A Dream..

my 1st memory came to me in a dream...at 1st that's all i thought it was until every night it kept happening. As the weeks passed and months the dream became more and more vivid until it was as if it was happening at that very moment. The dream was of my father coming into my room when i was in my crib and abusing me....i dont know what exactly he did to me when i was a baby but i know that that baby was hurting and crying. this dream(which actually wasn't a dream) unlocked all of my memories from my childhood of everything he did. so i could finally deal with the year of sexual abuse he put me through. This is the 1st thing i remember...I wish it were something happier but its not and wishing never got anyone anywhere
silverstar415850 silverstar415850
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 21, 2011

yeah..i realize that now. and one day when i can talk about it out loud maybe i will b able to move on

yeah thats prob it, u finally feel safe u body is starting to see that it is ok to feel now, even though u may not want to think bout it. u will never forget what happened but in time it wont effect u life as much.

yeah...i dont know why all of the sudden at 21 i started remembering but i have and its taken over my life since then for the past year. maybe my brain is releasing it all now because im in a place where i feel safe enough to remember without it destroying me. whatever the reason. its out now and im searching for ways to heal. thank you for ur support :)

i use to think it was all a dream to, then when i realized it wasnt i wanted so badly for it to be. u know i am always here for u