Letting A Friend Go Becuase Of My Mistake

Jessica and I met for the first time in the second grade. This girl was dirty blond, had an innocent personality, LOVED animals and was never a mean person. I had slept over her house before, we had gone skating in her  neighborhood, we went swimming together, Trick or Treating. We even battled through summer school together. She was just always there.

During middle school, we had actually planned moving in together with one other goofy girl, Tammy. It always the three of us during elementary, but I knew Jessica first.  We all kept making these fairy-tale dreams of being good friends in this big house much like the Golden Girls. The last time I was with Jessica, was over her grandparents' house. We sat there at the kitchen table, writing out a list of stuff for OUR future.

When 7th grade hit, I began to have other friends. I had so many friends, that I got so excited and did not do my work. That caused me yet another few months of summer school. Jessica along with another long-time mutual friend was there as well. I had ran into some trouble during Summer school, which I'm kind of embarrassed to admit here, but it was the end of school and I was standing at a particular part near the side of the street, under a big tree that we all used to wait for our rides at. For whatever reason, becuase of this embarrassing thing I had went through (Typical teenage drama), I began to just give up in life, thinking the world was completely over. All the notes Jessica had wrote me during summer session, I threw in a puddle in the street. She tried asking me what was wrong. I kept turning away from her and the most vivid thing I remember about that moment, was her yelling my name over and over As she desperately tried working to know what happened to me. I remember I got in the car and I watched her squat to the street, picking out the letters and the look on her face was confusion. The friendship ended there. It was not just her but I did this with our mutual friend, which I eventually patched things up with her and we act like nothing ever happened. We are still friends today. But I did not get to with Jessica.

It wasn't until during the 10th grade, We actually had a class together; Biology. I could tell she had changed A LOT. She was not the goody-goody girl i used to know. She had an attitude (not a bad one) and she cursed a bit. She grew up and lost touch of our mutual friends. The girl I knew as a second grader was gone. All I had of her were memories. We did not talk but we did talk to each other if we HAD to. We were nice, but I could tell the friendship was just very gone! There was just no way to revive it.

The fact that the friendship is gone does not bother me as much as how I treated her just becuase I felt the world was over at the time. I have been trying to find her on Facebook to let her know how sorry I am, but I have been praying to God that I can find her one day. Writing about this has opened up some fresh wounds i thought were long gone. Boy, was I surprised.

It's just silly when I think about it. I threw years of friendship away that had it's ups and downs over a silly little thing.

So glad I'm not a stupid teenager anymore. Being an adult rocks!

FashionQueen86 FashionQueen86
26-30, F
1 Response Jun 11, 2012

i'd have to agree on not being a teenager anymore, with age comes a lot of perspective. cheers to growth and being the person that you were always meant to be.

Thank you for responding. It irks me when I think about. Actually, I did not really think about it until now. I just kind of pushed it off for a few years. But I saw this group and thought up of regrets and Jessica came up. Had I had the mind of an adult in my teen years....boy, I would have been in heaven. :)