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I Joined

 To be anonymous and have a space to vent when I am depressed and suicidal.

I often feel I have worn out my friends and have no where to go, so I write on here.

I write in a journal too but I like the idea someone might see my pain and cries for help here and I can get support because I know I'm not the only one who struggles in life. 

It helps and maybe someone reads some of what I write when I just need comfort or support or to be heard.

I live alone. I have been through serious trauma.  I have come a long way. It is a slow process. You go through it alone. :( It is challenging and hard at times.

Counseling isn't enough. Friends aren't enough. I have no family.

I can't just quit feeling. or feeling bad for that matter at times. So here I am in secret.

I want attention but don't want to bother anyone. It is too much of a burden on others. They can only do so much even if they do love you. You are on your own in life. Bottom line. 

I like having a place where I can say anything. I don't care if I am ever judged poorly either. I can delete. I'm not looking to be cured. Things don't work that way anyway. I just need love and support and kindness and encouragement. Basic needs. I just had most of my life with no one there for me. So I am wounded. Maybe extra needy or have abandonment issues.. I've been through my share of things anyway

Hoping for brighter days everyday

BrokenDoll BrokenDoll 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2009

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I too joined for much of the same reasons mentioned; I was close to my mother, who passed away three years ago, and I miss my Mum every day. My father I never knew. I have no friends, due to suffering from a childhood illness, I hardly went to school, and I had to study on my own from home.



I too feel very lonely, needy and very depressed. I wish every day to have friends to talk to, to share experiences, ideas, thoughts with, to go out and have a life with, to love and to be loved back.



Every day I leave my house for work, not my home. (A home has love, warmth, laughter, energy filled with care and affection). I leave without hearing a warm human voice, without a kiss, without being noticed.



I commute to work by subway, I see a thousand faces, yet no one to talk to. Every day my talk at work is about work, everyone else has a life, I don’t. I am the quiet grey man of the office, just gets on with his work.



We as human being are just that, being! Being loved, being acknowledged, being part of something special and being alive.



We all need to be loved, cared for, and we want to reciprocate the same feelings.



I understand that EP will not completely fill the void of a person to person contact. But it’s a good place to make one’s own feeling, ideas, thoughts expressed, in a safe un-judgemental environment.

It’s a place of being part of something where people share thoughts, experiences and feelings.

That is what being alive is about, isn’t it?

I came here in 2010 about June-September somewhere between that I joined. I will talk to you anytime also

yes i know what your saying,, I also am alone, no one to talk to to say good morning,,how is your day,,to go for a ride in the country,,picknick lunch under a shsde tree by the lake,,,yes i can fell your loneness,,,,

Hey I can relate very much to what you say here. I've been on EP for several years now and it's been a great help to me overall. Of course it is not a cure but the ideas and help I've gotten from people here have helped me in my own life.

Il talk to you any time you want ok.

So I guess EP's matching algorithms work. You sound just like me! Welcome to the non-book-of-the-face, where no birds tweet your name but you can accept or ignore without shame.

Just know that I am (in my head) where you are. I thank you for describing our emotionally depressive personalities so accurately. And for the reminder that we are not alone. I'll be reading you!