Why I Am Here?

it often has played on my mind.my brother died when he was a baby.i have nearly died three times.i have little to offer this world.in fact,even though i hate admitting it,i more like a child than an adult.so,why?why did i survive?what is it i am supposed to do?i hope i am fulfilling my obligations.i hope i am worthy of this time i have been here.and worthy of the efforts of my parents.what keeps me up at night ,is the eventuality that my mom and dad are going to die.and frankly,i think it will kill me.i have no one.in fact they are the only souls i know.no one else has ever took the time to know me.i wonder if this is as good as my life is going to be.and if it is worth going on.i am not suicidal,i could not put my family through that.i even wonder if i accomplished to much,maybe i was meant to stay babyish.since that seems to be what people think of me.maybe i was not meant to overcome all that i have.then the big one,can i overcome what i know is coming?i know i am slowly becoming crippled.i know i am going to be in pain.but i also know the ones who help me are not immortal.it takes my breath away.i know everyone loses their parents.i know it is hard on everyone..i am not alone.but when they are gone,i will be alone.
ghostofmyself ghostofmyself
Sep 6, 2011