This Place Was Soooo Bad!

If you lived in the NY/NJ/CT area in the late 70s and 80s you are probably familiar with the Poconos Mts of PA as a vacation destination.  One of the resorts had an advert that ran on the TV constantly during the 80s with a catchy little jingle--'Bea....u....ti.....ful   Mt. Air....ry   Lodge!   I looked fabulous!  Horseback riding through the autumn countryside, golf, tennis--outdoor or indoor in the 'Sports Palace' along with handball, raquetball, basket ball, ping pong and roller skating. There was swimming, boating, skiing...you name it.  And the rooms were absolute luxury...you could even get a room that had a private pool.  There was a nightclub with live music for dancing every night and a restaurant with world-class cuisine.  And the great part was it was ALL INCLUSIVE!  It was a bit pricey but we thought that it would be well worth it.  We booked a 3 day weekend.

We drove up to the entrance and were very impressed with the huge fountain out front.  The lobby was beautiful with soaring ceilings with huge crystal chandeliers.  Every thing was so plush and sumptuous.  We checked in and got a map of the place and went off to find our room.  The  hallway that they had directed us down was very dark--only about every fourth light was working and it was hard to see the numbers on the doors.  We continued searching for our room and noticed that the carpet was soaked in this part of the building.  As we continued down this dark hall there were large areas where the carpeting had been torn up to reveal the scarred floorboards beneath it.  We were beginning to think that the hallway needed some serious renovation when we finally found our room. 

Upon opening the room our senses were assaulted with a smell that seemed like a combination of stale cigarette smoke, chlorine bleach and some undefinable musty smell.  I can only describe the decor of the room as circa 1800 bordello.  Every thing was in shades of maroon and pink with heavy dark velvet draperies and bedspread.  There was a cracked mirror on the ceiling over the bed, bleach stains on the carpet, and water stains on the ceiling.  In the bathroom the mirror over the sink was cracked and the tank cover on the back of the toilet was missing and had been replaced with a piece of wood! We called down to the front desk to ask for a different room and they said that they were full and there were no other rooms available.  At this point, we figured that the room wasn't that important--there were a lot of activities that were included for free and we were there to have fun.

We thought that a quick game of miniature golf would be fun before it got too dark so we headed out to find it, but when we got there, the course was so crowded that we decided to try something else.  We headed off to find the 'Sports Palace' with its many entertainments.  We walked down several more dark hallways and were begining to feel lost.  There was a large open area ahead of us with large sheets of plastic hanging from the ceiling as it there was some construction project underway.  That was when we almost walked into several large buckets of water that were in the hallway collecting water that was dripping off the ceiling.  We saw someone through the plastic and asked them where the indoor sports were and they said 'you're looking at them'.  Yes there were a couple of sorry looking tennis courts, one of which had large puddles of water on it.  There was one ping pong table with a broken leg and we were told that the rest of it was being renovated.  The whole place was a joke! 

This was just too much.  We had paid ALOT of money for this resort weekend and the whole place was a shambles.  We went to the front desk to complain and ask for our money back.  We just wanted to go home.  In the lobby there was a long line of people ahead of us.  As we waited we could hear other people with complaints and they didn't look very happy.  After waiting about 20 minutes we were next in line.  The man ahead of us was going through a long list of complaints similar to ours but the on duty manager just kept saying 'I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do.  You bought a package deal and it is not refundable.'  When we heard this we were shocked.  We quietly slipped out of line and headed back to our room.

What could we do?  How could we get our money back?  This was the most ridiculous thing we had ever heard!  We headed off to the dining room for dinner still trying to think of a way to get out of this dump with our money.  In the dining room they seated us at a table with 3 other couples.  Now I know that is is common on cruise ships and such but we had never experienced this arrangement before.  We were sitting at a table with 6 strangers!  Neither of us is very good around strangers so it was uncomfortable to say the least.  And to make things worse, the food was terrible!

After dinner we headed down to check out the 'night club'.  It was in the basement and looked more like a dungeon than a place to have fun and dance.  The 'live entertainment' was one guy playing guitar.  There were a few couples at the small tables and no one on the dance floor.  The guy on stage was singing a Kenny Rogers song VERY poorly.  Luckily the singer finished his song and took a break.  Needless to say, we didn't stick around for his return.

Back in our room we discussed our options.  I work in an operating room and am on call alot so I suggested we have someone call the front desk for us and say that there was an emergency and I had to come to work right away.  The main problem with this was it was now late at night and anyone that we could ask to make this fake call for us was sleeping.  We decided to go to sleep and make the arrangements in the morning.  We got our PJs on and crawled into bed.  It felt like there was something rough on the sheets....we peeled the covers off to find multiple cigarette burn holes in the sheets!  Could it get ANY worse?!!  Now we are tired and angry and disgusted.  Laying there trying to sleep when suddenly the guy who was doing the really bad Kenny Rogers impersonation starts back up again sining Neil Diamond.  LOUDLY.  It was then that we realized that we must be right over the 'night club'!

In the morning we called a friend and explained our plan.  Soon after we got a call from the switchboard saying that I had an emergency call.  We packed up, went to the front desk and told them about the emergency and they were very nice and refunded the remainder of our weekend fees and said 'please come back soon'!    NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!!!!!

We were SO glad to be out of that place!

 

 

 

We have been back to the Poconos several times since then and stayed at a really nice resort.  Much better than Mt Airy Lodge.  I heard that they shut down a few years after our experience there.

ShewhoisEvolving ShewhoisEvolving
56-60, F
1 Response Mar 7, 2008

We laugh about it now....