Just Right Part Two

She did a double take, and I knew I was right in thinking he was something special.

I was sitting with one of my favourite directors, a lovely young woman who elicits erections from men young and old wherever she goes. She is beautiful and kind, and I have taken her into my confidence about my exploits on the interwebs because she is far more experienced than I in the ways of men and sex.  At her young age, roughly half my own, she is in many ways more savvy than I.  She is surrounded by handsome men of all ages.  In her profession, she encounters fellows who are extraordinarily easy on the eyes.

We'd been talking about J.  "He's really something," I told her.  "He's smart but not too smart."  She looked at me, laughing.  "No, I mean it.  Some men are so smart that they think everyone else is inferior to them.  He is smart, but he's not arrogant or a know it all."

She nodded.  She knew what I meant. 

"And he's clever, and charming," I continued.  Those are two separate things, and a lot of it depends on chemistry between two people, but the thing is that I found him charming.  She might not, because she is a dominant personality herself, and some of his comments might turn her off, but they charmed that pants off of me.  On more than one occasion.

"He's dirty, but not too dirty," I said, musing on the way he had of using language to make me wet, to make me ***.  "Some guys are just crude, you know?"  She nodded.  She does know.  She's seen many men behave badly.  "He uses language for effect, but he doesn't go overboard, and he'll often just converse without any sexual content."

I don't know why I felt it necessary to get her stamp of approval on him, but I wanted to share what it was about him that I liked so much.  Maybe to prove I was not just a fickle ***** who'd been in love with someone else, plotting to spend time with him in a hotel room, only to then transfer my affections to the next man who came along when the first fellow ditched me.  It's been a while, though, since he disappeared, and the lady director did not judge my transition harshly.  She understands that love needs meat to feed upon.  And god knows I'm hungry for the love of a good man.  I've an insatiable appetite, I think.

"And he's handsome.  I mean movie star handsome.  Want to see a photo?" I asked.

"Sure," she said, looking as I turned my laptop screen toward her, J's jpeg displayed.   "Nice!" she exclaimed.

Then she did the double take, and I realized that the "nice!" was just a reflexive action, a kindness one performs in acknowledging that a friend is in love.  She would have said it even if he resembled Quasimodo.

But this guy is handsome. Seriously.  I look at his photograph and marvel at my good fortune in attracting the attention of such a fine specimen.  I fantasize about kissing his beautiful lips, being held by his lovely hands.  I know that "love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."  But sometimes the mind sees things as they really are.  And I got news for you: this man could be a male model.  So not joking.

When I've not had enough sleep, a little voice whispers in my ear that he's too handsome.  That when he finally sees me and realizes I am just a regular mortal, albeit one who can write pretty well, I'm in for a rude awakening.  But then I lay down and get some rest, and the voice shuts up.  Or if it starts to whisper again, I have enough mental strength and self confidence to tell it to shut the **** up.  But it's a bit of a bother having to hear that voice.  Still, it's really the only negative I've found yet about J.  That he is too handsome.  I'm not going to let that stop me from meeting him at the end of the month.  After all, if I let physical beauty intimidate me, I'd never have become so close to Handsome Actor and the other gorgeous theatre people I know.

The key thing is that J is not egotistical.  He's confident - lord almighty, is that man confident - but he isn't so in love with himself that he's insufferable.  He's just the right mix of cocky and self deprecating.  He's smart enough to know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but that finding one who suits you well is a tricky proposition.  I may be more of a tomato clownfish rather than the sleek silver salmon women he could attract, but my colourful ways can be entertaining.  So I'm not going to worry about how ridiculously good looking he is. 

"He really is handsome," said the director.  "Crazy handsome."  She grinned at me.  "Well done, M."  I felt myself swell a bit with pride at having a romantic assignation in the offing with the man. 

"I know, right?" I asked.  "He's great."  And I hoped that when we met, he thought the same of me.
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

It's with school girl enthusiasm that you bubble to your girlfriend, as if the average girl has landed the star quarterback. But there is nothing average about you in either looks or charm. Remember, he has chosen you over all others. I'm sure that he feels just as fortunate as you do. Take confidence in that. You and your creamy breasts and star-like brightness have risen to the top.