Nil Per Os

 Hands down, the single greatest mistake of my life...one that has hunted and haunted me for weeks...one that jaded my mind, eclipsed my non-existent soul in a fiery inferno of pain, torment, and indigestion, would have to be:

Ordering that Eggs Benedict at the local diner.

Seriously. It reached new, black-hole levels of suckage. It was the exact opposite of Tiramisu. Disgusting, flagrant, and wholeheartedly dastardly in appearance and taste. It was an affront to all things edible. I'm pretty sure I lost 15 years of my life by imbibing that godawful rubbish.

Also, it looked like death.