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Christopher.

His name is Christopher. He was the first guy that ever told me that he'd never hurt me. He told me that he loved me. After a month of being with him, he changed. It's strange how one person can go from being great to being a monster. He stole something from me and I want it back. He forced himself onto me numerous times. I never wanted to. I hated him for what he did to me. Then he got me pregnant. Three months later I miscarried. He abused me mentally, emotionally, physically and verbally. I'm not the same any more. I trust no one. I don't like people. I try to stay away from them, especially large crowds of people. I find it overwhelming at times. People overwhelm me. I don't feel comfortable around people. I don't even think I like people all that much. I know that there are some that are nice. I have yet to meet those people. Perhaps one day, if I ever do decide to let my guard down.
Rudinsky Rudinsky 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 17, 2012

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wasnt christopher a doctor?

It is so easy in the throes of the beginning relationship to let emotions and common sense keep us from recognizing danger signs or red flags if you will. So please don't blame yourself at all for what happened. it sounds as if you might need to get some counseling through a local mental health program or clinic for your symptoms sound very similiar to PTSD post traumatic syndrome.

Whatever he took from you is just gone please don't see him again to get it back, get on with your life and IF you ever see him again make sure you are the one standing tall. Abusers thrive on knowing they have affected in that way. they like vulnerable people to bully so stand tall become the best you can and show him and the world no one has power over you but you. I am truly sorry you had to suffer the pain of losing a child as well there is nothing harder in life to endure. GodBless young one stay strong and ask Our Father for strength you are to young to have a closed off existence.

Thank you. I am seeing a psychiatrist. I am also on meds because my depression is really bad. I refuse to see Christopher ever. I haven't seen him in almost four years I think now. He still emails me but I just ignore them. I even changed my email so I don't check the old email anymore. Thank you again.