**** List

Well I've been working on a bucket list, I figured I was overdue for a **** list along with it. An example of a shitlist can be found below:


AGNOSTICISM What is this ****?

ALTRUISM Want some ****?

AMISH **** dost occur.

APATHISM I don't give a ****.

ATHEISM I don't believe this ****.

BA'HAI All **** is truly ****.

BUDDHISM **** happens.

BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM **** happens because the Bible says so.

CAPITALISM How much will this **** cost?

CARTESIANISM I ****, therefore I am.

CATHOLICISM If **** happens, you deserved it.

CLASSICAL Marxism The workers take all the ****, but they're gonna dish it back out again.

COMMUNISM It's everybody's ****.

CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "**** happens."

CREATION SCIENCE We have proof that God created all the **** that happens.

CONTRACT THEORY If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to ****.

DADISM Your mom knows her ****.

DARWINISM We came up from ****.

DESCARTES I **** therefore I am.

DIANETICS **** your way to a better life.

DOMINICANS Belive in ****, or we'll boil you in it.

DYSLEXIANISM Hits shapnep.

DISCORDIANISM This MIGHT be ****, but is instead a fuzzy 1955 Mustang.

Logical-Positivism **** = S+H+I+T

MARINES It's not just ****, it's an adventure.

MCCARTHYISM Are you now, or have you ever been, ****?

MENNONITE None of this modern **** now.

MOMISM You'll eat this **** and like it!

MORMONISM Your **** is ****, but our **** is the ONE TRUE ****.

MURPHISM **** always happens at the worst possible time and place.

NARCISSISM My **** don't stink.

NIETSCHE If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not ****.

NIHILISM Everything is ****.

NIXONISM **** didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it.

Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.

objectivism (Ann Rand) **** is ****.

PAGANISM **** happens. And is a part of nature.

PANGLOSSISM This is the best of all possible *****.

PLATONISM There is an ideal ****, of which all the **** that happens is but an imperfect image.

Protestantism Let **** happen to someone else.

RASTAFARIAN **** happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me.

ROBINISM (tv) Holy **** Batman!

RUSSEAU Only natural **** is worth ****.

Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this ****."

SHINTO **** is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect.

SKINNERISM If eat then ****.

SOLIPSISM All this **** is a creation of my imagination.

SOLIPSISM The only thing I can be sure of is that my **** happens.

SPOONERISM Hit shappens.

STALINISM The state treats you like ****.


SURREALISM **** is shiny and shaped like a buick.

Scientific-Creationism **** happens all at once

Secular-Humanism **** happens, but there's a rational explanation.

TAOISM The **** that happens is not the true ****.

THE-FORCE Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the ****.

TV-Evangelism you need our ****, but it'll cost you.

UNITARIANISM There's only one ****, but you can have it happen any way you want.

Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest **** for the greatest number.

VANDALISM I'm gonna wreck this ****!

VOODOOISM **** doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you

Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for **** to happen.

YUPPIEISM It's my ****! All mine!

ZEN What is the sound of **** happening?


TAOISM **** Happens

CONFUCIANISM Confucius says, "**** Happens."

ZEN What is the sound of **** happening?

YOGA There's a full lotus **** happening.

TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION ****. ****. ****. ****. ****. ****.......

HINDUISM This **** has happened before.

ISLAM If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.

CATHOLICISM If **** happens, you deserve it.

FUNDAMENTALISM If **** happens, they deserve it.

PROTESTANTISM Let **** happen to someone else.

EPISCOPALIANISM When **** happens, make it tasteful.

JUDAISM Why does **** always happen to US?

MORMONISM ****'s going to happen. Stockpile.

UNITARIANISM Deal with your own **** happening.

TWELVE STEP PROGRAMS. We're powerless over ****. Turn **** over.

ASTROLOGY Uranus transits.

PERESTROIKA We can't control ****. Let **** happen.

AGNOSTICISM **** may or may not be happening; we don't know ****.

ATHEISM No ****.


My own list (to be edited in later)...

Taoism **** happens

Confucianism Confucius say, "**** happens."

Buddhism If **** happens, it isn't really ****.

Zen What is the sound of **** happening?

Hinduism This **** happened before.

Islam If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.

Islam If **** happens, take a hostage.

Protestantism Let **** happen to someone else.

Protestantism **** won't happen if I work harder.

Catholicism If **** happens, you deserve it.

Judaism Why does this **** always happen to us?

Atheism I don't believe this ****

Agnosticism What is this ****?

Unitarian What is this ****?

Hare Krishna **** happens rama rama ding ding.

7th Day Adventist **** happens on Saturdays.

Jehovah's Witness Knock, knock, "**** happens."

Mormon **** happens again & again & again.

Rastafarianism Let's smoke this ****!

I'm working on one of my own and no doubt, a chunk of the population will fall under it.

deleted deleted
3 Responses Mar 6, 2010

My favorite is Voodooism. :)

I love these lists!!

ROFLMBO at this list! I scared the receptionist laughing out loud when I got to HITS SHAPNEN. It reminded me of my 6 year old, who's trying to learn how to read. :O