Lonely, Overweight, Unhappy And Angry

I wasn't happy during high school, I was good at art, still life drawings, and english, geography and advanced maths (even though I lack the confidence), I was shy and nervous, hating my body image being fat and my awful red hair and pimples.  I had an interest in music and film and meditations.

I would go to the school counsellors alot as I was a mixed up kid, still going thru sexual abuse.

I left school after being bashed up and a girl taking photos of me she used for warping and making fun of fat  ugly girls- or that was what I was told- and I became very self conscience and felt like I was being mocked and taunted so I just stayed away. I was seriously depressed and missing Werner (who'd  suicided years before). i loved my cats. dreamed of owning a fluffy persian/or white tiffany.  i used to escape into listening to music and pop bands and classical music.

I had brig as a friend, and i only kept incontact with a few school friends after I left in year 9. I was interested in doing pharmacy, dental, journalism or legal. my sister was doing dental techincian course at the time but gave up. i liked skating but hadn't done it in years, but loved to watch the iceskating on tv, or diving and swimming, and loved cricket on tv too.

my dad wrote for a local paper and admin , but when he lost his job we had to leave the catholic school as fees were just too dear- i didn't want to be a burden on my parents. we couldn't afford much, no outings, no holidays, no clothes, or haircuts, not even sanitry napkins. we went to live with my grandmother, in an old farm house that only had 2and a half bedrooms to house 8 people. my sister and i sharde a single bed on the veranda. then we rented a house next door to my younger cousins, we had a lot of fun going to the water for swimin the bay nearby.

later I did correspondance schooling and felt better i was good at business principles, science, advanced maths, geography, english. i took singing and music lesssons, I wouldn't say i was good at either however.  i used to spend my weekends cleaning the house as i hated mess and still do, while listening to pop music videos clipz, or radio. Later I did drama, legal studies, media studies, history etc. and a little bit film production. I have no one great talent in any direction and nothing much has changed today...but I wish i was studying and with academic people again.

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2 Responses Feb 8, 2010

Hi<br />
I really hated school too they all called me horrible names and I feel Im still going throught it now. I do sympathise with you though.<br />
<br />

I apologize for how you had to live and for the people who made fun of you. That must have been terrible. At least you are an intelligent and caring individual. Bless you.