that is why I am going to see a professional!)

AnalyticalAly AnalyticalAly
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

My worst mistake has been denying who I am to myself and others. I have spent my life so far, more concerned about what made others happy and what would make them comfortable, while at the same time being miserable. <br />
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Life is too short to live that way, and so , despite all of the "stuff" that's been happening now that I have decided to be me, I know I am going to be better off in the end.

Same here...My worst mistake was marrying someone who was SO incompatable with me. I was sufferingsevere career burnout at the time and looking for a change.<br />
Boy, did I get one!<br />
We broke up several times before we were actually married, and each time my friends begged me not to go back. Out of pity, I did.<br />
Now I wish someone would pity me for a change.<br />
I've now had 17 years of an unending pity party for a needy, hostile, posessive, controlling/restictive elderly child. He's finally hit on a no-fail solution to clamp down on me: multiple health problems that are exacerbated by anything I do that he does'nt like (which is everything).<br />
I would not even recognize the person I used to be. And of dreams or wants of my own, they went out the window so very long ago I can't even imagine having them.