**** List

Well I've been working on a bucket list, I figured I was overdue for a **** list along with it. An example of a shitlist can be found below:

 


AGNOSTICISM What is this ****?


ALTRUISM Want some ****?


AMISH **** dost occur.


APATHISM I don't give a ****.


ATHEISM I don't believe this ****.


BA'HAI All **** is truly ****.


BUDDHISM **** happens.


BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM **** happens because the Bible says so.


CAPITALISM How much will this **** cost?


CARTESIANISM I ****, therefore I am.


CATHOLICISM If **** happens, you deserved it.


CLASSICAL Marxism The workers take all the ****, but they're gonna dish it back out again.


COMMUNISM It's everybody's ****.


CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "**** happens."


CREATION SCIENCE We have proof that God created all the **** that happens.


CONTRACT THEORY If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to ****.


DADISM Your mom knows her ****.


DARWINISM We came up from ****.


DESCARTES I **** therefore I am.


DIANETICS **** your way to a better life.


DOMINICANS Belive in ****, or we'll boil you in it.


DYSLEXIANISM Hits shapnep.


DISCORDIANISM This MIGHT be ****, but is instead a fuzzy 1955 Mustang.


Logical-Positivism **** = S+H+I+T


MARINES It's not just ****, it's an adventure.


MCCARTHYISM Are you now, or have you ever been, ****?


MENNONITE None of this modern **** now.


MOMISM You'll eat this **** and like it!


MORMONISM Your **** is ****, but our **** is the ONE TRUE ****.


MURPHISM **** always happens at the worst possible time and place.


NARCISSISM My **** don't stink.


NIETSCHE If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not ****.


NIHILISM Everything is ****.


NIXONISM **** didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it.


Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.


objectivism (Ann Rand) **** is ****.


PAGANISM **** happens. And is a part of nature.


PANGLOSSISM This is the best of all possible *****.


PLATONISM There is an ideal ****, of which all the **** that happens is but an imperfect image.


Protestantism Let **** happen to someone else.


RASTAFARIAN **** happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me.


ROBINISM (tv) Holy **** Batman!


RUSSEAU Only natural **** is worth ****.


Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this ****."


SHINTO **** is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect.


SKINNERISM If eat then ****.


SOLIPSISM All this **** is a creation of my imagination.


SOLIPSISM The only thing I can be sure of is that my **** happens.


SPOONERISM Hit shappens.


STALINISM The state treats you like ****.


SUBGENIUS Bob happens -- SO GIVE ME SOME SLACK!


SURREALISM **** is shiny and shaped like a buick.


Scientific-Creationism **** happens all at once


Secular-Humanism **** happens, but there's a rational explanation.


TAOISM The **** that happens is not the true ****.


THE-FORCE Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the ****.


TV-Evangelism you need our ****, but it'll cost you.


UNITARIANISM There's only one ****, but you can have it happen any way you want.


Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest **** for the greatest number.


VANDALISM I'm gonna wreck this ****!


VOODOOISM **** doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you


Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for **** to happen.


YUPPIEISM It's my ****! All mine!


ZEN What is the sound of **** happening?


COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF WORLD RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES


TAOISM **** Happens


CONFUCIANISM Confucius says, "**** Happens."


ZEN What is the sound of **** happening?


YOGA There's a full lotus **** happening.


TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION ****. ****. ****. ****. ****. ****.......


HINDUISM This **** has happened before.


ISLAM If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.


CATHOLICISM If **** happens, you deserve it.


FUNDAMENTALISM If **** happens, they deserve it.


PROTESTANTISM Let **** happen to someone else.


EPISCOPALIANISM When **** happens, make it tasteful.


JUDAISM Why does **** always happen to US?


MORMONISM ****'s going to happen. Stockpile.


UNITARIANISM Deal with your own **** happening.


TWELVE STEP PROGRAMS. We're powerless over ****. Turn **** over.


ASTROLOGY Uranus transits.


PERESTROIKA We can't control ****. Let **** happen.


AGNOSTICISM **** may or may not be happening; we don't know ****.


ATHEISM No ****.


GNOSTICISM Know ****.


My own list (to be edited in later)...


Taoism **** happens


Confucianism Confucius say, "**** happens."


Buddhism If **** happens, it isn't really ****.


Zen What is the sound of **** happening?


Hinduism This **** happened before.


Islam If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.


Islam If **** happens, take a hostage.


Protestantism Let **** happen to someone else.


Protestantism **** won't happen if I work harder.


Catholicism If **** happens, you deserve it.


Judaism Why does this **** always happen to us?


Atheism I don't believe this ****


Agnosticism What is this ****?


Unitarian What is this ****?


Hare Krishna **** happens rama rama ding ding.


7th Day Adventist **** happens on Saturdays.


Jehovah's Witness Knock, knock, "**** happens."


Mormon **** happens again & again & again.


Rastafarianism Let's smoke this ****!

I'm working on one of my own and no doubt, a chunk of the population will fall under it.

deleted deleted
26-30
3 Responses Mar 6, 2010

My favorite is Voodooism. :)

I love these lists!!

ROFLMBO at this list! I scared the receptionist laughing out loud when I got to HITS SHAPNEN. It reminded me of my 6 year old, who's trying to learn how to read. :O