The Infidelity Effect - The Natural Attraction To Unfaithful Women



      A husband comes in from work, his wife meets him in the hallway somewhat surprised that he is home, even though its the normal time. He leans in to kiss her and she seems flustered as though she has lost track of time. She has the slight hint of a scent something like a weak aftershave or cologne, but its unfamiliar. She claims that she is about to shower and heads for the bathroom. The bed looks as though it were made in a hurry and there is a musky odor in the air. He catches a glimpse of his wife stepping into the shower and notices her nipples are erect and her vagina puffy. He instantly gets a tingle in his pants. Whether he realizes it or not, consciously or subconsciously, he has been subjected to the "Infidelity Effect" - The natural attraction to an unfaithful woman.

     You may be the husband, but the children may not be yours. Because reproduction does not limit women to selecting only one partner even when in the confines of a marriage. You want a healthy and attractive mate that will provide you an increased opportunity to carry your genetic line. But this is what she wants, too. A new study suggests that the human male has developed mechanisms to ensure his genes are prevalent during post-copulation as well, a biological function called "***** Competition", which would be "the inevitable consequence of males competing for breeding with the same female."

      ***** competition is wide spread amongst promiscuous species, but seems quite weird in a monogamous species like humans. But in reality, biologists believe that strictly sexually monogamous species are almost non existent. Even in species that are regarded as examples of fidelity, like many birds, females have "affairs" or extra pair copulations, and humans are no exception as we are a species recently evolved from highly promiscuous chimpanzee-like species.

     But in a species like ours, where the male invests all his resources in raising children inside a monogamous couple, spending them into his wife's lovers genetically unrelated offspring means a biological disaster. In the USA alone, 1.6 million men are raising children that they did not father. Fourteen percent of married women admit that they have had affairs while married, where researchers put that number closer to 28%, due to women being more reluctant to admit affairs while still married, putting female infidelity nearly as high as men.

      Competition may also affect ***** count. For example, when men spend more time away from their partners, when their partners could get the opportunity to mate with other males, the number of ***** cells per similar ***** volumes rises sharply. In one research, molds of human penises removed a *****-like substance from an artificial vagina, suggesting that the penis developed its shape to act as an anatomical plunger that breaks up and suctions out rival men's ***** deposits. Suspected infidelity may also stimulate the penis causing it to elongate beyond its usual size enabling men to plunge deeper into a women's vagina. Increased testosterone levels will cause facial hair to grow faster and the sex drive to increase. Men that usually have a modest sex drive can suddenly **** several times a day. These levels can make the ejaculent take on an odor that is suppose to deter other males from wanting to mate with her. My wife says that ours smells like Allspice. This along with *********** can give a husband an indication whether or not his wife has been with other men. However, the cuckold / wittol husband, may in fact be attracted to the scent knowing that his wife may be full of a competing males *****, feeding his fetish.

     There are also sexual behaviors pointing to ***** competition. Women report that men thrust more deeply and quickly into the vagina after allegations of infidelity, a mechanism researchers believe is directed for ***** removal. Researchers also believe that not only the increase in ***** cells after a period of separation is a sign of ***** competition, but also their greatly increased libido in the same situation. The male wants to copulate as soon as possible and as much as possible as insurance against rival ***** plugs having a chance to impregnate his wife. "Sexual conflict between males and females produces a co-evolutionary arms race between the sexes, in which an advantage gained by one sex selects for counter-adaptations in the other sex." Because of excitement levels and the increased chance of a woman orgasming during sex with a lover, and less chance of orgasming with her husband due to familiarity, a woman is more likely to become pregnant from an encounter with another man then from her own husband. She may also ********** more in anticipation of an affair increasing her vagina's acidity levels killing her husbands *****. Even with her husband creaming in her every day or more, she has skewed the likely hood of becoming pregnant with a competing males offspring even when her access to him may be limited to a few times a month. It would be interesting to see in future studies if females developed mechanisms for increasing retention of *****, after being inseminated by more desirable males.




     The fetish or desire to share, swap or to even have your wife cheat on you is all intertwined into ***** competition and the infidelity effect. It is in fact the most prevalent male fantasy and has evolutionary, biological, and social roots that go back to the beginning of human history. For a couple that enjoys the thrill and excitement of sharing and cuckolding, the infidelity effect can be as strong as any other human instinct.


Good luck and happy cucking





deleted deleted
26-30
20 Responses Aug 11, 2010

"What if" what you have" is a husband who wants to share you?"<br />
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If you are a wife who wants to be shared then you both want what you have so you should be happy. But if you are a wife who doesn't want to be shared and you are with a husband who wants to share you then what you have is a husband who wants what he doesn't have in a wife, but you are a wife who wants what she has in a husband, and doesn't want anything else so you are a mismatch. She is satisfied and happy, and he isn't. <br />
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"but if a man has a wife that wants to sleep with other guys and he also has the "cuckold gene"..........why not share?"<br />
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I see no reason not to except for the problems it may create. But if both parties can deal with those problems in a successful way then everything should work out. That is what a lot of guys on here don't seem to hear me saying so I will say it again. If both spouses are cool with the sharing situation then everything should be fine. <br />
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The problem I try to address is with the guys who want to push, prod, poke, coerce, persuade, manipulate, pressure, or trick their wives into sharing when she has said she doesn't want to do it. She is willing to indulge their "fantasies" by playing, but not turn those fantasies into a reality and for some reason they see this as her desire to secretly do what they want her to, so it then becomes their mission to find ways to get her to do it. I have seen lots of marriages where that happened and quite often it ends up badly. <br />
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Trying to push your spouse into doing something they are against and are seriously uncomfortable with isn't a good thing and it usually is going to cause problems or the end of the marriage.

"It is a religous ritual.........probably why I survived the Rapture."<br />
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I wouldn't know since I am not Jewish, or even religious, at all. I just hear quotes like this that make sense to me. Essentially what they are saying is that if you go through life always wanting something other than what you have, even if you eventually get it, you probably aren't going to find happiness, but if what you have is what you want that is a good thing.

Rabbi Hyman Schachtel and others have said:<br />
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"Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have."<br />
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So I guess that for those that are not satisfied, for one reason or another, with what they have, sharing will always be necessary in their quest for happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment.

ladyblue......... I commented on your response and you sound like this is a personal issue and those that have experienced cheating realize the trust has been broken and can never I say never return fully. My dad cheated on my mother in their early years and she never forgave him even though they stayed together for over 20 years after the fitst offense. Who knows where the problem begins. Is it upbringing and respect for others. Is it a desire to reproduce? Is it a searching to fulfill something unknown just as drugs. The stimulation involved during sex is definitely stronger to some people than drugs andis additive. Sharing is a couple descision but many times is becomes an individual descision pushed on the other partner. Even though I dont believe we are animals sometimes we act like it.... a goat is constantly tryin to get over the fence to the what it thinks is a more desireable field, we seem no different. It seems many women search for a man who can fulfill their needs better . That could mean sexually or financially where a man is looking whatever he believes to be a better catch. We are not content, we are selfish, we are never satisfied, why? Solomon had a 1000 wifes why? To conquer and reproduce who knows? We should be in a monogamy relationship and science does suggest married people are happier and live longer but the desire to have sex is deeply ingrain in our nature to be self fulfilled just like a drug addict. The problem I feel usually takes place is neither the male or female really know how to meet the needs of the other because they look through their own eyes and not the eyes of the other. If we look through the others eyes we would be slow to engage in anything that may cause harm and would be quick to insure the other was loved and respected. Most women don't feel loved and most men dont feel respected by their spouses. Happy relationships!

"but for a person who wants to see his wife with another man it would be tedium........torture.....and monotony after a year or two. Why do you think people cheat?"<br />
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But cheating doesn't involve seeing your wife with another man. It involves being with another woman so there is no comparison. Once again, you are talking apples and oranges here. <br />
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"Sex is in the mind......the fantasy is everything. All the rest is just massage and excercise."<br />
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If that is true then keeping fantasies in the mind should be enough to keep someone stimulated and they shouldn't need to actually play out the fantasy to be satisfied. <br />
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"As you have described your sex game, it seems very nice......but for a person who wants to see his wife with another man it would be tedium........torture.....and monotony after a year or two."<br />
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If that is true then he should be honest with the woman he loves and wants to marry and tell her of this desire right from the start before he marries her, so she will know what she is facing instead of leading her to believe that he is completely in favor of monogamy, which she probably is if she is willing to marry him and take those monogamous vows. Disclosing how you really feel about sex and monogamy after you have roped the woman in, and stolen the years of her life from her when she was most attractive, wasn't dependent on you for one reason or another, and had more men to choose from who were more in line with her values and thinking than you have now disclosed that you are, is cruel. I honestly believe that most men don't disclose these secret desires until after a woman has passed her prime and has become dependent one them for one reason or another, because they know that if they had they probably would have lost her, and would have had a very hard time finding a woman they truly loved and wanted to share their life with who was also willing to be shared with other men and treated like a sex ob<x>ject .

I would not do it and he knows that, and its not because I just don't like it, or find it less than enjoyable. Its because I have a strong aversion to it and HATE it. It was uncomfortable, at times disgusting, degrading, humiliating, repulsive, and awful. My current husband knows that since he was one of the men my ex husband shared me with. He does not have the desire to share me. In fact he is the opposite. He covets me and wants me all to himself. He doesn't feel the need to parade me around and get an ego kick out of having other guys drool over me and want to poke me. <br />
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I believe that marriage is about compromise and understanding. I think that each spouse should be willing to compromise and do things for their spouse that they really want "unless" it is something that they feel very strongly about, and really do not want to do. If it is only recreational or "fun" then I think you should not push them to do it if they REALLY don't want to. If you love them you should respect their feelings and let it go. If it is something that is beyond recreation that they need for more important reasons (like moving for a job or something like that) then I think you should consider a way to make it work for them. These are just my feelings. I believe that mutual respect, honesty, trust, caring, and understanding are very important to a marriage. Selfishness, mistrust, secrecy, dishonesty, deception, disrespect, lack of caring and concern, and things like that are all marriage killers to me. <br />
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Continuing to want your wife to do something that is just for your personal sexual gratification and enjoyment, and trying to find ways to push her into doing it after she has said repeatedly that she definitely doesn't want to, is very selfish to me. Also convincing yourself that once she has done it she will really like it to justify the pushing is also selfish. This idea that when women say "NO" they may really mean "YES" is very outdated. <br />
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You guys should ask yourself if you would be willing to do things that you have a STRONG aversion to just for your wife's sexual gratification? If she told you the idea of watching you get ****** in the *** by a big huge **** (unless you are into that) and then seeing you suck your poop and blood off the guys **** really turns her on, would you be willing to try it just to please her? If the answer is a definitive "NO" then I think you may be able to get my point. For some women the thought of having sex with another man, with you or without you there, is downright revolting, and if that is the case pushing her or manipulating her into doing it just to please you because the idea of it really turns you on is wrong and is likely to permanently impact your marriage in a negative way if you keep pushing. <br />
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You may be confused because she indulges your fantasies and you have hot sex as a result, so you think she really wants to do it, but is resisting because she is inhibited, afraid of losing you, or something like that. Please understand that many times the sex may be hot, not because she actually wants to do the fantasy she is indulging for you, but instead because it really turns you on when she plays your game, and often we get aroused while having sex and playing out fantasies we may not want to actually do, because our husband gets more aroused by our little games, and as a result we get aroused more. Its not the actual fantasy that makes us hot. Its about the fact that we have made our spouse greatly aroused and that is a turn on for us. Its about them and their aroused state, and not the fantasy or the idea of doing it, that makes us hot.

"For those of you who don't believe me.......ask yourself, did you have sex with your wife a year ago tonight? I'm willing to bet you don't remember. Now ask yourself, when was the last time my wife ****** another man? I'll bet you remember that one......and I'm sure you are getting pleasure from thinking about it".<br />
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Sorry, but I think we are talking apples and oranges here and not apples and apples, or oranges and oranges. I think the more accurate questions to ask would be "did your wife have sex with another man a year ago tonight?' I'm willing to bet they don't remember the exact date that they had very memorable sex with their wife for whatever reason, but they remember the experience, and get pleasure from thinking about it. <br />
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Just like you remember "coffee and cigarretes, mornings in Paris, starry nights and some wild and often unplanned sex with women" you loved, but you probably do not remember the exact dates those things happened, my husband remembers steamy sex with me on the dock of our lake, incredibly hot sex we have had on hot summer nights as the moonlight bathed our room, crazy hot sex we've had after a night of fun role playing, and other sexual moments we have had TOGETHER that stand out, but I am sure he does not remember the dates those things happened and if they were a year ago tonight, or some other time.

I know MSC. There are many, many reasons people get divorced. I was just discussing what came up in relation to this story.

@lady Divorce occurs for a dozen reasons. You cited one. Women ignoring their husbands is right up there as well. So is disagreements about money and so on.

"We do all those things together, like any other hobby or game couples do together. Cheating is bad.......this is really fun."<br />
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And once again, that is my point. If you both just see sex like any other hobby or game, and nothing more, then having sex with others shouldn't be any big deal for you, or her. But please recognize that that is not the case with everyone. Some people see it differently and don't see sex as being like a hobby or a game. They see it as much more. Also, if you see sex as just like any other hobby or game then why would you have a problem with cheating, and only want to have sex with others together? Would you be upset if your wife secretly met another man and did puzzles with him, or played scrabble with him? Or would you only want your wife to do puzzles or play scrabble with other people if you were there too? If you see sex as just like a hobby or game, then your wife doing it with other people, with or without, your knowledge or without you being there doesn't seem like it should be a problem. Its just fun. Its just a game, right? <br />
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"I wouldn't change a thing.......well I would have let my first wife sleep with all the guys she wanted<br />
.........why shouldn't she be happy"<br />
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And if that is what she needs to be happy then sure. But please understand that some men want their partners to sleep with other men, not for the woman's enjoyment or pleasure, but for theirs. So if the woman doesn't want to, but the man wants her to, that can be a problem. If a woman is perfectly satisfied with her partner and only wants to have sex with him, and sees sex as a special bonding experience, and ex<x>pression of love, being with a man who wants her to do it with other men because it gets him aroused can be very upsetting, and a real buzz kill for her.

"If a wife finds the idea of sex with another man sexy, interesting, or titillating and only needs your acquiescence to **** them........this will probably be the most fun you've ever had."<br />
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And that was my point about these kinds of relationships becoming somewhat superficial and shallow. If fun is the most important thing and you are willing to sacrifice love and bonding to have more fun then sharing will probably work for you. The problem is that a lot of people who feel this way are with partners who feel differently. That was the case with my ex. The excitement and fun was more important to him than our love and our bond, until he lost all of it and then he realized that fun and excitement should never take precedence over love, your marriage, and your spouse's feelings. <br />
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"instead of being mad and jealous.......just encourage her to do it with guys she finds sexy and share it with you. Worked for me."<br />
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Just curious . . . if it worked for you why did all of those relationships end?

"I'm sure with your wit you must appreciate the irony of meeting your husband, while having him as one of your partners in hedonistic intercourse......which I assume you enjoyed a lot." <br />
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I didn't enjoy being shared at all. Many of the guys were creepy and didn't have good sexual skills. Most of them only cared about their pleasure and not mine. My current husband was the first man my ex husband shared me with that I really enjoyed having sex with, and that was only after we started having an emotional relationship with each other and falling in love.<br />
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"Being shared by your husband with the other men apparently wasn't all bad."<br />
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It was awful, uncomfortable, awkward and I hated it. <br />
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"But I do understand your point and I think people who do this should understand.......did you feel devalued by you husband sending you out for sex with other men?"<br />
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Yes I did. I felt like an ob<x>ject, a toy, and his personal **** star. It was degrading and caused me to feel exploited and abused. <br />
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"Did you have guilt at the idea of casually screwing other men?"<br />
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No, not at all since my ex thought it was great and as a result there was nothing to feel guilty about. <br />
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"Did your husband pressure you into having intercourse with other men?"<br />
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Yes, and I found that was the case with most of the other women I knew in the lifestyle. If you read what many of the men write here on EP you will see that is usually the way it happens. The woman is rarely the one who initiates. The women I have known who initiated it and liked it did so because 1) their husband's didn't turn them on anymore, or never did; 2) their sex life with their husband wasn't satisfying anymore, or never was; or 3) they had psychological issues.<br />
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"Those are all reasons why I think men should not involve their wives in wife sharing........only wives who really want to should be shared."<br />
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I agree. I have to say that the number of relationships that you have had that involved sharing, but have not lasted, may be an indicator that sex outside of the relationship doesn't lead to a lasting relationship. As I have written in response to other stories, I think it is harder for women to separate sex from love than it is for men. I think this is one of the reason that women are less inclined to want sex outside of the relationship. Many of us see sex as an ex<x>pression of love. We have a hard time enjoying sex with someone we don't have a relationship with, or don't even know. As a result, many women who engage in extramarital sex end up getting to know the man they want to sleep with, and they develop feelings for him, and this often leads to the destruction of the underlying relationship. Also, it is much easier to walk away from a relationship that has some problems when you know there are plenty of other men out there who want you, than it is to stick with the relationship and try to work things out. Relationships that involve sharing often become more shallow and superficial, and the parties will stay out of convenience, comfort, and security rather than love.

"I respect the fact you may never try it"<br />
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If you read my stories you will see that I have tried it, and I HATED it. I am now married to one of the men my ex shared me with and we are incredibly happy and totally monogamous. We have no desire to share or be shared. Our sex life is far from boring because we are both very imaginative and creative, and as a result know that there are many ways to keep sex with the same person exciting and fun. But I do suppose that if you aren't imaginative and creative sex with the same person might become boring and the only way you could figure out how to make things more enjoyable is to have sex with other people to feel a different body.

"Our deepest sexual enjoyment comes from the wife having sex with other men.....with the enthusiastic knowledge of her husband."<br />
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It depends on the person. Not everyone is the same. While some men find this hot, others find it disgusting. <br />
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"Some cultures are pefectly happy NOT fitting into this model-Your not going to try& tell folks that there are more unhappy folks in those societys-Are you?(we just have to look at the divorce rate amoung Monogamas marrages)!"<br />
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People in non-monogamous marriages are unhappy and get divorced too. Marriage isn't just about sex. Being able to have sex with multiple people isn't going to be the only thing that keeps people together.

Actually it is all from the natural (meaning instinctual, physical, scientific) sense. Just like ***** competition is the reason many men are turned on by cheating women. If you read the book "Why We Love" it explains a lot of this. Often our emotions and physical reactions are governed by hormones which are released under certain circumstances, and often those hormones are released solely for the purpose of procreation and the perpetuation of the species. <br />
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When people meet and are attracted to each other infatuation can occur which results in very lustful feelings. Infatuation is the result of the release of large amounts of endorphins, dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin which is also released during sex. As the infatuation fades, if love continues dopamine, and phenylethylamine dwindle while oxytocin (a bonding hormone) becomes more prevalent. The increased bonding often leads to the desire to become monogamous and raise a family. When people become parents sexual desire sometimes dwindles and this is the result of decreased testosterone in both the male and the female. Testosterone is a hormone that increases the desire for sex. Because testosterone diminishes and oxytocin increases when couples are raising a family, sexual desire often decreases and the desire to be bonded and monogamous increases. This is so that people will successfully raise their children and the man (or woman) will not abandon their family to obtain sexual satisfaction with someone else. As the children get older and become more independent testosterone levels begin to increase which then increases sexual desire. This is why men (and women) often experience a midlife crises which sometimes leads to infidelity or divorce. <br />
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Its all about the perpetuation of the species. Some people have naturally higher levels of testosterone than others, no matter what the circumstances, and they are often the people who don't really feel the need or desire to be monogamous. Other people have naturally higher levels of oxytocin and they are often the ones who feel very bonded with their partner and want monogamy. It has nothing to do with society. Society often follows the patterns of nature and not the reverse.

Actually it is natural for men and women to be monogamous to raise children, and sex is all about procreation in the natural sense, and not physical enjoyment. It goes back to early man and the fact that a man was needed to impregnate the woman, and then protect and provide for her and her offspring. When people fall in love and have children bonding hormones are released that promote monogamy so that the children will be adequately cared for and provided for and will grow up healthy and strong. Its all about the continuation of the species. <br />
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Divorce often occurs because the woman finds out the man is not monogamous and/or does not properly care for, and provide for, her and her children. It also occurs once the children are grown and those bonding hormones taper off.

OMG I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!! THANKS TODD

Thanks a nice read. I have always found myself ashamed for being so turned on by sharing my wife. This has happened only a few times but we relive the experience over and over.

This is a well written and reasoned expose of why men are aroused by the thought of another man having sex with their wife.

A fun condensed reading of both biological, social and psychological root cause behind the phenomenon described. I think it is slightly off-topic for the group as most men who share their wife do it in a conscious context that aims to either exonerate the wife from guilt as she is free to pursue her desires or vicariously appeal to the husband through his wife's pleasure. <br />
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In addition to ***** competition or reproductive competition in general, I remember reading that some spermatozoids have a 'killer' function that kicks in when they encounter rivals within the female reproductive system. Fun stuff to find out if you believe in the evolutionary model.